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 Alyssa/Kalen

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Kalen Gespard
Lieutenant (R)
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Posts : 177
Join date : 2011-12-11
Age : 29

PostSubject: Re: Alyssa/Kalen    Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:37 pm

||USS Fenris
||Kalen's Quarters
||1550

Alyssa didn't even bother to go to her quarters, but went straight for Kalen's. She was upset and needed to be as far away from her cousin as possible. She stood outside his quarters. She swallowed her pride, and pressed the door chime, more than once. She had already decided that if he wasn't in his quarters, she would wait.

Kalen awoke from his half nap and yawned, stretching. He had taken off his uniform and pulled on some jeans and a polo and went to answer the door. He figured it was Alyssa, but he still wasn't quite sure what to say or do. It was such an interesting push and pull for them, he was just happy to be in the moment with her. He opened the door to see her and she looked very upset. He had wondered what had happened in the last few hours, since she had probably not slept as much as she wanted by the looks of things. He didn't say anything, he just pulled her into his arms and held her tight, letting her know that he would protect her if he could from whatever was upsetting her.

She hugged him back. Tears began to slide down her face. She couldn't handle keeping things bottled up anymore. And she wanted to stay more than anything. She wanted to know where this relationship would go and at this moment, she had no choice but to tell him everything. Well... mostly everything. There were a few things she would leave out if she could control herself. Right now, all she wanted was to cry and tell him everything.

He stood in his doorway with her, just holding her. He pulled her back further and wished his quarters had some more furniture in them. They were pretty much standard, chairs and a replicator and a bed. That was really just about it. He would need to get some sort of couch at some point if he kept entertaining people. For the moment though, he could think of nothing better so he walked with her and sat her down on the bed. "Don't get any funny ideas." He smiled at her and winked, sitting down next to her. He wiped her tears away and wrapped his arm around her again, rubbing her shoulder and holding her close. "What happened, Alyssa?" He felt after having a first date, using her first name was appropriate now. He hoped she would agree.

She breathed. She didn't know if she could do this. "My parents want to talk to me. And Lydia, my cousin who's the new counselor, won't drop the subject. My parents are separated and both told me flat out that I was disowned. This happened at the end of my first year at the academy. I went on a illegal spree after that happened for like six months. No one knew where I was or what I had done. It's good that I was able to get my criminal record sealed, before I went back for my second year at the academy." She breathed again, as more tears fell. The memories of that day were still too painful. "I was missing for a year, and my parents didn't care." She sobbed. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm dead to them." She buried her face into his shoulder, and cried. This was the first time she had said it out loud and it hurt.

He held her tight and stroked her hair and her back, just content to be there to comfort her. He listened to her woes but could only relate in the slightest. "My father always tried to get me to become a younger, smaller version of himself. In all of our interactions, it seemed that all he wanted was a clone. But I didn't want to be a clone, so I rebelled, like you. After doing my own adventuring of that sort, I too tried to return home. But the trouble was, there wasn't a home to return to. I found out when I went back that my parents had been killed just weeks before that. I hadn't ever gotten to show my father what I had accomplished in Starfleet. He died thinking I was a degenerate and a fool. You have an idea how much that can hurt. Alyssa, talk to your parents. Because one day they'll be gone, and you'll always regret not saying anything. Trust me...I know." He wiped a tear away from his face and sighed softly, resting his head against hers as she cried into his shoulder. "I know it will be hard. But they still love you. I will come with you to talk to them however you please if you want." He smiled softly and kissed her cheek. "If there's anything I can do to smooth this over and help you, I won't waver from standing by your side."

She shook her head. She knew and understood that he was trying, but she didn't want to. They told her, she was dead to them, making it so that she believed them to be dead as well. It had been too long to make things work or right. It also didn't help that she went and did what they wanted her to do anyways. "I can't." She whispered. She didn't know how to explain that her parents used her against each other, and that their separation had been since she was ten. Plus her parents hated each other and hated her even more. Her dad had learned that she was different from both of them, and tried to fix things a few years back, except she was into too much pain and too closed off for her dad to be able to do anything. "I just... can't." She whispered again. She hoped that he would understand that, but knew that was most unlikely. "I'm dead to them and they're dead to me. It hurts too much. Frankly, I don't believe that they want to speak to me. Ever since I can remember they've used me against each other, and told me often that they hate me. My mom even said that she wished she hadn't had me. I knew that I was unwanted and unloved by the time I was twelve. Just because my parents separated when I was ten, didn't mean anything. They use everyone they come in contact with. I want nothing to do with them." She pushed her face into his shoulder. She cried more. She was having a hard time believing that she was actually telling him this, and that her parents were on speaking term with each other.

He frowned slightly but accepted her reasoning. He was sure he wasn't aware of the full situation, but from how it sounded, it seemed like she was far too wounded to ever consider reconciliation. Perhaps with time and his help she could reach a point where she could talk to her parents again. But he wouldn't press the issue. He didn't know very much about these kinds of things. The people whom he got close to in his past had a nasty habit of dying. He was changing that with this ship though. He wouldn't let that happen here though. He considered all her comments silently. Sometimes the best thing to say wasn't to say anything at all. He just hugged her tight and wondered what spurred this sudden interest in talking to their daughter if her parents didn't like each other as much as she believed and didn't like her even more. He was curious, but he wouldn't interfere in her family life.

She pulled away from him, and wiped her face. She was trying to stop crying. "Sorry for telling you all of that. I just didn't think I could handle it anymore. If you want to know more, I'm sure Lydia would be more than happy to tell you. She'll probably get you to help with whatever plan she has. She wants me to talk to them too." She knew being alone was a dangerous thing, but she didn't want to ruin his night or their relationship by staying. She was already afraid that she had ruin their relationship by telling him about her parents and part of her past. She was more afraid of doing something stupid than anything else. Then realization hit her. They were sitting on his bed. She swallowed and closed her eyes. "You may want to think about getting a couch." She had to keep telling herself to breath, and to fight back the tears that were still coming.

He sighed softly and cupped her cheek with his palm, "Alyssa, I want to be open and honest with you and I want the same in return. Don't ever apologize for telling me things. Especially if they're things that hurt you. I want to be here for you, to help you deal with that pain. I won't betray your trust or try to get you to do something you don't want to. I was just making a suggestion. I wouldn't ever deem to know what's best for you. You know what's best, and I will always be on your side in that." He chuckled softly, "You know? I was just thinking about that earlier. I will have to replicate one or something. I would like you to keep coming back. I want you to feel just as welcome as you would in your own quarters. I have nothing to hide from you." He smiled softly and leaned in, kissing her forehead. "You don't have to go if you're not ready. I'm still here if you want to keep talking. You won't scare me away, Alyssa."

She looked into his eyes. "Kalen, I don't know how to trust someone. I've always been betrayed. I barely talk to my cousins, and they're the family members that I keep in contact with. You've manage to find out about my parents when they don't even know. Lydia would literally kill to know what you know." She had to close her eyes again and breath. "How can you betray my trust when I don't even know how to give it? And how can you say that I won't scare you away? I came to you because I'm afraid I'll do something stupid." She shook her head, then rested it on his chest. "I don't know even know why I told." She knew that the tears were sliding down her cheeks again, but this time she didn't care. She wanted to know what he thought about all of this, and why he's bothering to let her stay. She couldn't even figure out why she was staying.

He looked right back at her before she broke eye contact and held her close again. "Well I will do my best to never let you question me. I won't betray you. Already you've put things in my hands and that's where they will stay until you say otherwise. I appreciate how much you care and trust me, and I feel the same way in return." He shook his head, "I won't tell her. Not a word from my lips, I promise." He smiled softly and ran his fingers through her hair. "I can say you won't scare me away because there is nothing in heaven or on earth you can say that would put me in a place where being with you wasn't my top priority. I see that so clearly that there is nothing to even cast a shadow of doubt in my mind." He laid back with her, not for any physical activity, just to put his back on something. It had started to twinge and he needed to not sit up for a moment or two. "I won't let you go until you tell me to. I'm committed to this relationship, and I'm not going anywhere. I care so much about you Alyssa, and unless you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel the same way, I won't ever stop."

She couldn't help but feel that he was right. "Okay. Thanks for promising. Lydia and her family just got patched up. I don't want them to know." She laid there with him. It felt natural and it reminded her that her body was getting close to falling asleep. She yawned. She knew that either they keep talking or she was going to sleep. She sighed. "I lied." She bit her lower lip, as she listened to his breathing. "I've got one memory of my parents that is happy. Well, it was when I was five. But we were happy. I don't remember where we were, but I remember that it was a lake. We have or had, I don't know if my parents still own it, a cabin/huge house by a lake. We went there one summer, when I was five. It was just the three of us. My parents had taken a week off of work to spend time with me. It was the first summer that I learned how to swim. My dad was teaching me while my mom attempted to make us lunch. My mom can't cook. It was the only time I can remember them not fighting. That one week during the summer. By the way, I'm a terrible swimmer. I know all that's needed to survive." She laughed softly before yawning again. She'd stop crying, but her body was overly tired.

He smiled again, "You're welcome. Like I said, I'd do anything for you. I wouldn't jeopardize your relationship with your cousin. It's important to you, I can see that." He pondered what she said for a moment, and the only thing that came to mind was a flippant joke, so he decided to try to lighten the mood a little. "Well I guess that means you won't come play water polo with me then, now doesn't it?" He grinned at her and returned to his own memories of his family. His father pushing him to be better, to know more. To be everything he could be. Well he was striving for it now. He would be everything that he could be and he would be that way with her. "That's a good memory. Hold on to it. Maybe one day if you're ever ready to talk to them again, that memory will help you know what to say. Not saying you have to, but if you want to you always can." She was yawning, but he wasn't terribly tired having woken up from a nap. "You can sleep here if you want to Alyssa, I won't leave you if you don't want me to. I'll be here when you wake up, and tomorrow will be just as good of a day as today."

"I wouldn't call today a good day. It was a good day gone wrong that end with me here." She yawned again. "I might take you up on your offer. With me yawning so much. I would play water polo, but I don't know how." She admitted. She liked trying new things, and she wouldn't mind doing something he'd enjoy, even if it meant that she had to learn it. Which would be interesting to see. She moved into a position that allowed her to see his face. "No offense, but could we discuss something that isn't my family?" She knew that she probably looked terrible since she had been crying for most of their chat, but she didn't care. She liked the fact that he was allowing her to stay and willing to be there.

He chuckled, "Well alas despite your trials and troubles, I think it was a good day. I got to spend the majority of it with you." He shrugged his shoulders, "There is plenty of time for all that. We have all the time we need to do whatever we want." He ran a hand over her forehead and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, "Certainly. What do you want to talk about? I'll answer any questions you have. Though with my limited time on the ship, I'm afraid I don't have very many interesting stories quite yet." He pondered for a moment or three to try to think of anything he hadn't told her yet. His life seemed rather bland and boring short of his two traumatic experiences. Those were the only two stories he could think of to tell.

She did something that he wasn't excepting. She kissed him. "When was your first kiss?" She was curious to know, and he had said to ask him anything. So she was going to take advantage of that. Even if it did get he into a little bit of trouble. She was will to risk it and it was the first question that came to mind.

He smiled softly after she pulled away from the kiss. He pondered her question for a moment, "My first kiss was when I was fifteen. You remember how it was as a teenager. All awkward and such." He laughed, remembering that day. It wasn't incredibly important, not like this was. This was special and he knew that in his heart. "It wasn't anything special, we were just young and thought we knew everything about love. But now, I've learned so much more." He leaned in to return her kiss from earlier. "Now I'm ready to be in love, I don't think I ever was before."

She smiled. "I don't know if I'm ready or not. I guess we'll found out." She laughed softly. "Teenagers always believe they know everything. That hasn't changed and I doubt it ever will." She rested her head back on his chest, wondering what question she should ask next. "What did you do for your first date?"

He nodded, "I hope so. We'll just have to see how it goes and roll with whatever comes our way." He grinned widely, "We were invincible when we were young. And we did know everything. It was the best of times." He stroked her hair and pondered her next question. He shook his head, "I honestly can't remember. I think we had a dance together and dinner. But that was it. How was yours?"

She tried not to smile. "We went to one of the national parks, walked around, talked about everything, and I can't say if I remember having dinner." She sat up and looked at him. "Do you miss being on Earth? I know that the holodeck can do whatever you want it to, but it's just not the same." She looked down at her hands, and sighed. She had already told him stuff, so why did she have to ask if he missed Earth. Every human as far as she knew miss Earth from time to time. She didn't even bother to wait for him to respond. "Favorite dating activity?" She needed the mood to be light or she'd start crying again.

He pondered her question, still lying on the bed looking up at her. "I don't really know. I mean I guess sometimes I do a little bit. But after I graduated there was nothing left for me on Earth. I had no family, nowhere to go and no one to see or talk to. I could have met random strangers but..I thought maybe the stars were where I could find my calling." He sighed softly and went to her next one very quickly, "I haven't honestly been on too many dates, and of those they were mostly dinner. Sometimes there were other things after dinner, but usually that's all it was. This will be a whole new experience for me. I want to do things with you. I don't even care what they are. We can go rock climbing or scuba diving or anything you can wish to do, the holodecks will provide. I think my favorite date though was one girl, all she wanted to do was play chess to see if I was a worthy perspective "mate". Needless to say, she beat me easily three games in a row. After that she left, but I learned a lot, and had fun playing something I never really had before."

She nodded. "I don't like chess, so you're going to need to find a friend that will play with you." She still hadn't looked up from her hands. "Well you know about my parents, so I probably need to explain my missing of Earth. I just like nature, a lot. Earth, along with many other planets, are just beautiful and full of life. If I had my way, I wouldn't have left. Sorry, but I'm just miss Earth. I'm here because this is what my parents wanted. I still did what they wanted even after they disowned me. I guess this sort of proves that I still care what my parents think." She sighed and look at him. "Let's have a light subject. What are some of your favorite activities?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe I'll ask the Captain about it. Chess is a good way to learn about people, and an excellent teacher of strategy. It's quite an efficient tool." He looked at her, "That's one of the reasons you wanted to leave, wasn't it? To go home, to see life and love and live in a beautiful world. I can understand that." He thought about her second statement before answering her next question, "Well we went over my primary polo hobby. Other than that I don't get a whole lot of time off duty to expand my retinue of hobbies. Though I did always enjoy creating rockets and flying kites as a child. I will have to try that again in the holodeck. What do you like to do?"

She smiled. "I never got the chance to fly a kite. I guess I missed out." She thought about what she liked to do. "Ballroom, reading, sleeping, modeling - which is a hobby that I can't do right now, turning the holodeck into an old movie theater and watching the classics. The last one is my favorite. Though I do watch the old films in my quarters sometimes. All depends on rather or not I want to walk to the holodeck." She wondered what to ask him next. "I'm sorry but I have to ask this. Have you seen some classics films? When I say classic, I mean The Godfather or Gone with the Wind." She needed to know if she had to educate him on classic films.

He laughed softly, "Indeed you did. We will have to change that. It's a very thrilling experience, even if you know in the back of your head that it isn't real." He nodded, "I enjoy dancing, reading and sleeping as well. Though the first is something I'm still working on." He shook his head awaiting her disappointment, "No they didn't have a class on classic film in the Academy and my father would have rathered me study physics than have any sort of free time to exercise any hobby or passion that wasn't a hard science or mathematics related activity. You will have to show me. Perhaps that can be another one of our dates."
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Alyssa Shields
Lieutenant (Y)
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Join date : 2011-10-28
Age : 27

PostSubject: Re: Alyssa/Kalen    Wed Feb 15, 2012 11:51 pm

||USS Fenris
||Kalen's Quarters
||1550

Alyssa didn't even bother to go to her quarters, but went straight for Kalen's. She was upset and needed to be as far away from her cousin as possible. She stood outside his quarters. She swallowed her pride, and pressed the door chime, more than once. She had already decided that if he wasn't in his quarters, she would wait.

Kalen awoke from his half nap and yawned, stretching. He had taken off his uniform and pulled on some jeans and a polo and went to answer the door. He figured it was Alyssa, but he still wasn't quite sure what to say or do. It was such an interesting push and pull for them, he was just happy to be in the moment with her. He opened the door to see her and she looked very upset. He had wondered what had happened in the last few hours, since she had probably not slept as much as she wanted by the looks of things. He didn't say anything, he just pulled her into his arms and held her tight, letting her know that he would protect her if he could from whatever was upsetting her.

She hugged him back. Tears began to slide down her face. She couldn't handle keeping things bottled up anymore. And she wanted to stay more than anything. She wanted to know where this relationship would go and at this moment, she had no choice but to tell him everything. Well... mostly everything. There were a few things she would leave out if she could control herself. Right now, all she wanted was to cry and tell him everything.

He stood in his doorway with her, just holding her. He pulled her back further and wished his quarters had some more furniture in them. They were pretty much standard, chairs and a replicator and a bed. That was really just about it. He would need to get some sort of couch at some point if he kept entertaining people. For the moment though, he could think of nothing better so he walked with her and sat her down on the bed. "Don't get any funny ideas." He smiled at her and winked, sitting down next to her. He wiped her tears away and wrapped his arm around her again, rubbing her shoulder and holding her close. "What happened, Alyssa?" He felt after having a first date, using her first name was appropriate now. He hoped she would agree.

She breathed. She didn't know if she could do this. "My parents want to talk to me. And Lydia, my cousin who's the new counselor, won't drop the subject. My parents are separated and both told me flat out that I was disowned. This happened at the end of my first year at the academy. I went on a illegal spree after that happened for like six months. No one knew where I was or what I had done. It's good that I was able to get my criminal record sealed, before I went back for my second year at the academy." She breathed again, as more tears fell. The memories of that day were still too painful. "I was missing for a year, and my parents didn't care." She sobbed. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm dead to them." She buried her face into his shoulder, and cried. This was the first time she had said it out loud and it hurt.

He held her tight and stroked her hair and her back, just content to be there to comfort her. He listened to her woes but could only relate in the slightest. "My father always tried to get me to become a younger, smaller version of himself. In all of our interactions, it seemed that all he wanted was a clone. But I didn't want to be a clone, so I rebelled, like you. After doing my own adventuring of that sort, I too tried to return home. But the trouble was, there wasn't a home to return to. I found out when I went back that my parents had been killed just weeks before that. I hadn't ever gotten to show my father what I had accomplished in Starfleet. He died thinking I was a degenerate and a fool. You have an idea how much that can hurt. Alyssa, talk to your parents. Because one day they'll be gone, and you'll always regret not saying anything. Trust me...I know." He wiped a tear away from his face and sighed softly, resting his head against hers as she cried into his shoulder. "I know it will be hard. But they still love you. I will come with you to talk to them however you please if you want." He smiled softly and kissed her cheek. "If there's anything I can do to smooth this over and help you, I won't waver from standing by your side."

She shook her head. She knew and understood that he was trying, but she didn't want to. They told her, she was dead to them, making it so that she believed them to be dead as well. It had been too long to make things work or right. It also didn't help that she went and did what they wanted her to do anyways. "I can't." She whispered. She didn't know how to explain that her parents used her against each other, and that their separation had been since she was ten. Plus her parents hated each other and hated her even more. Her dad had learned that she was different from both of them, and tried to fix things a few years back, except she was into too much pain and too closed off for her dad to be able to do anything. "I just... can't." She whispered again. She hoped that he would understand that, but knew that was most unlikely. "I'm dead to them and they're dead to me. It hurts too much. Frankly, I don't believe that they want to speak to me. Ever since I can remember they've used me against each other, and told me often that they hate me. My mom even said that she wished she hadn't had me. I knew that I was unwanted and unloved by the time I was twelve. Just because my parents separated when I was ten, didn't mean anything. They use everyone they come in contact with. I want nothing to do with them." She pushed her face into his shoulder. She cried more. She was having a hard time believing that she was actually telling him this, and that her parents were on speaking term with each other.

He frowned slightly but accepted her reasoning. He was sure he wasn't aware of the full situation, but from how it sounded, it seemed like she was far too wounded to ever consider reconciliation. Perhaps with time and his help she could reach a point where she could talk to her parents again. But he wouldn't press the issue. He didn't know very much about these kinds of things. The people whom he got close to in his past had a nasty habit of dying. He was changing that with this ship though. He wouldn't let that happen here though. He considered all her comments silently. Sometimes the best thing to say wasn't to say anything at all. He just hugged her tight and wondered what spurred this sudden interest in talking to their daughter if her parents didn't like each other as much as she believed and didn't like her even more. He was curious, but he wouldn't interfere in her family life.

She pulled away from him, and wiped her face. She was trying to stop crying. "Sorry for telling you all of that. I just didn't think I could handle it anymore. If you want to know more, I'm sure Lydia would be more than happy to tell you. She'll probably get you to help with whatever plan she has. She wants me to talk to them too." She knew being alone was a dangerous thing, but she didn't want to ruin his night or their relationship by staying. She was already afraid that she had ruin their relationship by telling him about her parents and part of her past. She was more afraid of doing something stupid than anything else. Then realization hit her. They were sitting on his bed. She swallowed and closed her eyes. "You may want to think about getting a couch." She had to keep telling herself to breath, and to fight back the tears that were still coming.

He sighed softly and cupped her cheek with his palm, "Alyssa, I want to be open and honest with you and I want the same in return. Don't ever apologize for telling me things. Especially if they're things that hurt you. I want to be here for you, to help you deal with that pain. I won't betray your trust or try to get you to do something you don't want to. I was just making a suggestion. I wouldn't ever deem to know what's best for you. You know what's best, and I will always be on your side in that." He chuckled softly, "You know? I was just thinking about that earlier. I will have to replicate one or something. I would like you to keep coming back. I want you to feel just as welcome as you would in your own quarters. I have nothing to hide from you." He smiled softly and leaned in, kissing her forehead. "You don't have to go if you're not ready. I'm still here if you want to keep talking. You won't scare me away, Alyssa."

She looked into his eyes. "Kalen, I don't know how to trust someone. I've always been betrayed. I barely talk to my cousins, and they're the family members that I keep in contact with. You've manage to find out about my parents when they don't even know. Lydia would literally kill to know what you know." She had to close her eyes again and breath. "How can you betray my trust when I don't even know how to give it? And how can you say that I won't scare you away? I came to you because I'm afraid I'll do something stupid." She shook her head, then rested it on his chest. "I don't know even know why I told." She knew that the tears were sliding down her cheeks again, but this time she didn't care. She wanted to know what he thought about all of this, and why he's bothering to let her stay. She couldn't even figure out why she was staying.

He looked right back at her before she broke eye contact and held her close again. "Well I will do my best to never let you question me. I won't betray you. Already you've put things in my hands and that's where they will stay until you say otherwise. I appreciate how much you care and trust me, and I feel the same way in return." He shook his head, "I won't tell her. Not a word from my lips, I promise." He smiled softly and ran his fingers through her hair. "I can say you won't scare me away because there is nothing in heaven or on earth you can say that would put me in a place where being with you wasn't my top priority. I see that so clearly that there is nothing to even cast a shadow of doubt in my mind." He laid back with her, not for any physical activity, just to put his back on something. It had started to twinge and he needed to not sit up for a moment or two. "I won't let you go until you tell me to. I'm committed to this relationship, and I'm not going anywhere. I care so much about you Alyssa, and unless you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel the same way, I won't ever stop."

She couldn't help but feel that he was right. "Okay. Thanks for promising. Lydia and her family just got patched up. I don't want them to know." She laid there with him. It felt natural and it reminded her that her body was getting close to falling asleep. She yawned. She knew that either they keep talking or she was going to sleep. She sighed. "I lied." She bit her lower lip, as she listened to his breathing. "I've got one memory of my parents that is happy. Well, it was when I was five. But we were happy. I don't remember where we were, but I remember that it was a lake. We have or had, I don't know if my parents still own it, a cabin/huge house by a lake. We went there one summer, when I was five. It was just the three of us. My parents had taken a week off of work to spend time with me. It was the first summer that I learned how to swim. My dad was teaching me while my mom attempted to make us lunch. My mom can't cook. It was the only time I can remember them not fighting. That one week during the summer. By the way, I'm a terrible swimmer. I know all that's needed to survive." She laughed softly before yawning again. She'd stop crying, but her body was overly tired.

He smiled again, "You're welcome. Like I said, I'd do anything for you. I wouldn't jeopardize your relationship with your cousin. It's important to you, I can see that." He pondered what she said for a moment, and the only thing that came to mind was a flippant joke, so he decided to try to lighten the mood a little. "Well I guess that means you won't come play water polo with me then, now doesn't it?" He grinned at her and returned to his own memories of his family. His father pushing him to be better, to know more. To be everything he could be. Well he was striving for it now. He would be everything that he could be and he would be that way with her. "That's a good memory. Hold on to it. Maybe one day if you're ever ready to talk to them again, that memory will help you know what to say. Not saying you have to, but if you want to you always can." She was yawning, but he wasn't terribly tired having woken up from a nap. "You can sleep here if you want to Alyssa, I won't leave you if you don't want me to. I'll be here when you wake up, and tomorrow will be just as good of a day as today."

"I wouldn't call today a good day. It was a good day gone wrong that end with me here." She yawned again. "I might take you up on your offer. With me yawning so much. I would play water polo, but I don't know how." She admitted. She liked trying new things, and she wouldn't mind doing something he'd enjoy, even if it meant that she had to learn it. Which would be interesting to see. She moved into a position that allowed her to see his face. "No offense, but could we discuss something that isn't my family?" She knew that she probably looked terrible since she had been crying for most of their chat, but she didn't care. She liked the fact that he was allowing her to stay and willing to be there.

He chuckled, "Well alas despite your trials and troubles, I think it was a good day. I got to spend the majority of it with you." He shrugged his shoulders, "There is plenty of time for all that. We have all the time we need to do whatever we want." He ran a hand over her forehead and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, "Certainly. What do you want to talk about? I'll answer any questions you have. Though with my limited time on the ship, I'm afraid I don't have very many interesting stories quite yet." He pondered for a moment or three to try to think of anything he hadn't told her yet. His life seemed rather bland and boring short of his two traumatic experiences. Those were the only two stories he could think of to tell.

She did something that he wasn't excepting. She kissed him. "When was your first kiss?" She was curious to know, and he had said to ask him anything. So she was going to take advantage of that. Even if it did get he into a little bit of trouble. She was will to risk it and it was the first question that came to mind.

He smiled softly after she pulled away from the kiss. He pondered her question for a moment, "My first kiss was when I was fifteen. You remember how it was as a teenager. All awkward and such." He laughed, remembering that day. It wasn't incredibly important, not like this was. This was special and he knew that in his heart. "It wasn't anything special, we were just young and thought we knew everything about love. But now, I've learned so much more." He leaned in to return her kiss from earlier. "Now I'm ready to be in love, I don't think I ever was before."

She smiled. "I don't know if I'm ready or not. I guess we'll found out." She laughed softly. "Teenagers always believe they know everything. That hasn't changed and I doubt it ever will." She rested her head back on his chest, wondering what question she should ask next. "What did you do for your first date?"

He nodded, "I hope so. We'll just have to see how it goes and roll with whatever comes our way." He grinned widely, "We were invincible when we were young. And we did know everything. It was the best of times." He stroked her hair and pondered her next question. He shook his head, "I honestly can't remember. I think we had a dance together and dinner. But that was it. How was yours?"

She tried not to smile. "We went to one of the national parks, walked around, talked about everything, and I can't say if I remember having dinner." She sat up and looked at him. "Do you miss being on Earth? I know that the holodeck can do whatever you want it to, but it's just not the same." She looked down at her hands, and sighed. She had already told him stuff, so why did she have to ask if he missed Earth. Every human as far as she knew miss Earth from time to time. She didn't even bother to wait for him to respond. "Favorite dating activity?" She needed the mood to be light or she'd start crying again.

He pondered her question, still lying on the bed looking up at her. "I don't really know. I mean I guess sometimes I do a little bit. But after I graduated there was nothing left for me on Earth. I had no family, nowhere to go and no one to see or talk to. I could have met random strangers but..I thought maybe the stars were where I could find my calling." He sighed softly and went to her next one very quickly, "I haven't honestly been on too many dates, and of those they were mostly dinner. Sometimes there were other things after dinner, but usually that's all it was. This will be a whole new experience for me. I want to do things with you. I don't even care what they are. We can go rock climbing or scuba diving or anything you can wish to do, the holodecks will provide. I think my favorite date though was one girl, all she wanted to do was play chess to see if I was a worthy perspective "mate". Needless to say, she beat me easily three games in a row. After that she left, but I learned a lot, and had fun playing something I never really had before."

She nodded. "I don't like chess, so you're going to need to find a friend that will play with you." She still hadn't looked up from her hands. "Well you know about my parents, so I probably need to explain my missing of Earth. I just like nature, a lot. Earth, along with many other planets, are just beautiful and full of life. If I had my way, I wouldn't have left. Sorry, but I'm just miss Earth. I'm here because this is what my parents wanted. I still did what they wanted even after they disowned me. I guess this sort of proves that I still care what my parents think." She sighed and look at him. "Let's have a light subject. What are some of your favorite activities?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe I'll ask the Captain about it. Chess is a good way to learn about people, and an excellent teacher of strategy. It's quite an efficient tool." He looked at her, "That's one of the reasons you wanted to leave, wasn't it? To go home, to see life and love and live in a beautiful world. I can understand that." He thought about her second statement before answering her next question, "Well we went over my primary polo hobby. Other than that I don't get a whole lot of time off duty to expand my retinue of hobbies. Though I did always enjoy creating rockets and flying kites as a child. I will have to try that again in the holodeck. What do you like to do?"

She smiled. "I never got the chance to fly a kite. I guess I missed out." She thought about what she liked to do. "Ballroom, reading, sleeping, modeling - which is a hobby that I can't do right now, turning the holodeck into an old movie theater and watching the classics. The last one is my favorite. Though I do watch the old films in my quarters sometimes. All depends on rather or not I want to walk to the holodeck." She wondered what to ask him next. "I'm sorry but I have to ask this. Have you seen some classics films? When I say classic, I mean The Godfather or Gone with the Wind." She needed to know if she had to educate him on classic films.

He laughed softly, "Indeed you did. We will have to change that. It's a very thrilling experience, even if you know in the back of your head that it isn't real." He nodded, "I enjoy dancing, reading and sleeping as well. Though the first is something I'm still working on." He shook his head awaiting her disappointment, "No they didn't have a class on classic film in the Academy and my father would have rathered me study physics than have any sort of free time to exercise any hobby or passion that wasn't a hard science or mathematics related activity. You will have to show me. Perhaps that can be another one of our dates."

She was stunned. "I feel like I need to hurt your father, but I can't. Classic films. I can totally make that science or mathematical related. I'm so sad that you never got to enjoy classic films. Several of our dates will be watching classic films. There's so many of them, that I'm really going to need to pick and choose which ones that you have to see. And I would love to fly kites since you say that I've missed out." She knew that she probably offend him by saying that she felt like hurting his dad, but she couldn't help not saying it. "As for the dancing, If you're willing I'd be more than happy to teach you. I'm sorry for saying what I did about your father. I know that if I knew him, I'd probably understand a bit better. Did... never mind. So you had to study math and science. Two subjects that I'm not that good in. I think that'll be my reason for not playing chess with you. Besides the fact that I suck at it. If you don't believe me, I can give you the contact information on my Academy roommate who plays chess all the time. She's actually very good." She figured that this wasn't making the situation better since her comment about his dad. She really didn't mean to sound so surprised or insult his family. "I forget that everyone grows up differently." She didn't know what else to say.
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Kalen Gespard
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PostSubject: Re: Alyssa/Kalen    Thu Feb 16, 2012 2:50 am

||USS Fenris
||Kalen's Quarters
||1550

Alyssa didn't even bother to go to her quarters, but went straight for Kalen's. She was upset and needed to be as far away from her cousin as possible. She stood outside his quarters. She swallowed her pride, and pressed the door chime, more than once. She had already decided that if he wasn't in his quarters, she would wait.

Kalen awoke from his half nap and yawned, stretching. He had taken off his uniform and pulled on some jeans and a polo and went to answer the door. He figured it was Alyssa, but he still wasn't quite sure what to say or do. It was such an interesting push and pull for them, he was just happy to be in the moment with her. He opened the door to see her and she looked very upset. He had wondered what had happened in the last few hours, since she had probably not slept as much as she wanted by the looks of things. He didn't say anything, he just pulled her into his arms and held her tight, letting her know that he would protect her if he could from whatever was upsetting her.

She hugged him back. Tears began to slide down her face. She couldn't handle keeping things bottled up anymore. And she wanted to stay more than anything. She wanted to know where this relationship would go and at this moment, she had no choice but to tell him everything. Well... mostly everything. There were a few things she would leave out if she could control herself. Right now, all she wanted was to cry and tell him everything.

He stood in his doorway with her, just holding her. He pulled her back further and wished his quarters had some more furniture in them. They were pretty much standard, chairs and a replicator and a bed. That was really just about it. He would need to get some sort of couch at some point if he kept entertaining people. For the moment though, he could think of nothing better so he walked with her and sat her down on the bed. "Don't get any funny ideas." He smiled at her and winked, sitting down next to her. He wiped her tears away and wrapped his arm around her again, rubbing her shoulder and holding her close. "What happened, Alyssa?" He felt after having a first date, using her first name was appropriate now. He hoped she would agree.

She breathed. She didn't know if she could do this. "My parents want to talk to me. And Lydia, my cousin who's the new counselor, won't drop the subject. My parents are separated and both told me flat out that I was disowned. This happened at the end of my first year at the academy. I went on a illegal spree after that happened for like six months. No one knew where I was or what I had done. It's good that I was able to get my criminal record sealed, before I went back for my second year at the academy." She breathed again, as more tears fell. The memories of that day were still too painful. "I was missing for a year, and my parents didn't care." She sobbed. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm dead to them." She buried her face into his shoulder, and cried. This was the first time she had said it out loud and it hurt.

He held her tight and stroked her hair and her back, just content to be there to comfort her. He listened to her woes but could only relate in the slightest. "My father always tried to get me to become a younger, smaller version of himself. In all of our interactions, it seemed that all he wanted was a clone. But I didn't want to be a clone, so I rebelled, like you. After doing my own adventuring of that sort, I too tried to return home. But the trouble was, there wasn't a home to return to. I found out when I went back that my parents had been killed just weeks before that. I hadn't ever gotten to show my father what I had accomplished in Starfleet. He died thinking I was a degenerate and a fool. You have an idea how much that can hurt. Alyssa, talk to your parents. Because one day they'll be gone, and you'll always regret not saying anything. Trust me...I know." He wiped a tear away from his face and sighed softly, resting his head against hers as she cried into his shoulder. "I know it will be hard. But they still love you. I will come with you to talk to them however you please if you want." He smiled softly and kissed her cheek. "If there's anything I can do to smooth this over and help you, I won't waver from standing by your side."

She shook her head. She knew and understood that he was trying, but she didn't want to. They told her, she was dead to them, making it so that she believed them to be dead as well. It had been too long to make things work or right. It also didn't help that she went and did what they wanted her to do anyways. "I can't." She whispered. She didn't know how to explain that her parents used her against each other, and that their separation had been since she was ten. Plus her parents hated each other and hated her even more. Her dad had learned that she was different from both of them, and tried to fix things a few years back, except she was into too much pain and too closed off for her dad to be able to do anything. "I just... can't." She whispered again. She hoped that he would understand that, but knew that was most unlikely. "I'm dead to them and they're dead to me. It hurts too much. Frankly, I don't believe that they want to speak to me. Ever since I can remember they've used me against each other, and told me often that they hate me. My mom even said that she wished she hadn't had me. I knew that I was unwanted and unloved by the time I was twelve. Just because my parents separated when I was ten, didn't mean anything. They use everyone they come in contact with. I want nothing to do with them." She pushed her face into his shoulder. She cried more. She was having a hard time believing that she was actually telling him this, and that her parents were on speaking term with each other.

He frowned slightly but accepted her reasoning. He was sure he wasn't aware of the full situation, but from how it sounded, it seemed like she was far too wounded to ever consider reconciliation. Perhaps with time and his help she could reach a point where she could talk to her parents again. But he wouldn't press the issue. He didn't know very much about these kinds of things. The people whom he got close to in his past had a nasty habit of dying. He was changing that with this ship though. He wouldn't let that happen here though. He considered all her comments silently. Sometimes the best thing to say wasn't to say anything at all. He just hugged her tight and wondered what spurred this sudden interest in talking to their daughter if her parents didn't like each other as much as she believed and didn't like her even more. He was curious, but he wouldn't interfere in her family life.

She pulled away from him, and wiped her face. She was trying to stop crying. "Sorry for telling you all of that. I just didn't think I could handle it anymore. If you want to know more, I'm sure Lydia would be more than happy to tell you. She'll probably get you to help with whatever plan she has. She wants me to talk to them too." She knew being alone was a dangerous thing, but she didn't want to ruin his night or their relationship by staying. She was already afraid that she had ruin their relationship by telling him about her parents and part of her past. She was more afraid of doing something stupid than anything else. Then realization hit her. They were sitting on his bed. She swallowed and closed her eyes. "You may want to think about getting a couch." She had to keep telling herself to breath, and to fight back the tears that were still coming.

He sighed softly and cupped her cheek with his palm, "Alyssa, I want to be open and honest with you and I want the same in return. Don't ever apologize for telling me things. Especially if they're things that hurt you. I want to be here for you, to help you deal with that pain. I won't betray your trust or try to get you to do something you don't want to. I was just making a suggestion. I wouldn't ever deem to know what's best for you. You know what's best, and I will always be on your side in that." He chuckled softly, "You know? I was just thinking about that earlier. I will have to replicate one or something. I would like you to keep coming back. I want you to feel just as welcome as you would in your own quarters. I have nothing to hide from you." He smiled softly and leaned in, kissing her forehead. "You don't have to go if you're not ready. I'm still here if you want to keep talking. You won't scare me away, Alyssa."

She looked into his eyes. "Kalen, I don't know how to trust someone. I've always been betrayed. I barely talk to my cousins, and they're the family members that I keep in contact with. You've manage to find out about my parents when they don't even know. Lydia would literally kill to know what you know." She had to close her eyes again and breath. "How can you betray my trust when I don't even know how to give it? And how can you say that I won't scare you away? I came to you because I'm afraid I'll do something stupid." She shook her head, then rested it on his chest. "I don't know even know why I told." She knew that the tears were sliding down her cheeks again, but this time she didn't care. She wanted to know what he thought about all of this, and why he's bothering to let her stay. She couldn't even figure out why she was staying.

He looked right back at her before she broke eye contact and held her close again. "Well I will do my best to never let you question me. I won't betray you. Already you've put things in my hands and that's where they will stay until you say otherwise. I appreciate how much you care and trust me, and I feel the same way in return." He shook his head, "I won't tell her. Not a word from my lips, I promise." He smiled softly and ran his fingers through her hair. "I can say you won't scare me away because there is nothing in heaven or on earth you can say that would put me in a place where being with you wasn't my top priority. I see that so clearly that there is nothing to even cast a shadow of doubt in my mind." He laid back with her, not for any physical activity, just to put his back on something. It had started to twinge and he needed to not sit up for a moment or two. "I won't let you go until you tell me to. I'm committed to this relationship, and I'm not going anywhere. I care so much about you Alyssa, and unless you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel the same way, I won't ever stop."

She couldn't help but feel that he was right. "Okay. Thanks for promising. Lydia and her family just got patched up. I don't want them to know." She laid there with him. It felt natural and it reminded her that her body was getting close to falling asleep. She yawned. She knew that either they keep talking or she was going to sleep. She sighed. "I lied." She bit her lower lip, as she listened to his breathing. "I've got one memory of my parents that is happy. Well, it was when I was five. But we were happy. I don't remember where we were, but I remember that it was a lake. We have or had, I don't know if my parents still own it, a cabin/huge house by a lake. We went there one summer, when I was five. It was just the three of us. My parents had taken a week off of work to spend time with me. It was the first summer that I learned how to swim. My dad was teaching me while my mom attempted to make us lunch. My mom can't cook. It was the only time I can remember them not fighting. That one week during the summer. By the way, I'm a terrible swimmer. I know all that's needed to survive." She laughed softly before yawning again. She'd stop crying, but her body was overly tired.

He smiled again, "You're welcome. Like I said, I'd do anything for you. I wouldn't jeopardize your relationship with your cousin. It's important to you, I can see that." He pondered what she said for a moment, and the only thing that came to mind was a flippant joke, so he decided to try to lighten the mood a little. "Well I guess that means you won't come play water polo with me then, now doesn't it?" He grinned at her and returned to his own memories of his family. His father pushing him to be better, to know more. To be everything he could be. Well he was striving for it now. He would be everything that he could be and he would be that way with her. "That's a good memory. Hold on to it. Maybe one day if you're ever ready to talk to them again, that memory will help you know what to say. Not saying you have to, but if you want to you always can." She was yawning, but he wasn't terribly tired having woken up from a nap. "You can sleep here if you want to Alyssa, I won't leave you if you don't want me to. I'll be here when you wake up, and tomorrow will be just as good of a day as today."

"I wouldn't call today a good day. It was a good day gone wrong that end with me here." She yawned again. "I might take you up on your offer. With me yawning so much. I would play water polo, but I don't know how." She admitted. She liked trying new things, and she wouldn't mind doing something he'd enjoy, even if it meant that she had to learn it. Which would be interesting to see. She moved into a position that allowed her to see his face. "No offense, but could we discuss something that isn't my family?" She knew that she probably looked terrible since she had been crying for most of their chat, but she didn't care. She liked the fact that he was allowing her to stay and willing to be there.

He chuckled, "Well alas despite your trials and troubles, I think it was a good day. I got to spend the majority of it with you." He shrugged his shoulders, "There is plenty of time for all that. We have all the time we need to do whatever we want." He ran a hand over her forehead and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, "Certainly. What do you want to talk about? I'll answer any questions you have. Though with my limited time on the ship, I'm afraid I don't have very many interesting stories quite yet." He pondered for a moment or three to try to think of anything he hadn't told her yet. His life seemed rather bland and boring short of his two traumatic experiences. Those were the only two stories he could think of to tell.

She did something that he wasn't excepting. She kissed him. "When was your first kiss?" She was curious to know, and he had said to ask him anything. So she was going to take advantage of that. Even if it did get he into a little bit of trouble. She was will to risk it and it was the first question that came to mind.

He smiled softly after she pulled away from the kiss. He pondered her question for a moment, "My first kiss was when I was fifteen. You remember how it was as a teenager. All awkward and such." He laughed, remembering that day. It wasn't incredibly important, not like this was. This was special and he knew that in his heart. "It wasn't anything special, we were just young and thought we knew everything about love. But now, I've learned so much more." He leaned in to return her kiss from earlier. "Now I'm ready to be in love, I don't think I ever was before."

She smiled. "I don't know if I'm ready or not. I guess we'll found out." She laughed softly. "Teenagers always believe they know everything. That hasn't changed and I doubt it ever will." She rested her head back on his chest, wondering what question she should ask next. "What did you do for your first date?"

He nodded, "I hope so. We'll just have to see how it goes and roll with whatever comes our way." He grinned widely, "We were invincible when we were young. And we did know everything. It was the best of times." He stroked her hair and pondered her next question. He shook his head, "I honestly can't remember. I think we had a dance together and dinner. But that was it. How was yours?"

She tried not to smile. "We went to one of the national parks, walked around, talked about everything, and I can't say if I remember having dinner." She sat up and looked at him. "Do you miss being on Earth? I know that the holodeck can do whatever you want it to, but it's just not the same." She looked down at her hands, and sighed. She had already told him stuff, so why did she have to ask if he missed Earth. Every human as far as she knew miss Earth from time to time. She didn't even bother to wait for him to respond. "Favorite dating activity?" She needed the mood to be light or she'd start crying again.

He pondered her question, still lying on the bed looking up at her. "I don't really know. I mean I guess sometimes I do a little bit. But after I graduated there was nothing left for me on Earth. I had no family, nowhere to go and no one to see or talk to. I could have met random strangers but..I thought maybe the stars were where I could find my calling." He sighed softly and went to her next one very quickly, "I haven't honestly been on too many dates, and of those they were mostly dinner. Sometimes there were other things after dinner, but usually that's all it was. This will be a whole new experience for me. I want to do things with you. I don't even care what they are. We can go rock climbing or scuba diving or anything you can wish to do, the holodecks will provide. I think my favorite date though was one girl, all she wanted to do was play chess to see if I was a worthy perspective "mate". Needless to say, she beat me easily three games in a row. After that she left, but I learned a lot, and had fun playing something I never really had before."

She nodded. "I don't like chess, so you're going to need to find a friend that will play with you." She still hadn't looked up from her hands. "Well you know about my parents, so I probably need to explain my missing of Earth. I just like nature, a lot. Earth, along with many other planets, are just beautiful and full of life. If I had my way, I wouldn't have left. Sorry, but I'm just miss Earth. I'm here because this is what my parents wanted. I still did what they wanted even after they disowned me. I guess this sort of proves that I still care what my parents think." She sighed and look at him. "Let's have a light subject. What are some of your favorite activities?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe I'll ask the Captain about it. Chess is a good way to learn about people, and an excellent teacher of strategy. It's quite an efficient tool." He looked at her, "That's one of the reasons you wanted to leave, wasn't it? To go home, to see life and love and live in a beautiful world. I can understand that." He thought about her second statement before answering her next question, "Well we went over my primary polo hobby. Other than that I don't get a whole lot of time off duty to expand my retinue of hobbies. Though I did always enjoy creating rockets and flying kites as a child. I will have to try that again in the holodeck. What do you like to do?"

She smiled. "I never got the chance to fly a kite. I guess I missed out." She thought about what she liked to do. "Ballroom, reading, sleeping, modeling - which is a hobby that I can't do right now, turning the holodeck into an old movie theater and watching the classics. The last one is my favorite. Though I do watch the old films in my quarters sometimes. All depends on rather or not I want to walk to the holodeck." She wondered what to ask him next. "I'm sorry but I have to ask this. Have you seen some classics films? When I say classic, I mean The Godfather or Gone with the Wind." She needed to know if she had to educate him on classic films.

He laughed softly, "Indeed you did. We will have to change that. It's a very thrilling experience, even if you know in the back of your head that it isn't real." He nodded, "I enjoy dancing, reading and sleeping as well. Though the first is something I'm still working on." He shook his head awaiting her disappointment, "No they didn't have a class on classic film in the Academy and my father would have rathered me study physics than have any sort of free time to exercise any hobby or passion that wasn't a hard science or mathematics related activity. You will have to show me. Perhaps that can be another one of our dates."

She was stunned. "I feel like I need to hurt your father, but I can't. Classic films. I can totally make that science or mathematical related. I'm so sad that you never got to enjoy classic films. Several of our dates will be watching classic films. There's so many of them, that I'm really going to need to pick and choose which ones that you have to see. And I would love to fly kites since you say that I've missed out." She knew that she probably offend him by saying that she felt like hurting his dad, but she couldn't help not saying it. "As for the dancing, If you're willing I'd be more than happy to teach you. I'm sorry for saying what I did about your father. I know that if I knew him, I'd probably understand a bit better. Did... never mind. So you had to study math and science. Two subjects that I'm not that good in. I think that'll be my reason for not playing chess with you. Besides the fact that I suck at it. If you don't believe me, I can give you the contact information on my Academy roommate who plays chess all the time. She's actually very good." She figured that this wasn't making the situation better since her comment about his dad. She really didn't mean to sound so surprised or insult his family. "I forget that everyone grows up differently." She didn't know what else to say.

He chuckled softly, "He was respected. But that doesn't hardly go hand in hand with being well liked. I think most of his friends wanted to do him physical harm at one point or another. But I really didn't ever know. We never had those kinds of talks." He shook his head, "Don't be offended or apologetic, you can't hurt him. Nothing can now, his memory lives on in whatever annals he has affected. But other than that..his legacy will be in his work. That is what he wanted." He smiled, "We can do all those things. There's plenty of time for everything. I won't make you play chess, I just thought about it is all when you asked." He sighed, "Well that's true. And everyone hopes to be better parents than theirs were to them. Or at least I would like to think so. I don't really know though. My mother always tried to tell me it was the way my father was with everyone. She was a kind soul. And maybe it was just the way he was. I won't ever know." He shrugged his shoulders, it was really not that important to him anymore.
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Alyssa Shields
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Join date : 2011-10-28
Age : 27

PostSubject: Re: Alyssa/Kalen    Thu Feb 16, 2012 3:27 am

||USS Fenris
||Kalen's Quarters
||1550

Alyssa didn't even bother to go to her quarters, but went straight for Kalen's. She was upset and needed to be as far away from her cousin as possible. She stood outside his quarters. She swallowed her pride, and pressed the door chime, more than once. She had already decided that if he wasn't in his quarters, she would wait.

Kalen awoke from his half nap and yawned, stretching. He had taken off his uniform and pulled on some jeans and a polo and went to answer the door. He figured it was Alyssa, but he still wasn't quite sure what to say or do. It was such an interesting push and pull for them, he was just happy to be in the moment with her. He opened the door to see her and she looked very upset. He had wondered what had happened in the last few hours, since she had probably not slept as much as she wanted by the looks of things. He didn't say anything, he just pulled her into his arms and held her tight, letting her know that he would protect her if he could from whatever was upsetting her.

She hugged him back. Tears began to slide down her face. She couldn't handle keeping things bottled up anymore. And she wanted to stay more than anything. She wanted to know where this relationship would go and at this moment, she had no choice but to tell him everything. Well... mostly everything. There were a few things she would leave out if she could control herself. Right now, all she wanted was to cry and tell him everything.

He stood in his doorway with her, just holding her. He pulled her back further and wished his quarters had some more furniture in them. They were pretty much standard, chairs and a replicator and a bed. That was really just about it. He would need to get some sort of couch at some point if he kept entertaining people. For the moment though, he could think of nothing better so he walked with her and sat her down on the bed. "Don't get any funny ideas." He smiled at her and winked, sitting down next to her. He wiped her tears away and wrapped his arm around her again, rubbing her shoulder and holding her close. "What happened, Alyssa?" He felt after having a first date, using her first name was appropriate now. He hoped she would agree.

She breathed. She didn't know if she could do this. "My parents want to talk to me. And Lydia, my cousin who's the new counselor, won't drop the subject. My parents are separated and both told me flat out that I was disowned. This happened at the end of my first year at the academy. I went on a illegal spree after that happened for like six months. No one knew where I was or what I had done. It's good that I was able to get my criminal record sealed, before I went back for my second year at the academy." She breathed again, as more tears fell. The memories of that day were still too painful. "I was missing for a year, and my parents didn't care." She sobbed. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm dead to them." She buried her face into his shoulder, and cried. This was the first time she had said it out loud and it hurt.

He held her tight and stroked her hair and her back, just content to be there to comfort her. He listened to her woes but could only relate in the slightest. "My father always tried to get me to become a younger, smaller version of himself. In all of our interactions, it seemed that all he wanted was a clone. But I didn't want to be a clone, so I rebelled, like you. After doing my own adventuring of that sort, I too tried to return home. But the trouble was, there wasn't a home to return to. I found out when I went back that my parents had been killed just weeks before that. I hadn't ever gotten to show my father what I had accomplished in Starfleet. He died thinking I was a degenerate and a fool. You have an idea how much that can hurt. Alyssa, talk to your parents. Because one day they'll be gone, and you'll always regret not saying anything. Trust me...I know." He wiped a tear away from his face and sighed softly, resting his head against hers as she cried into his shoulder. "I know it will be hard. But they still love you. I will come with you to talk to them however you please if you want." He smiled softly and kissed her cheek. "If there's anything I can do to smooth this over and help you, I won't waver from standing by your side."

She shook her head. She knew and understood that he was trying, but she didn't want to. They told her, she was dead to them, making it so that she believed them to be dead as well. It had been too long to make things work or right. It also didn't help that she went and did what they wanted her to do anyways. "I can't." She whispered. She didn't know how to explain that her parents used her against each other, and that their separation had been since she was ten. Plus her parents hated each other and hated her even more. Her dad had learned that she was different from both of them, and tried to fix things a few years back, except she was into too much pain and too closed off for her dad to be able to do anything. "I just... can't." She whispered again. She hoped that he would understand that, but knew that was most unlikely. "I'm dead to them and they're dead to me. It hurts too much. Frankly, I don't believe that they want to speak to me. Ever since I can remember they've used me against each other, and told me often that they hate me. My mom even said that she wished she hadn't had me. I knew that I was unwanted and unloved by the time I was twelve. Just because my parents separated when I was ten, didn't mean anything. They use everyone they come in contact with. I want nothing to do with them." She pushed her face into his shoulder. She cried more. She was having a hard time believing that she was actually telling him this, and that her parents were on speaking term with each other.

He frowned slightly but accepted her reasoning. He was sure he wasn't aware of the full situation, but from how it sounded, it seemed like she was far too wounded to ever consider reconciliation. Perhaps with time and his help she could reach a point where she could talk to her parents again. But he wouldn't press the issue. He didn't know very much about these kinds of things. The people whom he got close to in his past had a nasty habit of dying. He was changing that with this ship though. He wouldn't let that happen here though. He considered all her comments silently. Sometimes the best thing to say wasn't to say anything at all. He just hugged her tight and wondered what spurred this sudden interest in talking to their daughter if her parents didn't like each other as much as she believed and didn't like her even more. He was curious, but he wouldn't interfere in her family life.

She pulled away from him, and wiped her face. She was trying to stop crying. "Sorry for telling you all of that. I just didn't think I could handle it anymore. If you want to know more, I'm sure Lydia would be more than happy to tell you. She'll probably get you to help with whatever plan she has. She wants me to talk to them too." She knew being alone was a dangerous thing, but she didn't want to ruin his night or their relationship by staying. She was already afraid that she had ruin their relationship by telling him about her parents and part of her past. She was more afraid of doing something stupid than anything else. Then realization hit her. They were sitting on his bed. She swallowed and closed her eyes. "You may want to think about getting a couch." She had to keep telling herself to breath, and to fight back the tears that were still coming.

He sighed softly and cupped her cheek with his palm, "Alyssa, I want to be open and honest with you and I want the same in return. Don't ever apologize for telling me things. Especially if they're things that hurt you. I want to be here for you, to help you deal with that pain. I won't betray your trust or try to get you to do something you don't want to. I was just making a suggestion. I wouldn't ever deem to know what's best for you. You know what's best, and I will always be on your side in that." He chuckled softly, "You know? I was just thinking about that earlier. I will have to replicate one or something. I would like you to keep coming back. I want you to feel just as welcome as you would in your own quarters. I have nothing to hide from you." He smiled softly and leaned in, kissing her forehead. "You don't have to go if you're not ready. I'm still here if you want to keep talking. You won't scare me away, Alyssa."

She looked into his eyes. "Kalen, I don't know how to trust someone. I've always been betrayed. I barely talk to my cousins, and they're the family members that I keep in contact with. You've manage to find out about my parents when they don't even know. Lydia would literally kill to know what you know." She had to close her eyes again and breath. "How can you betray my trust when I don't even know how to give it? And how can you say that I won't scare you away? I came to you because I'm afraid I'll do something stupid." She shook her head, then rested it on his chest. "I don't know even know why I told." She knew that the tears were sliding down her cheeks again, but this time she didn't care. She wanted to know what he thought about all of this, and why he's bothering to let her stay. She couldn't even figure out why she was staying.

He looked right back at her before she broke eye contact and held her close again. "Well I will do my best to never let you question me. I won't betray you. Already you've put things in my hands and that's where they will stay until you say otherwise. I appreciate how much you care and trust me, and I feel the same way in return." He shook his head, "I won't tell her. Not a word from my lips, I promise." He smiled softly and ran his fingers through her hair. "I can say you won't scare me away because there is nothing in heaven or on earth you can say that would put me in a place where being with you wasn't my top priority. I see that so clearly that there is nothing to even cast a shadow of doubt in my mind." He laid back with her, not for any physical activity, just to put his back on something. It had started to twinge and he needed to not sit up for a moment or two. "I won't let you go until you tell me to. I'm committed to this relationship, and I'm not going anywhere. I care so much about you Alyssa, and unless you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel the same way, I won't ever stop."

She couldn't help but feel that he was right. "Okay. Thanks for promising. Lydia and her family just got patched up. I don't want them to know." She laid there with him. It felt natural and it reminded her that her body was getting close to falling asleep. She yawned. She knew that either they keep talking or she was going to sleep. She sighed. "I lied." She bit her lower lip, as she listened to his breathing. "I've got one memory of my parents that is happy. Well, it was when I was five. But we were happy. I don't remember where we were, but I remember that it was a lake. We have or had, I don't know if my parents still own it, a cabin/huge house by a lake. We went there one summer, when I was five. It was just the three of us. My parents had taken a week off of work to spend time with me. It was the first summer that I learned how to swim. My dad was teaching me while my mom attempted to make us lunch. My mom can't cook. It was the only time I can remember them not fighting. That one week during the summer. By the way, I'm a terrible swimmer. I know all that's needed to survive." She laughed softly before yawning again. She'd stop crying, but her body was overly tired.

He smiled again, "You're welcome. Like I said, I'd do anything for you. I wouldn't jeopardize your relationship with your cousin. It's important to you, I can see that." He pondered what she said for a moment, and the only thing that came to mind was a flippant joke, so he decided to try to lighten the mood a little. "Well I guess that means you won't come play water polo with me then, now doesn't it?" He grinned at her and returned to his own memories of his family. His father pushing him to be better, to know more. To be everything he could be. Well he was striving for it now. He would be everything that he could be and he would be that way with her. "That's a good memory. Hold on to it. Maybe one day if you're ever ready to talk to them again, that memory will help you know what to say. Not saying you have to, but if you want to you always can." She was yawning, but he wasn't terribly tired having woken up from a nap. "You can sleep here if you want to Alyssa, I won't leave you if you don't want me to. I'll be here when you wake up, and tomorrow will be just as good of a day as today."

"I wouldn't call today a good day. It was a good day gone wrong that end with me here." She yawned again. "I might take you up on your offer. With me yawning so much. I would play water polo, but I don't know how." She admitted. She liked trying new things, and she wouldn't mind doing something he'd enjoy, even if it meant that she had to learn it. Which would be interesting to see. She moved into a position that allowed her to see his face. "No offense, but could we discuss something that isn't my family?" She knew that she probably looked terrible since she had been crying for most of their chat, but she didn't care. She liked the fact that he was allowing her to stay and willing to be there.

He chuckled, "Well alas despite your trials and troubles, I think it was a good day. I got to spend the majority of it with you." He shrugged his shoulders, "There is plenty of time for all that. We have all the time we need to do whatever we want." He ran a hand over her forehead and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, "Certainly. What do you want to talk about? I'll answer any questions you have. Though with my limited time on the ship, I'm afraid I don't have very many interesting stories quite yet." He pondered for a moment or three to try to think of anything he hadn't told her yet. His life seemed rather bland and boring short of his two traumatic experiences. Those were the only two stories he could think of to tell.

She did something that he wasn't excepting. She kissed him. "When was your first kiss?" She was curious to know, and he had said to ask him anything. So she was going to take advantage of that. Even if it did get he into a little bit of trouble. She was will to risk it and it was the first question that came to mind.

He smiled softly after she pulled away from the kiss. He pondered her question for a moment, "My first kiss was when I was fifteen. You remember how it was as a teenager. All awkward and such." He laughed, remembering that day. It wasn't incredibly important, not like this was. This was special and he knew that in his heart. "It wasn't anything special, we were just young and thought we knew everything about love. But now, I've learned so much more." He leaned in to return her kiss from earlier. "Now I'm ready to be in love, I don't think I ever was before."

She smiled. "I don't know if I'm ready or not. I guess we'll found out." She laughed softly. "Teenagers always believe they know everything. That hasn't changed and I doubt it ever will." She rested her head back on his chest, wondering what question she should ask next. "What did you do for your first date?"

He nodded, "I hope so. We'll just have to see how it goes and roll with whatever comes our way." He grinned widely, "We were invincible when we were young. And we did know everything. It was the best of times." He stroked her hair and pondered her next question. He shook his head, "I honestly can't remember. I think we had a dance together and dinner. But that was it. How was yours?"

She tried not to smile. "We went to one of the national parks, walked around, talked about everything, and I can't say if I remember having dinner." She sat up and looked at him. "Do you miss being on Earth? I know that the holodeck can do whatever you want it to, but it's just not the same." She looked down at her hands, and sighed. She had already told him stuff, so why did she have to ask if he missed Earth. Every human as far as she knew miss Earth from time to time. She didn't even bother to wait for him to respond. "Favorite dating activity?" She needed the mood to be light or she'd start crying again.

He pondered her question, still lying on the bed looking up at her. "I don't really know. I mean I guess sometimes I do a little bit. But after I graduated there was nothing left for me on Earth. I had no family, nowhere to go and no one to see or talk to. I could have met random strangers but..I thought maybe the stars were where I could find my calling." He sighed softly and went to her next one very quickly, "I haven't honestly been on too many dates, and of those they were mostly dinner. Sometimes there were other things after dinner, but usually that's all it was. This will be a whole new experience for me. I want to do things with you. I don't even care what they are. We can go rock climbing or scuba diving or anything you can wish to do, the holodecks will provide. I think my favorite date though was one girl, all she wanted to do was play chess to see if I was a worthy perspective "mate". Needless to say, she beat me easily three games in a row. After that she left, but I learned a lot, and had fun playing something I never really had before."

She nodded. "I don't like chess, so you're going to need to find a friend that will play with you." She still hadn't looked up from her hands. "Well you know about my parents, so I probably need to explain my missing of Earth. I just like nature, a lot. Earth, along with many other planets, are just beautiful and full of life. If I had my way, I wouldn't have left. Sorry, but I'm just miss Earth. I'm here because this is what my parents wanted. I still did what they wanted even after they disowned me. I guess this sort of proves that I still care what my parents think." She sighed and look at him. "Let's have a light subject. What are some of your favorite activities?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe I'll ask the Captain about it. Chess is a good way to learn about people, and an excellent teacher of strategy. It's quite an efficient tool." He looked at her, "That's one of the reasons you wanted to leave, wasn't it? To go home, to see life and love and live in a beautiful world. I can understand that." He thought about her second statement before answering her next question, "Well we went over my primary polo hobby. Other than that I don't get a whole lot of time off duty to expand my retinue of hobbies. Though I did always enjoy creating rockets and flying kites as a child. I will have to try that again in the holodeck. What do you like to do?"

She smiled. "I never got the chance to fly a kite. I guess I missed out." She thought about what she liked to do. "Ballroom, reading, sleeping, modeling - which is a hobby that I can't do right now, turning the holodeck into an old movie theater and watching the classics. The last one is my favorite. Though I do watch the old films in my quarters sometimes. All depends on rather or not I want to walk to the holodeck." She wondered what to ask him next. "I'm sorry but I have to ask this. Have you seen some classics films? When I say classic, I mean The Godfather or Gone with the Wind." She needed to know if she had to educate him on classic films.

He laughed softly, "Indeed you did. We will have to change that. It's a very thrilling experience, even if you know in the back of your head that it isn't real." He nodded, "I enjoy dancing, reading and sleeping as well. Though the first is something I'm still working on." He shook his head awaiting her disappointment, "No they didn't have a class on classic film in the Academy and my father would have rathered me study physics than have any sort of free time to exercise any hobby or passion that wasn't a hard science or mathematics related activity. You will have to show me. Perhaps that can be another one of our dates."

She was stunned. "I feel like I need to hurt your father, but I can't. Classic films. I can totally make that science or mathematical related. I'm so sad that you never got to enjoy classic films. Several of our dates will be watching classic films. There's so many of them, that I'm really going to need to pick and choose which ones that you have to see. And I would love to fly kites since you say that I've missed out." She knew that she probably offend him by saying that she felt like hurting his dad, but she couldn't help not saying it. "As for the dancing, If you're willing I'd be more than happy to teach you. I'm sorry for saying what I did about your father. I know that if I knew him, I'd probably understand a bit better. Did... never mind. So you had to study math and science. Two subjects that I'm not that good in. I think that'll be my reason for not playing chess with you. Besides the fact that I suck at it. If you don't believe me, I can give you the contact information on my Academy roommate who plays chess all the time. She's actually very good." She figured that this wasn't making the situation better since her comment about his dad. She really didn't mean to sound so surprised or insult his family. "I forget that everyone grows up differently." She didn't know what else to say.

He chuckled softly, "He was respected. But that doesn't hardly go hand in hand with being well liked. I think most of his friends wanted to do him physical harm at one point or another. But I really didn't ever know. We never had those kinds of talks." He shook his head, "Don't be offended or apologetic, you can't hurt him. Nothing can now, his memory lives on in whatever annals he has affected. But other than that..his legacy will be in his work. That is what he wanted." He smiled, "We can do all those things. There's plenty of time for everything. I won't make you play chess, I just thought about it is all when you asked." He sighed, "Well that's true. And everyone hopes to be better parents than theirs were to them. Or at least I would like to think so. I don't really know though. My mother always tried to tell me it was the way my father was with everyone. She was a kind soul. And maybe it was just the way he was. I won't ever know." He shrugged his shoulders, it was really not that important to him anymore.

"Well, you'll love your parents more when you meet mine. If you ever meet mine." She rubbed her neck. "It was still wrong of me to say that. You care about your parents rather or not you realize it. Plus, you'll always have a part of them. I do, even though I wish I didn't." She look away. "I don't know if I could handle being a parent. I'll most likely turn out to be like my parents. Cold and distant." Memories of her childhood and teen years, played a crossed her mind. She felt like crying again. "No one really knows how much time we have. For all you know, I could leave tomorrow and we'll never see each other again. No one can prepare you for the future, even though we all try to anyways." She was debating rather or not to go. A strong part of her wanted her stay, but she had a dumb voice in her head telling her that none of this was going to work out and that there was no point in hoping it will.
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Kalen Gespard
Lieutenant (R)
Lieutenant (R)
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Posts : 177
Join date : 2011-12-11
Age : 29

PostSubject: Re: Alyssa/Kalen    Fri Feb 17, 2012 2:56 pm

||USS Fenris
||Kalen's Quarters
||1550

Alyssa didn't even bother to go to her quarters, but went straight for Kalen's. She was upset and needed to be as far away from her cousin as possible. She stood outside his quarters. She swallowed her pride, and pressed the door chime, more than once. She had already decided that if he wasn't in his quarters, she would wait.

Kalen awoke from his half nap and yawned, stretching. He had taken off his uniform and pulled on some jeans and a polo and went to answer the door. He figured it was Alyssa, but he still wasn't quite sure what to say or do. It was such an interesting push and pull for them, he was just happy to be in the moment with her. He opened the door to see her and she looked very upset. He had wondered what had happened in the last few hours, since she had probably not slept as much as she wanted by the looks of things. He didn't say anything, he just pulled her into his arms and held her tight, letting her know that he would protect her if he could from whatever was upsetting her.

She hugged him back. Tears began to slide down her face. She couldn't handle keeping things bottled up anymore. And she wanted to stay more than anything. She wanted to know where this relationship would go and at this moment, she had no choice but to tell him everything. Well... mostly everything. There were a few things she would leave out if she could control herself. Right now, all she wanted was to cry and tell him everything.

He stood in his doorway with her, just holding her. He pulled her back further and wished his quarters had some more furniture in them. They were pretty much standard, chairs and a replicator and a bed. That was really just about it. He would need to get some sort of couch at some point if he kept entertaining people. For the moment though, he could think of nothing better so he walked with her and sat her down on the bed. "Don't get any funny ideas." He smiled at her and winked, sitting down next to her. He wiped her tears away and wrapped his arm around her again, rubbing her shoulder and holding her close. "What happened, Alyssa?" He felt after having a first date, using her first name was appropriate now. He hoped she would agree.

She breathed. She didn't know if she could do this. "My parents want to talk to me. And Lydia, my cousin who's the new counselor, won't drop the subject. My parents are separated and both told me flat out that I was disowned. This happened at the end of my first year at the academy. I went on a illegal spree after that happened for like six months. No one knew where I was or what I had done. It's good that I was able to get my criminal record sealed, before I went back for my second year at the academy." She breathed again, as more tears fell. The memories of that day were still too painful. "I was missing for a year, and my parents didn't care." She sobbed. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm dead to them." She buried her face into his shoulder, and cried. This was the first time she had said it out loud and it hurt.

He held her tight and stroked her hair and her back, just content to be there to comfort her. He listened to her woes but could only relate in the slightest. "My father always tried to get me to become a younger, smaller version of himself. In all of our interactions, it seemed that all he wanted was a clone. But I didn't want to be a clone, so I rebelled, like you. After doing my own adventuring of that sort, I too tried to return home. But the trouble was, there wasn't a home to return to. I found out when I went back that my parents had been killed just weeks before that. I hadn't ever gotten to show my father what I had accomplished in Starfleet. He died thinking I was a degenerate and a fool. You have an idea how much that can hurt. Alyssa, talk to your parents. Because one day they'll be gone, and you'll always regret not saying anything. Trust me...I know." He wiped a tear away from his face and sighed softly, resting his head against hers as she cried into his shoulder. "I know it will be hard. But they still love you. I will come with you to talk to them however you please if you want." He smiled softly and kissed her cheek. "If there's anything I can do to smooth this over and help you, I won't waver from standing by your side."

She shook her head. She knew and understood that he was trying, but she didn't want to. They told her, she was dead to them, making it so that she believed them to be dead as well. It had been too long to make things work or right. It also didn't help that she went and did what they wanted her to do anyways. "I can't." She whispered. She didn't know how to explain that her parents used her against each other, and that their separation had been since she was ten. Plus her parents hated each other and hated her even more. Her dad had learned that she was different from both of them, and tried to fix things a few years back, except she was into too much pain and too closed off for her dad to be able to do anything. "I just... can't." She whispered again. She hoped that he would understand that, but knew that was most unlikely. "I'm dead to them and they're dead to me. It hurts too much. Frankly, I don't believe that they want to speak to me. Ever since I can remember they've used me against each other, and told me often that they hate me. My mom even said that she wished she hadn't had me. I knew that I was unwanted and unloved by the time I was twelve. Just because my parents separated when I was ten, didn't mean anything. They use everyone they come in contact with. I want nothing to do with them." She pushed her face into his shoulder. She cried more. She was having a hard time believing that she was actually telling him this, and that her parents were on speaking term with each other.

He frowned slightly but accepted her reasoning. He was sure he wasn't aware of the full situation, but from how it sounded, it seemed like she was far too wounded to ever consider reconciliation. Perhaps with time and his help she could reach a point where she could talk to her parents again. But he wouldn't press the issue. He didn't know very much about these kinds of things. The people whom he got close to in his past had a nasty habit of dying. He was changing that with this ship though. He wouldn't let that happen here though. He considered all her comments silently. Sometimes the best thing to say wasn't to say anything at all. He just hugged her tight and wondered what spurred this sudden interest in talking to their daughter if her parents didn't like each other as much as she believed and didn't like her even more. He was curious, but he wouldn't interfere in her family life.

She pulled away from him, and wiped her face. She was trying to stop crying. "Sorry for telling you all of that. I just didn't think I could handle it anymore. If you want to know more, I'm sure Lydia would be more than happy to tell you. She'll probably get you to help with whatever plan she has. She wants me to talk to them too." She knew being alone was a dangerous thing, but she didn't want to ruin his night or their relationship by staying. She was already afraid that she had ruin their relationship by telling him about her parents and part of her past. She was more afraid of doing something stupid than anything else. Then realization hit her. They were sitting on his bed. She swallowed and closed her eyes. "You may want to think about getting a couch." She had to keep telling herself to breath, and to fight back the tears that were still coming.

He sighed softly and cupped her cheek with his palm, "Alyssa, I want to be open and honest with you and I want the same in return. Don't ever apologize for telling me things. Especially if they're things that hurt you. I want to be here for you, to help you deal with that pain. I won't betray your trust or try to get you to do something you don't want to. I was just making a suggestion. I wouldn't ever deem to know what's best for you. You know what's best, and I will always be on your side in that." He chuckled softly, "You know? I was just thinking about that earlier. I will have to replicate one or something. I would like you to keep coming back. I want you to feel just as welcome as you would in your own quarters. I have nothing to hide from you." He smiled softly and leaned in, kissing her forehead. "You don't have to go if you're not ready. I'm still here if you want to keep talking. You won't scare me away, Alyssa."

She looked into his eyes. "Kalen, I don't know how to trust someone. I've always been betrayed. I barely talk to my cousins, and they're the family members that I keep in contact with. You've manage to find out about my parents when they don't even know. Lydia would literally kill to know what you know." She had to close her eyes again and breath. "How can you betray my trust when I don't even know how to give it? And how can you say that I won't scare you away? I came to you because I'm afraid I'll do something stupid." She shook her head, then rested it on his chest. "I don't know even know why I told." She knew that the tears were sliding down her cheeks again, but this time she didn't care. She wanted to know what he thought about all of this, and why he's bothering to let her stay. She couldn't even figure out why she was staying.

He looked right back at her before she broke eye contact and held her close again. "Well I will do my best to never let you question me. I won't betray you. Already you've put things in my hands and that's where they will stay until you say otherwise. I appreciate how much you care and trust me, and I feel the same way in return." He shook his head, "I won't tell her. Not a word from my lips, I promise." He smiled softly and ran his fingers through her hair. "I can say you won't scare me away because there is nothing in heaven or on earth you can say that would put me in a place where being with you wasn't my top priority. I see that so clearly that there is nothing to even cast a shadow of doubt in my mind." He laid back with her, not for any physical activity, just to put his back on something. It had started to twinge and he needed to not sit up for a moment or two. "I won't let you go until you tell me to. I'm committed to this relationship, and I'm not going anywhere. I care so much about you Alyssa, and unless you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel the same way, I won't ever stop."

She couldn't help but feel that he was right. "Okay. Thanks for promising. Lydia and her family just got patched up. I don't want them to know." She laid there with him. It felt natural and it reminded her that her body was getting close to falling asleep. She yawned. She knew that either they keep talking or she was going to sleep. She sighed. "I lied." She bit her lower lip, as she listened to his breathing. "I've got one memory of my parents that is happy. Well, it was when I was five. But we were happy. I don't remember where we were, but I remember that it was a lake. We have or had, I don't know if my parents still own it, a cabin/huge house by a lake. We went there one summer, when I was five. It was just the three of us. My parents had taken a week off of work to spend time with me. It was the first summer that I learned how to swim. My dad was teaching me while my mom attempted to make us lunch. My mom can't cook. It was the only time I can remember them not fighting. That one week during the summer. By the way, I'm a terrible swimmer. I know all that's needed to survive." She laughed softly before yawning again. She'd stop crying, but her body was overly tired.

He smiled again, "You're welcome. Like I said, I'd do anything for you. I wouldn't jeopardize your relationship with your cousin. It's important to you, I can see that." He pondered what she said for a moment, and the only thing that came to mind was a flippant joke, so he decided to try to lighten the mood a little. "Well I guess that means you won't come play water polo with me then, now doesn't it?" He grinned at her and returned to his own memories of his family. His father pushing him to be better, to know more. To be everything he could be. Well he was striving for it now. He would be everything that he could be and he would be that way with her. "That's a good memory. Hold on to it. Maybe one day if you're ever ready to talk to them again, that memory will help you know what to say. Not saying you have to, but if you want to you always can." She was yawning, but he wasn't terribly tired having woken up from a nap. "You can sleep here if you want to Alyssa, I won't leave you if you don't want me to. I'll be here when you wake up, and tomorrow will be just as good of a day as today."

"I wouldn't call today a good day. It was a good day gone wrong that end with me here." She yawned again. "I might take you up on your offer. With me yawning so much. I would play water polo, but I don't know how." She admitted. She liked trying new things, and she wouldn't mind doing something he'd enjoy, even if it meant that she had to learn it. Which would be interesting to see. She moved into a position that allowed her to see his face. "No offense, but could we discuss something that isn't my family?" She knew that she probably looked terrible since she had been crying for most of their chat, but she didn't care. She liked the fact that he was allowing her to stay and willing to be there.

He chuckled, "Well alas despite your trials and troubles, I think it was a good day. I got to spend the majority of it with you." He shrugged his shoulders, "There is plenty of time for all that. We have all the time we need to do whatever we want." He ran a hand over her forehead and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, "Certainly. What do you want to talk about? I'll answer any questions you have. Though with my limited time on the ship, I'm afraid I don't have very many interesting stories quite yet." He pondered for a moment or three to try to think of anything he hadn't told her yet. His life seemed rather bland and boring short of his two traumatic experiences. Those were the only two stories he could think of to tell.

She did something that he wasn't excepting. She kissed him. "When was your first kiss?" She was curious to know, and he had said to ask him anything. So she was going to take advantage of that. Even if it did get he into a little bit of trouble. She was will to risk it and it was the first question that came to mind.

He smiled softly after she pulled away from the kiss. He pondered her question for a moment, "My first kiss was when I was fifteen. You remember how it was as a teenager. All awkward and such." He laughed, remembering that day. It wasn't incredibly important, not like this was. This was special and he knew that in his heart. "It wasn't anything special, we were just young and thought we knew everything about love. But now, I've learned so much more." He leaned in to return her kiss from earlier. "Now I'm ready to be in love, I don't think I ever was before."

She smiled. "I don't know if I'm ready or not. I guess we'll found out." She laughed softly. "Teenagers always believe they know everything. That hasn't changed and I doubt it ever will." She rested her head back on his chest, wondering what question she should ask next. "What did you do for your first date?"

He nodded, "I hope so. We'll just have to see how it goes and roll with whatever comes our way." He grinned widely, "We were invincible when we were young. And we did know everything. It was the best of times." He stroked her hair and pondered her next question. He shook his head, "I honestly can't remember. I think we had a dance together and dinner. But that was it. How was yours?"

She tried not to smile. "We went to one of the national parks, walked around, talked about everything, and I can't say if I remember having dinner." She sat up and looked at him. "Do you miss being on Earth? I know that the holodeck can do whatever you want it to, but it's just not the same." She looked down at her hands, and sighed. She had already told him stuff, so why did she have to ask if he missed Earth. Every human as far as she knew miss Earth from time to time. She didn't even bother to wait for him to respond. "Favorite dating activity?" She needed the mood to be light or she'd start crying again.

He pondered her question, still lying on the bed looking up at her. "I don't really know. I mean I guess sometimes I do a little bit. But after I graduated there was nothing left for me on Earth. I had no family, nowhere to go and no one to see or talk to. I could have met random strangers but..I thought maybe the stars were where I could find my calling." He sighed softly and went to her next one very quickly, "I haven't honestly been on too many dates, and of those they were mostly dinner. Sometimes there were other things after dinner, but usually that's all it was. This will be a whole new experience for me. I want to do things with you. I don't even care what they are. We can go rock climbing or scuba diving or anything you can wish to do, the holodecks will provide. I think my favorite date though was one girl, all she wanted to do was play chess to see if I was a worthy perspective "mate". Needless to say, she beat me easily three games in a row. After that she left, but I learned a lot, and had fun playing something I never really had before."

She nodded. "I don't like chess, so you're going to need to find a friend that will play with you." She still hadn't looked up from her hands. "Well you know about my parents, so I probably need to explain my missing of Earth. I just like nature, a lot. Earth, along with many other planets, are just beautiful and full of life. If I had my way, I wouldn't have left. Sorry, but I'm just miss Earth. I'm here because this is what my parents wanted. I still did what they wanted even after they disowned me. I guess this sort of proves that I still care what my parents think." She sighed and look at him. "Let's have a light subject. What are some of your favorite activities?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe I'll ask the Captain about it. Chess is a good way to learn about people, and an excellent teacher of strategy. It's quite an efficient tool." He looked at her, "That's one of the reasons you wanted to leave, wasn't it? To go home, to see life and love and live in a beautiful world. I can understand that." He thought about her second statement before answering her next question, "Well we went over my primary polo hobby. Other than that I don't get a whole lot of time off duty to expand my retinue of hobbies. Though I did always enjoy creating rockets and flying kites as a child. I will have to try that again in the holodeck. What do you like to do?"

She smiled. "I never got the chance to fly a kite. I guess I missed out." She thought about what she liked to do. "Ballroom, reading, sleeping, modeling - which is a hobby that I can't do right now, turning the holodeck into an old movie theater and watching the classics. The last one is my favorite. Though I do watch the old films in my quarters sometimes. All depends on rather or not I want to walk to the holodeck." She wondered what to ask him next. "I'm sorry but I have to ask this. Have you seen some classics films? When I say classic, I mean The Godfather or Gone with the Wind." She needed to know if she had to educate him on classic films.

He laughed softly, "Indeed you did. We will have to change that. It's a very thrilling experience, even if you know in the back of your head that it isn't real." He nodded, "I enjoy dancing, reading and sleeping as well. Though the first is something I'm still working on." He shook his head awaiting her disappointment, "No they didn't have a class on classic film in the Academy and my father would have rathered me study physics than have any sort of free time to exercise any hobby or passion that wasn't a hard science or mathematics related activity. You will have to show me. Perhaps that can be another one of our dates."

She was stunned. "I feel like I need to hurt your father, but I can't. Classic films. I can totally make that science or mathematical related. I'm so sad that you never got to enjoy classic films. Several of our dates will be watching classic films. There's so many of them, that I'm really going to need to pick and choose which ones that you have to see. And I would love to fly kites since you say that I've missed out." She knew that she probably offend him by saying that she felt like hurting his dad, but she couldn't help not saying it. "As for the dancing, If you're willing I'd be more than happy to teach you. I'm sorry for saying what I did about your father. I know that if I knew him, I'd probably understand a bit better. Did... never mind. So you had to study math and science. Two subjects that I'm not that good in. I think that'll be my reason for not playing chess with you. Besides the fact that I suck at it. If you don't believe me, I can give you the contact information on my Academy roommate who plays chess all the time. She's actually very good." She figured that this wasn't making the situation better since her comment about his dad. She really didn't mean to sound so surprised or insult his family. "I forget that everyone grows up differently." She didn't know what else to say.

He chuckled softly, "He was respected. But that doesn't hardly go hand in hand with being well liked. I think most of his friends wanted to do him physical harm at one point or another. But I really didn't ever know. We never had those kinds of talks." He shook his head, "Don't be offended or apologetic, you can't hurt him. Nothing can now, his memory lives on in whatever annals he has affected. But other than that..his legacy will be in his work. That is what he wanted." He smiled, "We can do all those things. There's plenty of time for everything. I won't make you play chess, I just thought about it is all when you asked." He sighed, "Well that's true. And everyone hopes to be better parents than theirs were to them. Or at least I would like to think so. I don't really know though. My mother always tried to tell me it was the way my father was with everyone. She was a kind soul. And maybe it was just the way he was. I won't ever know." He shrugged his shoulders, it was really not that important to him anymore.

"Well, you'll love your parents more when you meet mine. If you ever meet mine." She rubbed her neck. "It was still wrong of me to say that. You care about your parents rather or not you realize it. Plus, you'll always have a part of them. I do, even though I wish I didn't." She look away. "I don't know if I could handle being a parent. I'll most likely turn out to be like my parents. Cold and distant." Memories of her childhood and teen years, played a crossed her mind. She felt like crying again. "No one really knows how much time we have. For all you know, I could leave tomorrow and we'll never see each other again. No one can prepare you for the future, even though we all try to anyways." She was debating rather or not to go. A strong part of her wanted her stay, but she had a dumb voice in her head telling her that none of this was going to work out and that there was no point in hoping it will.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Perhaps. I guess we'll just have to see if and when that time comes." He leaned forward as she had and massaged her neck and shoulders for a few moments, "Don't worry so much about it. It was said, and I don't mind. Yes I care about them, but they won't ever know it now." He leaned over and kissed her cheek, "You have a lot of time to figure out if that's what you want. I don't see you as being cold and distant." He rested his head on her shoulder, "Yes, you very well could. That's why I wanted to spend as much time with you as I could. It's your decision to make and I won't stop you. I'll be here waiting if you decide to stay. I can promise that much."
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Alyssa Shields
Lieutenant (Y)
Lieutenant (Y)
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Posts : 193
Join date : 2011-10-28
Age : 27

PostSubject: Re: Alyssa/Kalen    Fri Feb 17, 2012 11:34 pm

||USS Fenris
||Kalen's Quarters
||1550

Alyssa didn't even bother to go to her quarters, but went straight for Kalen's. She was upset and needed to be as far away from her cousin as possible. She stood outside his quarters. She swallowed her pride, and pressed the door chime, more than once. She had already decided that if he wasn't in his quarters, she would wait.

Kalen awoke from his half nap and yawned, stretching. He had taken off his uniform and pulled on some jeans and a polo and went to answer the door. He figured it was Alyssa, but he still wasn't quite sure what to say or do. It was such an interesting push and pull for them, he was just happy to be in the moment with her. He opened the door to see her and she looked very upset. He had wondered what had happened in the last few hours, since she had probably not slept as much as she wanted by the looks of things. He didn't say anything, he just pulled her into his arms and held her tight, letting her know that he would protect her if he could from whatever was upsetting her.

She hugged him back. Tears began to slide down her face. She couldn't handle keeping things bottled up anymore. And she wanted to stay more than anything. She wanted to know where this relationship would go and at this moment, she had no choice but to tell him everything. Well... mostly everything. There were a few things she would leave out if she could control herself. Right now, all she wanted was to cry and tell him everything.

He stood in his doorway with her, just holding her. He pulled her back further and wished his quarters had some more furniture in them. They were pretty much standard, chairs and a replicator and a bed. That was really just about it. He would need to get some sort of couch at some point if he kept entertaining people. For the moment though, he could think of nothing better so he walked with her and sat her down on the bed. "Don't get any funny ideas." He smiled at her and winked, sitting down next to her. He wiped her tears away and wrapped his arm around her again, rubbing her shoulder and holding her close. "What happened, Alyssa?" He felt after having a first date, using her first name was appropriate now. He hoped she would agree.

She breathed. She didn't know if she could do this. "My parents want to talk to me. And Lydia, my cousin who's the new counselor, won't drop the subject. My parents are separated and both told me flat out that I was disowned. This happened at the end of my first year at the academy. I went on a illegal spree after that happened for like six months. No one knew where I was or what I had done. It's good that I was able to get my criminal record sealed, before I went back for my second year at the academy." She breathed again, as more tears fell. The memories of that day were still too painful. "I was missing for a year, and my parents didn't care." She sobbed. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm dead to them." She buried her face into his shoulder, and cried. This was the first time she had said it out loud and it hurt.

He held her tight and stroked her hair and her back, just content to be there to comfort her. He listened to her woes but could only relate in the slightest. "My father always tried to get me to become a younger, smaller version of himself. In all of our interactions, it seemed that all he wanted was a clone. But I didn't want to be a clone, so I rebelled, like you. After doing my own adventuring of that sort, I too tried to return home. But the trouble was, there wasn't a home to return to. I found out when I went back that my parents had been killed just weeks before that. I hadn't ever gotten to show my father what I had accomplished in Starfleet. He died thinking I was a degenerate and a fool. You have an idea how much that can hurt. Alyssa, talk to your parents. Because one day they'll be gone, and you'll always regret not saying anything. Trust me...I know." He wiped a tear away from his face and sighed softly, resting his head against hers as she cried into his shoulder. "I know it will be hard. But they still love you. I will come with you to talk to them however you please if you want." He smiled softly and kissed her cheek. "If there's anything I can do to smooth this over and help you, I won't waver from standing by your side."

She shook her head. She knew and understood that he was trying, but she didn't want to. They told her, she was dead to them, making it so that she believed them to be dead as well. It had been too long to make things work or right. It also didn't help that she went and did what they wanted her to do anyways. "I can't." She whispered. She didn't know how to explain that her parents used her against each other, and that their separation had been since she was ten. Plus her parents hated each other and hated her even more. Her dad had learned that she was different from both of them, and tried to fix things a few years back, except she was into too much pain and too closed off for her dad to be able to do anything. "I just... can't." She whispered again. She hoped that he would understand that, but knew that was most unlikely. "I'm dead to them and they're dead to me. It hurts too much. Frankly, I don't believe that they want to speak to me. Ever since I can remember they've used me against each other, and told me often that they hate me. My mom even said that she wished she hadn't had me. I knew that I was unwanted and unloved by the time I was twelve. Just because my parents separated when I was ten, didn't mean anything. They use everyone they come in contact with. I want nothing to do with them." She pushed her face into his shoulder. She cried more. She was having a hard time believing that she was actually telling him this, and that her parents were on speaking term with each other.

He frowned slightly but accepted her reasoning. He was sure he wasn't aware of the full situation, but from how it sounded, it seemed like she was far too wounded to ever consider reconciliation. Perhaps with time and his help she could reach a point where she could talk to her parents again. But he wouldn't press the issue. He didn't know very much about these kinds of things. The people whom he got close to in his past had a nasty habit of dying. He was changing that with this ship though. He wouldn't let that happen here though. He considered all her comments silently. Sometimes the best thing to say wasn't to say anything at all. He just hugged her tight and wondered what spurred this sudden interest in talking to their daughter if her parents didn't like each other as much as she believed and didn't like her even more. He was curious, but he wouldn't interfere in her family life.

She pulled away from him, and wiped her face. She was trying to stop crying. "Sorry for telling you all of that. I just didn't think I could handle it anymore. If you want to know more, I'm sure Lydia would be more than happy to tell you. She'll probably get you to help with whatever plan she has. She wants me to talk to them too." She knew being alone was a dangerous thing, but she didn't want to ruin his night or their relationship by staying. She was already afraid that she had ruin their relationship by telling him about her parents and part of her past. She was more afraid of doing something stupid than anything else. Then realization hit her. They were sitting on his bed. She swallowed and closed her eyes. "You may want to think about getting a couch." She had to keep telling herself to breath, and to fight back the tears that were still coming.

He sighed softly and cupped her cheek with his palm, "Alyssa, I want to be open and honest with you and I want the same in return. Don't ever apologize for telling me things. Especially if they're things that hurt you. I want to be here for you, to help you deal with that pain. I won't betray your trust or try to get you to do something you don't want to. I was just making a suggestion. I wouldn't ever deem to know what's best for you. You know what's best, and I will always be on your side in that." He chuckled softly, "You know? I was just thinking about that earlier. I will have to replicate one or something. I would like you to keep coming back. I want you to feel just as welcome as you would in your own quarters. I have nothing to hide from you." He smiled softly and leaned in, kissing her forehead. "You don't have to go if you're not ready. I'm still here if you want to keep talking. You won't scare me away, Alyssa."

She looked into his eyes. "Kalen, I don't know how to trust someone. I've always been betrayed. I barely talk to my cousins, and they're the family members that I keep in contact with. You've manage to find out about my parents when they don't even know. Lydia would literally kill to know what you know." She had to close her eyes again and breath. "How can you betray my trust when I don't even know how to give it? And how can you say that I won't scare you away? I came to you because I'm afraid I'll do something stupid." She shook her head, then rested it on his chest. "I don't know even know why I told." She knew that the tears were sliding down her cheeks again, but this time she didn't care. She wanted to know what he thought about all of this, and why he's bothering to let her stay. She couldn't even figure out why she was staying.

He looked right back at her before she broke eye contact and held her close again. "Well I will do my best to never let you question me. I won't betray you. Already you've put things in my hands and that's where they will stay until you say otherwise. I appreciate how much you care and trust me, and I feel the same way in return." He shook his head, "I won't tell her. Not a word from my lips, I promise." He smiled softly and ran his fingers through her hair. "I can say you won't scare me away because there is nothing in heaven or on earth you can say that would put me in a place where being with you wasn't my top priority. I see that so clearly that there is nothing to even cast a shadow of doubt in my mind." He laid back with her, not for any physical activity, just to put his back on something. It had started to twinge and he needed to not sit up for a moment or two. "I won't let you go until you tell me to. I'm committed to this relationship, and I'm not going anywhere. I care so much about you Alyssa, and unless you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel the same way, I won't ever stop."

She couldn't help but feel that he was right. "Okay. Thanks for promising. Lydia and her family just got patched up. I don't want them to know." She laid there with him. It felt natural and it reminded her that her body was getting close to falling asleep. She yawned. She knew that either they keep talking or she was going to sleep. She sighed. "I lied." She bit her lower lip, as she listened to his breathing. "I've got one memory of my parents that is happy. Well, it was when I was five. But we were happy. I don't remember where we were, but I remember that it was a lake. We have or had, I don't know if my parents still own it, a cabin/huge house by a lake. We went there one summer, when I was five. It was just the three of us. My parents had taken a week off of work to spend time with me. It was the first summer that I learned how to swim. My dad was teaching me while my mom attempted to make us lunch. My mom can't cook. It was the only time I can remember them not fighting. That one week during the summer. By the way, I'm a terrible swimmer. I know all that's needed to survive." She laughed softly before yawning again. She'd stop crying, but her body was overly tired.

He smiled again, "You're welcome. Like I said, I'd do anything for you. I wouldn't jeopardize your relationship with your cousin. It's important to you, I can see that." He pondered what she said for a moment, and the only thing that came to mind was a flippant joke, so he decided to try to lighten the mood a little. "Well I guess that means you won't come play water polo with me then, now doesn't it?" He grinned at her and returned to his own memories of his family. His father pushing him to be better, to know more. To be everything he could be. Well he was striving for it now. He would be everything that he could be and he would be that way with her. "That's a good memory. Hold on to it. Maybe one day if you're ever ready to talk to them again, that memory will help you know what to say. Not saying you have to, but if you want to you always can." She was yawning, but he wasn't terribly tired having woken up from a nap. "You can sleep here if you want to Alyssa, I won't leave you if you don't want me to. I'll be here when you wake up, and tomorrow will be just as good of a day as today."

"I wouldn't call today a good day. It was a good day gone wrong that end with me here." She yawned again. "I might take you up on your offer. With me yawning so much. I would play water polo, but I don't know how." She admitted. She liked trying new things, and she wouldn't mind doing something he'd enjoy, even if it meant that she had to learn it. Which would be interesting to see. She moved into a position that allowed her to see his face. "No offense, but could we discuss something that isn't my family?" She knew that she probably looked terrible since she had been crying for most of their chat, but she didn't care. She liked the fact that he was allowing her to stay and willing to be there.

He chuckled, "Well alas despite your trials and troubles, I think it was a good day. I got to spend the majority of it with you." He shrugged his shoulders, "There is plenty of time for all that. We have all the time we need to do whatever we want." He ran a hand over her forehead and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, "Certainly. What do you want to talk about? I'll answer any questions you have. Though with my limited time on the ship, I'm afraid I don't have very many interesting stories quite yet." He pondered for a moment or three to try to think of anything he hadn't told her yet. His life seemed rather bland and boring short of his two traumatic experiences. Those were the only two stories he could think of to tell.

She did something that he wasn't excepting. She kissed him. "When was your first kiss?" She was curious to know, and he had said to ask him anything. So she was going to take advantage of that. Even if it did get he into a little bit of trouble. She was will to risk it and it was the first question that came to mind.

He smiled softly after she pulled away from the kiss. He pondered her question for a moment, "My first kiss was when I was fifteen. You remember how it was as a teenager. All awkward and such." He laughed, remembering that day. It wasn't incredibly important, not like this was. This was special and he knew that in his heart. "It wasn't anything special, we were just young and thought we knew everything about love. But now, I've learned so much more." He leaned in to return her kiss from earlier. "Now I'm ready to be in love, I don't think I ever was before."

She smiled. "I don't know if I'm ready or not. I guess we'll found out." She laughed softly. "Teenagers always believe they know everything. That hasn't changed and I doubt it ever will." She rested her head back on his chest, wondering what question she should ask next. "What did you do for your first date?"

He nodded, "I hope so. We'll just have to see how it goes and roll with whatever comes our way." He grinned widely, "We were invincible when we were young. And we did know everything. It was the best of times." He stroked her hair and pondered her next question. He shook his head, "I honestly can't remember. I think we had a dance together and dinner. But that was it. How was yours?"

She tried not to smile. "We went to one of the national parks, walked around, talked about everything, and I can't say if I remember having dinner." She sat up and looked at him. "Do you miss being on Earth? I know that the holodeck can do whatever you want it to, but it's just not the same." She looked down at her hands, and sighed. She had already told him stuff, so why did she have to ask if he missed Earth. Every human as far as she knew miss Earth from time to time. She didn't even bother to wait for him to respond. "Favorite dating activity?" She needed the mood to be light or she'd start crying again.

He pondered her question, still lying on the bed looking up at her. "I don't really know. I mean I guess sometimes I do a little bit. But after I graduated there was nothing left for me on Earth. I had no family, nowhere to go and no one to see or talk to. I could have met random strangers but..I thought maybe the stars were where I could find my calling." He sighed softly and went to her next one very quickly, "I haven't honestly been on too many dates, and of those they were mostly dinner. Sometimes there were other things after dinner, but usually that's all it was. This will be a whole new experience for me. I want to do things with you. I don't even care what they are. We can go rock climbing or scuba diving or anything you can wish to do, the holodecks will provide. I think my favorite date though was one girl, all she wanted to do was play chess to see if I was a worthy perspective "mate". Needless to say, she beat me easily three games in a row. After that she left, but I learned a lot, and had fun playing something I never really had before."

She nodded. "I don't like chess, so you're going to need to find a friend that will play with you." She still hadn't looked up from her hands. "Well you know about my parents, so I probably need to explain my missing of Earth. I just like nature, a lot. Earth, along with many other planets, are just beautiful and full of life. If I had my way, I wouldn't have left. Sorry, but I'm just miss Earth. I'm here because this is what my parents wanted. I still did what they wanted even after they disowned me. I guess this sort of proves that I still care what my parents think." She sighed and look at him. "Let's have a light subject. What are some of your favorite activities?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe I'll ask the Captain about it. Chess is a good way to learn about people, and an excellent teacher of strategy. It's quite an efficient tool." He looked at her, "That's one of the reasons you wanted to leave, wasn't it? To go home, to see life and love and live in a beautiful world. I can understand that." He thought about her second statement before answering her next question, "Well we went over my primary polo hobby. Other than that I don't get a whole lot of time off duty to expand my retinue of hobbies. Though I did always enjoy creating rockets and flying kites as a child. I will have to try that again in the holodeck. What do you like to do?"

She smiled. "I never got the chance to fly a kite. I guess I missed out." She thought about what she liked to do. "Ballroom, reading, sleeping, modeling - which is a hobby that I can't do right now, turning the holodeck into an old movie theater and watching the classics. The last one is my favorite. Though I do watch the old films in my quarters sometimes. All depends on rather or not I want to walk to the holodeck." She wondered what to ask him next. "I'm sorry but I have to ask this. Have you seen some classics films? When I say classic, I mean The Godfather or Gone with the Wind." She needed to know if she had to educate him on classic films.

He laughed softly, "Indeed you did. We will have to change that. It's a very thrilling experience, even if you know in the back of your head that it isn't real." He nodded, "I enjoy dancing, reading and sleeping as well. Though the first is something I'm still working on." He shook his head awaiting her disappointment, "No they didn't have a class on classic film in the Academy and my father would have rathered me study physics than have any sort of free time to exercise any hobby or passion that wasn't a hard science or mathematics related activity. You will have to show me. Perhaps that can be another one of our dates."

She was stunned. "I feel like I need to hurt your father, but I can't. Classic films. I can totally make that science or mathematical related. I'm so sad that you never got to enjoy classic films. Several of our dates will be watching classic films. There's so many of them, that I'm really going to need to pick and choose which ones that you have to see. And I would love to fly kites since you say that I've missed out." She knew that she probably offend him by saying that she felt like hurting his dad, but she couldn't help not saying it. "As for the dancing, If you're willing I'd be more than happy to teach you. I'm sorry for saying what I did about your father. I know that if I knew him, I'd probably understand a bit better. Did... never mind. So you had to study math and science. Two subjects that I'm not that good in. I think that'll be my reason for not playing chess with you. Besides the fact that I suck at it. If you don't believe me, I can give you the contact information on my Academy roommate who plays chess all the time. She's actually very good." She figured that this wasn't making the situation better since her comment about his dad. She really didn't mean to sound so surprised or insult his family. "I forget that everyone grows up differently." She didn't know what else to say.

He chuckled softly, "He was respected. But that doesn't hardly go hand in hand with being well liked. I think most of his friends wanted to do him physical harm at one point or another. But I really didn't ever know. We never had those kinds of talks." He shook his head, "Don't be offended or apologetic, you can't hurt him. Nothing can now, his memory lives on in whatever annals he has affected. But other than that..his legacy will be in his work. That is what he wanted." He smiled, "We can do all those things. There's plenty of time for everything. I won't make you play chess, I just thought about it is all when you asked." He sighed, "Well that's true. And everyone hopes to be better parents than theirs were to them. Or at least I would like to think so. I don't really know though. My mother always tried to tell me it was the way my father was with everyone. She was a kind soul. And maybe it was just the way he was. I won't ever know." He shrugged his shoulders, it was really not that important to him anymore.

"Well, you'll love your parents more when you meet mine. If you ever meet mine." She rubbed her neck. "It was still wrong of me to say that. You care about your parents rather or not you realize it. Plus, you'll always have a part of them. I do, even though I wish I didn't." She look away. "I don't know if I could handle being a parent. I'll most likely turn out to be like my parents. Cold and distant." Memories of her childhood and teen years, played a crossed her mind. She felt like crying again. "No one really knows how much time we have. For all you know, I could leave tomorrow and we'll never see each other again. No one can prepare you for the future, even though we all try to anyways." She was debating rather or not to go. A strong part of her wanted her stay, but she had a dumb voice in her head telling her that none of this was going to work out and that there was no point in hoping it will.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Perhaps. I guess we'll just have to see if and when that time comes." He leaned forward as she had and massaged her neck and shoulders for a few moments, "Don't worry so much about it. It was said, and I don't mind. Yes I care about them, but they won't ever know it now." He leaned over and kissed her cheek, "You have a lot of time to figure out if that's what you want. I don't see you as being cold and distant." He rested his head on her shoulder, "Yes, you very well could. That's why I wanted to spend as much time with you as I could. It's your decision to make and I won't stop you. I'll be here waiting if you decide to stay. I can promise that much."

She kissed him. "Thanks. There's something I've got to tell you." She sighed, and bit her lower lip. "I already told my cousin that I was staying. I just don't know what I'm doing yet. There's already two counselors and I haven't talked to the Captain yet. So I guess there's still a good chance that I might not be able to stay. It's really the Captain's choice." She didn't exactly know how he would take it.
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Kalen Gespard
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PostSubject: Re: Alyssa/Kalen    Mon Feb 20, 2012 12:05 am

||USS Fenris
||Kalen's Quarters
||1550

Alyssa didn't even bother to go to her quarters, but went straight for Kalen's. She was upset and needed to be as far away from her cousin as possible. She stood outside his quarters. She swallowed her pride, and pressed the door chime, more than once. She had already decided that if he wasn't in his quarters, she would wait.

Kalen awoke from his half nap and yawned, stretching. He had taken off his uniform and pulled on some jeans and a polo and went to answer the door. He figured it was Alyssa, but he still wasn't quite sure what to say or do. It was such an interesting push and pull for them, he was just happy to be in the moment with her. He opened the door to see her and she looked very upset. He had wondered what had happened in the last few hours, since she had probably not slept as much as she wanted by the looks of things. He didn't say anything, he just pulled her into his arms and held her tight, letting her know that he would protect her if he could from whatever was upsetting her.

She hugged him back. Tears began to slide down her face. She couldn't handle keeping things bottled up anymore. And she wanted to stay more than anything. She wanted to know where this relationship would go and at this moment, she had no choice but to tell him everything. Well... mostly everything. There were a few things she would leave out if she could control herself. Right now, all she wanted was to cry and tell him everything.

He stood in his doorway with her, just holding her. He pulled her back further and wished his quarters had some more furniture in them. They were pretty much standard, chairs and a replicator and a bed. That was really just about it. He would need to get some sort of couch at some point if he kept entertaining people. For the moment though, he could think of nothing better so he walked with her and sat her down on the bed. "Don't get any funny ideas." He smiled at her and winked, sitting down next to her. He wiped her tears away and wrapped his arm around her again, rubbing her shoulder and holding her close. "What happened, Alyssa?" He felt after having a first date, using her first name was appropriate now. He hoped she would agree.

She breathed. She didn't know if she could do this. "My parents want to talk to me. And Lydia, my cousin who's the new counselor, won't drop the subject. My parents are separated and both told me flat out that I was disowned. This happened at the end of my first year at the academy. I went on a illegal spree after that happened for like six months. No one knew where I was or what I had done. It's good that I was able to get my criminal record sealed, before I went back for my second year at the academy." She breathed again, as more tears fell. The memories of that day were still too painful. "I was missing for a year, and my parents didn't care." She sobbed. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm dead to them." She buried her face into his shoulder, and cried. This was the first time she had said it out loud and it hurt.

He held her tight and stroked her hair and her back, just content to be there to comfort her. He listened to her woes but could only relate in the slightest. "My father always tried to get me to become a younger, smaller version of himself. In all of our interactions, it seemed that all he wanted was a clone. But I didn't want to be a clone, so I rebelled, like you. After doing my own adventuring of that sort, I too tried to return home. But the trouble was, there wasn't a home to return to. I found out when I went back that my parents had been killed just weeks before that. I hadn't ever gotten to show my father what I had accomplished in Starfleet. He died thinking I was a degenerate and a fool. You have an idea how much that can hurt. Alyssa, talk to your parents. Because one day they'll be gone, and you'll always regret not saying anything. Trust me...I know." He wiped a tear away from his face and sighed softly, resting his head against hers as she cried into his shoulder. "I know it will be hard. But they still love you. I will come with you to talk to them however you please if you want." He smiled softly and kissed her cheek. "If there's anything I can do to smooth this over and help you, I won't waver from standing by your side."

She shook her head. She knew and understood that he was trying, but she didn't want to. They told her, she was dead to them, making it so that she believed them to be dead as well. It had been too long to make things work or right. It also didn't help that she went and did what they wanted her to do anyways. "I can't." She whispered. She didn't know how to explain that her parents used her against each other, and that their separation had been since she was ten. Plus her parents hated each other and hated her even more. Her dad had learned that she was different from both of them, and tried to fix things a few years back, except she was into too much pain and too closed off for her dad to be able to do anything. "I just... can't." She whispered again. She hoped that he would understand that, but knew that was most unlikely. "I'm dead to them and they're dead to me. It hurts too much. Frankly, I don't believe that they want to speak to me. Ever since I can remember they've used me against each other, and told me often that they hate me. My mom even said that she wished she hadn't had me. I knew that I was unwanted and unloved by the time I was twelve. Just because my parents separated when I was ten, didn't mean anything. They use everyone they come in contact with. I want nothing to do with them." She pushed her face into his shoulder. She cried more. She was having a hard time believing that she was actually telling him this, and that her parents were on speaking term with each other.

He frowned slightly but accepted her reasoning. He was sure he wasn't aware of the full situation, but from how it sounded, it seemed like she was far too wounded to ever consider reconciliation. Perhaps with time and his help she could reach a point where she could talk to her parents again. But he wouldn't press the issue. He didn't know very much about these kinds of things. The people whom he got close to in his past had a nasty habit of dying. He was changing that with this ship though. He wouldn't let that happen here though. He considered all her comments silently. Sometimes the best thing to say wasn't to say anything at all. He just hugged her tight and wondered what spurred this sudden interest in talking to their daughter if her parents didn't like each other as much as she believed and didn't like her even more. He was curious, but he wouldn't interfere in her family life.

She pulled away from him, and wiped her face. She was trying to stop crying. "Sorry for telling you all of that. I just didn't think I could handle it anymore. If you want to know more, I'm sure Lydia would be more than happy to tell you. She'll probably get you to help with whatever plan she has. She wants me to talk to them too." She knew being alone was a dangerous thing, but she didn't want to ruin his night or their relationship by staying. She was already afraid that she had ruin their relationship by telling him about her parents and part of her past. She was more afraid of doing something stupid than anything else. Then realization hit her. They were sitting on his bed. She swallowed and closed her eyes. "You may want to think about getting a couch." She had to keep telling herself to breath, and to fight back the tears that were still coming.

He sighed softly and cupped her cheek with his palm, "Alyssa, I want to be open and honest with you and I want the same in return. Don't ever apologize for telling me things. Especially if they're things that hurt you. I want to be here for you, to help you deal with that pain. I won't betray your trust or try to get you to do something you don't want to. I was just making a suggestion. I wouldn't ever deem to know what's best for you. You know what's best, and I will always be on your side in that." He chuckled softly, "You know? I was just thinking about that earlier. I will have to replicate one or something. I would like you to keep coming back. I want you to feel just as welcome as you would in your own quarters. I have nothing to hide from you." He smiled softly and leaned in, kissing her forehead. "You don't have to go if you're not ready. I'm still here if you want to keep talking. You won't scare me away, Alyssa."

She looked into his eyes. "Kalen, I don't know how to trust someone. I've always been betrayed. I barely talk to my cousins, and they're the family members that I keep in contact with. You've manage to find out about my parents when they don't even know. Lydia would literally kill to know what you know." She had to close her eyes again and breath. "How can you betray my trust when I don't even know how to give it? And how can you say that I won't scare you away? I came to you because I'm afraid I'll do something stupid." She shook her head, then rested it on his chest. "I don't know even know why I told." She knew that the tears were sliding down her cheeks again, but this time she didn't care. She wanted to know what he thought about all of this, and why he's bothering to let her stay. She couldn't even figure out why she was staying.

He looked right back at her before she broke eye contact and held her close again. "Well I will do my best to never let you question me. I won't betray you. Already you've put things in my hands and that's where they will stay until you say otherwise. I appreciate how much you care and trust me, and I feel the same way in return." He shook his head, "I won't tell her. Not a word from my lips, I promise." He smiled softly and ran his fingers through her hair. "I can say you won't scare me away because there is nothing in heaven or on earth you can say that would put me in a place where being with you wasn't my top priority. I see that so clearly that there is nothing to even cast a shadow of doubt in my mind." He laid back with her, not for any physical activity, just to put his back on something. It had started to twinge and he needed to not sit up for a moment or two. "I won't let you go until you tell me to. I'm committed to this relationship, and I'm not going anywhere. I care so much about you Alyssa, and unless you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel the same way, I won't ever stop."

She couldn't help but feel that he was right. "Okay. Thanks for promising. Lydia and her family just got patched up. I don't want them to know." She laid there with him. It felt natural and it reminded her that her body was getting close to falling asleep. She yawned. She knew that either they keep talking or she was going to sleep. She sighed. "I lied." She bit her lower lip, as she listened to his breathing. "I've got one memory of my parents that is happy. Well, it was when I was five. But we were happy. I don't remember where we were, but I remember that it was a lake. We have or had, I don't know if my parents still own it, a cabin/huge house by a lake. We went there one summer, when I was five. It was just the three of us. My parents had taken a week off of work to spend time with me. It was the first summer that I learned how to swim. My dad was teaching me while my mom attempted to make us lunch. My mom can't cook. It was the only time I can remember them not fighting. That one week during the summer. By the way, I'm a terrible swimmer. I know all that's needed to survive." She laughed softly before yawning again. She'd stop crying, but her body was overly tired.

He smiled again, "You're welcome. Like I said, I'd do anything for you. I wouldn't jeopardize your relationship with your cousin. It's important to you, I can see that." He pondered what she said for a moment, and the only thing that came to mind was a flippant joke, so he decided to try to lighten the mood a little. "Well I guess that means you won't come play water polo with me then, now doesn't it?" He grinned at her and returned to his own memories of his family. His father pushing him to be better, to know more. To be everything he could be. Well he was striving for it now. He would be everything that he could be and he would be that way with her. "That's a good memory. Hold on to it. Maybe one day if you're ever ready to talk to them again, that memory will help you know what to say. Not saying you have to, but if you want to you always can." She was yawning, but he wasn't terribly tired having woken up from a nap. "You can sleep here if you want to Alyssa, I won't leave you if you don't want me to. I'll be here when you wake up, and tomorrow will be just as good of a day as today."

"I wouldn't call today a good day. It was a good day gone wrong that end with me here." She yawned again. "I might take you up on your offer. With me yawning so much. I would play water polo, but I don't know how." She admitted. She liked trying new things, and she wouldn't mind doing something he'd enjoy, even if it meant that she had to learn it. Which would be interesting to see. She moved into a position that allowed her to see his face. "No offense, but could we discuss something that isn't my family?" She knew that she probably looked terrible since she had been crying for most of their chat, but she didn't care. She liked the fact that he was allowing her to stay and willing to be there.

He chuckled, "Well alas despite your trials and troubles, I think it was a good day. I got to spend the majority of it with you." He shrugged his shoulders, "There is plenty of time for all that. We have all the time we need to do whatever we want." He ran a hand over her forehead and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, "Certainly. What do you want to talk about? I'll answer any questions you have. Though with my limited time on the ship, I'm afraid I don't have very many interesting stories quite yet." He pondered for a moment or three to try to think of anything he hadn't told her yet. His life seemed rather bland and boring short of his two traumatic experiences. Those were the only two stories he could think of to tell.

She did something that he wasn't excepting. She kissed him. "When was your first kiss?" She was curious to know, and he had said to ask him anything. So she was going to take advantage of that. Even if it did get he into a little bit of trouble. She was will to risk it and it was the first question that came to mind.

He smiled softly after she pulled away from the kiss. He pondered her question for a moment, "My first kiss was when I was fifteen. You remember how it was as a teenager. All awkward and such." He laughed, remembering that day. It wasn't incredibly important, not like this was. This was special and he knew that in his heart. "It wasn't anything special, we were just young and thought we knew everything about love. But now, I've learned so much more." He leaned in to return her kiss from earlier. "Now I'm ready to be in love, I don't think I ever was before."

She smiled. "I don't know if I'm ready or not. I guess we'll found out." She laughed softly. "Teenagers always believe they know everything. That hasn't changed and I doubt it ever will." She rested her head back on his chest, wondering what question she should ask next. "What did you do for your first date?"

He nodded, "I hope so. We'll just have to see how it goes and roll with whatever comes our way." He grinned widely, "We were invincible when we were young. And we did know everything. It was the best of times." He stroked her hair and pondered her next question. He shook his head, "I honestly can't remember. I think we had a dance together and dinner. But that was it. How was yours?"

She tried not to smile. "We went to one of the national parks, walked around, talked about everything, and I can't say if I remember having dinner." She sat up and looked at him. "Do you miss being on Earth? I know that the holodeck can do whatever you want it to, but it's just not the same." She looked down at her hands, and sighed. She had already told him stuff, so why did she have to ask if he missed Earth. Every human as far as she knew miss Earth from time to time. She didn't even bother to wait for him to respond. "Favorite dating activity?" She needed the mood to be light or she'd start crying again.

He pondered her question, still lying on the bed looking up at her. "I don't really know. I mean I guess sometimes I do a little bit. But after I graduated there was nothing left for me on Earth. I had no family, nowhere to go and no one to see or talk to. I could have met random strangers but..I thought maybe the stars were where I could find my calling." He sighed softly and went to her next one very quickly, "I haven't honestly been on too many dates, and of those they were mostly dinner. Sometimes there were other things after dinner, but usually that's all it was. This will be a whole new experience for me. I want to do things with you. I don't even care what they are. We can go rock climbing or scuba diving or anything you can wish to do, the holodecks will provide. I think my favorite date though was one girl, all she wanted to do was play chess to see if I was a worthy perspective "mate". Needless to say, she beat me easily three games in a row. After that she left, but I learned a lot, and had fun playing something I never really had before."

She nodded. "I don't like chess, so you're going to need to find a friend that will play with you." She still hadn't looked up from her hands. "Well you know about my parents, so I probably need to explain my missing of Earth. I just like nature, a lot. Earth, along with many other planets, are just beautiful and full of life. If I had my way, I wouldn't have left. Sorry, but I'm just miss Earth. I'm here because this is what my parents wanted. I still did what they wanted even after they disowned me. I guess this sort of proves that I still care what my parents think." She sighed and look at him. "Let's have a light subject. What are some of your favorite activities?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe I'll ask the Captain about it. Chess is a good way to learn about people, and an excellent teacher of strategy. It's quite an efficient tool." He looked at her, "That's one of the reasons you wanted to leave, wasn't it? To go home, to see life and love and live in a beautiful world. I can understand that." He thought about her second statement before answering her next question, "Well we went over my primary polo hobby. Other than that I don't get a whole lot of time off duty to expand my retinue of hobbies. Though I did always enjoy creating rockets and flying kites as a child. I will have to try that again in the holodeck. What do you like to do?"

She smiled. "I never got the chance to fly a kite. I guess I missed out." She thought about what she liked to do. "Ballroom, reading, sleeping, modeling - which is a hobby that I can't do right now, turning the holodeck into an old movie theater and watching the classics. The last one is my favorite. Though I do watch the old films in my quarters sometimes. All depends on rather or not I want to walk to the holodeck." She wondered what to ask him next. "I'm sorry but I have to ask this. Have you seen some classics films? When I say classic, I mean The Godfather or Gone with the Wind." She needed to know if she had to educate him on classic films.

He laughed softly, "Indeed you did. We will have to change that. It's a very thrilling experience, even if you know in the back of your head that it isn't real." He nodded, "I enjoy dancing, reading and sleeping as well. Though the first is something I'm still working on." He shook his head awaiting her disappointment, "No they didn't have a class on classic film in the Academy and my father would have rathered me study physics than have any sort of free time to exercise any hobby or passion that wasn't a hard science or mathematics related activity. You will have to show me. Perhaps that can be another one of our dates."

She was stunned. "I feel like I need to hurt your father, but I can't. Classic films. I can totally make that science or mathematical related. I'm so sad that you never got to enjoy classic films. Several of our dates will be watching classic films. There's so many of them, that I'm really going to need to pick and choose which ones that you have to see. And I would love to fly kites since you say that I've missed out." She knew that she probably offend him by saying that she felt like hurting his dad, but she couldn't help not saying it. "As for the dancing, If you're willing I'd be more than happy to teach you. I'm sorry for saying what I did about your father. I know that if I knew him, I'd probably understand a bit better. Did... never mind. So you had to study math and science. Two subjects that I'm not that good in. I think that'll be my reason for not playing chess with you. Besides the fact that I suck at it. If you don't believe me, I can give you the contact information on my Academy roommate who plays chess all the time. She's actually very good." She figured that this wasn't making the situation better since her comment about his dad. She really didn't mean to sound so surprised or insult his family. "I forget that everyone grows up differently." She didn't know what else to say.

He chuckled softly, "He was respected. But that doesn't hardly go hand in hand with being well liked. I think most of his friends wanted to do him physical harm at one point or another. But I really didn't ever know. We never had those kinds of talks." He shook his head, "Don't be offended or apologetic, you can't hurt him. Nothing can now, his memory lives on in whatever annals he has affected. But other than that..his legacy will be in his work. That is what he wanted." He smiled, "We can do all those things. There's plenty of time for everything. I won't make you play chess, I just thought about it is all when you asked." He sighed, "Well that's true. And everyone hopes to be better parents than theirs were to them. Or at least I would like to think so. I don't really know though. My mother always tried to tell me it was the way my father was with everyone. She was a kind soul. And maybe it was just the way he was. I won't ever know." He shrugged his shoulders, it was really not that important to him anymore.

"Well, you'll love your parents more when you meet mine. If you ever meet mine." She rubbed her neck. "It was still wrong of me to say that. You care about your parents rather or not you realize it. Plus, you'll always have a part of them. I do, even though I wish I didn't." She look away. "I don't know if I could handle being a parent. I'll most likely turn out to be like my parents. Cold and distant." Memories of her childhood and teen years, played a crossed her mind. She felt like crying again. "No one really knows how much time we have. For all you know, I could leave tomorrow and we'll never see each other again. No one can prepare you for the future, even though we all try to anyways." She was debating rather or not to go. A strong part of her wanted her stay, but she had a dumb voice in her head telling her that none of this was going to work out and that there was no point in hoping it will.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Perhaps. I guess we'll just have to see if and when that time comes." He leaned forward as she had and massaged her neck and shoulders for a few moments, "Don't worry so much about it. It was said, and I don't mind. Yes I care about them, but they won't ever know it now." He leaned over and kissed her cheek, "You have a lot of time to figure out if that's what you want. I don't see you as being cold and distant." He rested his head on her shoulder, "Yes, you very well could. That's why I wanted to spend as much time with you as I could. It's your decision to make and I won't stop you. I'll be here waiting if you decide to stay. I can promise that much."

She kissed him. "Thanks. There's something I've got to tell you." She sighed, and bit her lower lip. "I already told my cousin that I was staying. I just don't know what I'm doing yet. There's already two counselors and I haven't talked to the Captain yet. So I guess there's still a good chance that I might not be able to stay. It's really the Captain's choice." She didn't exactly know how he would take it.

He nodded to her and smiled softly, "Well I think that she will let you stay. Or at least I hope so. If that's still what you want to do." He leaned in and returned her kiss, "I'm just happy to spend every moment with you that I can. I wouldn't change that for the world." He wanted to stay in that moment with her forever. But already it was continuing forward through time. "She'll keep us together. But if not..I don't know. I'd be half tempted to follow you, you know that?" He grinned.
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Alyssa Shields
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PostSubject: Re: Alyssa/Kalen    Wed Feb 22, 2012 1:21 am

||USS Fenris
||Kalen's Quarters
||1550

Alyssa didn't even bother to go to her quarters, but went straight for Kalen's. She was upset and needed to be as far away from her cousin as possible. She stood outside his quarters. She swallowed her pride, and pressed the door chime, more than once. She had already decided that if he wasn't in his quarters, she would wait.

Kalen awoke from his half nap and yawned, stretching. He had taken off his uniform and pulled on some jeans and a polo and went to answer the door. He figured it was Alyssa, but he still wasn't quite sure what to say or do. It was such an interesting push and pull for them, he was just happy to be in the moment with her. He opened the door to see her and she looked very upset. He had wondered what had happened in the last few hours, since she had probably not slept as much as she wanted by the looks of things. He didn't say anything, he just pulled her into his arms and held her tight, letting her know that he would protect her if he could from whatever was upsetting her.

She hugged him back. Tears began to slide down her face. She couldn't handle keeping things bottled up anymore. And she wanted to stay more than anything. She wanted to know where this relationship would go and at this moment, she had no choice but to tell him everything. Well... mostly everything. There were a few things she would leave out if she could control herself. Right now, all she wanted was to cry and tell him everything.

He stood in his doorway with her, just holding her. He pulled her back further and wished his quarters had some more furniture in them. They were pretty much standard, chairs and a replicator and a bed. That was really just about it. He would need to get some sort of couch at some point if he kept entertaining people. For the moment though, he could think of nothing better so he walked with her and sat her down on the bed. "Don't get any funny ideas." He smiled at her and winked, sitting down next to her. He wiped her tears away and wrapped his arm around her again, rubbing her shoulder and holding her close. "What happened, Alyssa?" He felt after having a first date, using her first name was appropriate now. He hoped she would agree.

She breathed. She didn't know if she could do this. "My parents want to talk to me. And Lydia, my cousin who's the new counselor, won't drop the subject. My parents are separated and both told me flat out that I was disowned. This happened at the end of my first year at the academy. I went on a illegal spree after that happened for like six months. No one knew where I was or what I had done. It's good that I was able to get my criminal record sealed, before I went back for my second year at the academy." She breathed again, as more tears fell. The memories of that day were still too painful. "I was missing for a year, and my parents didn't care." She sobbed. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm dead to them." She buried her face into his shoulder, and cried. This was the first time she had said it out loud and it hurt.

He held her tight and stroked her hair and her back, just content to be there to comfort her. He listened to her woes but could only relate in the slightest. "My father always tried to get me to become a younger, smaller version of himself. In all of our interactions, it seemed that all he wanted was a clone. But I didn't want to be a clone, so I rebelled, like you. After doing my own adventuring of that sort, I too tried to return home. But the trouble was, there wasn't a home to return to. I found out when I went back that my parents had been killed just weeks before that. I hadn't ever gotten to show my father what I had accomplished in Starfleet. He died thinking I was a degenerate and a fool. You have an idea how much that can hurt. Alyssa, talk to your parents. Because one day they'll be gone, and you'll always regret not saying anything. Trust me...I know." He wiped a tear away from his face and sighed softly, resting his head against hers as she cried into his shoulder. "I know it will be hard. But they still love you. I will come with you to talk to them however you please if you want." He smiled softly and kissed her cheek. "If there's anything I can do to smooth this over and help you, I won't waver from standing by your side."

She shook her head. She knew and understood that he was trying, but she didn't want to. They told her, she was dead to them, making it so that she believed them to be dead as well. It had been too long to make things work or right. It also didn't help that she went and did what they wanted her to do anyways. "I can't." She whispered. She didn't know how to explain that her parents used her against each other, and that their separation had been since she was ten. Plus her parents hated each other and hated her even more. Her dad had learned that she was different from both of them, and tried to fix things a few years back, except she was into too much pain and too closed off for her dad to be able to do anything. "I just... can't." She whispered again. She hoped that he would understand that, but knew that was most unlikely. "I'm dead to them and they're dead to me. It hurts too much. Frankly, I don't believe that they want to speak to me. Ever since I can remember they've used me against each other, and told me often that they hate me. My mom even said that she wished she hadn't had me. I knew that I was unwanted and unloved by the time I was twelve. Just because my parents separated when I was ten, didn't mean anything. They use everyone they come in contact with. I want nothing to do with them." She pushed her face into his shoulder. She cried more. She was having a hard time believing that she was actually telling him this, and that her parents were on speaking term with each other.

He frowned slightly but accepted her reasoning. He was sure he wasn't aware of the full situation, but from how it sounded, it seemed like she was far too wounded to ever consider reconciliation. Perhaps with time and his help she could reach a point where she could talk to her parents again. But he wouldn't press the issue. He didn't know very much about these kinds of things. The people whom he got close to in his past had a nasty habit of dying. He was changing that with this ship though. He wouldn't let that happen here though. He considered all her comments silently. Sometimes the best thing to say wasn't to say anything at all. He just hugged her tight and wondered what spurred this sudden interest in talking to their daughter if her parents didn't like each other as much as she believed and didn't like her even more. He was curious, but he wouldn't interfere in her family life.

She pulled away from him, and wiped her face. She was trying to stop crying. "Sorry for telling you all of that. I just didn't think I could handle it anymore. If you want to know more, I'm sure Lydia would be more than happy to tell you. She'll probably get you to help with whatever plan she has. She wants me to talk to them too." She knew being alone was a dangerous thing, but she didn't want to ruin his night or their relationship by staying. She was already afraid that she had ruin their relationship by telling him about her parents and part of her past. She was more afraid of doing something stupid than anything else. Then realization hit her. They were sitting on his bed. She swallowed and closed her eyes. "You may want to think about getting a couch." She had to keep telling herself to breath, and to fight back the tears that were still coming.

He sighed softly and cupped her cheek with his palm, "Alyssa, I want to be open and honest with you and I want the same in return. Don't ever apologize for telling me things. Especially if they're things that hurt you. I want to be here for you, to help you deal with that pain. I won't betray your trust or try to get you to do something you don't want to. I was just making a suggestion. I wouldn't ever deem to know what's best for you. You know what's best, and I will always be on your side in that." He chuckled softly, "You know? I was just thinking about that earlier. I will have to replicate one or something. I would like you to keep coming back. I want you to feel just as welcome as you would in your own quarters. I have nothing to hide from you." He smiled softly and leaned in, kissing her forehead. "You don't have to go if you're not ready. I'm still here if you want to keep talking. You won't scare me away, Alyssa."

She looked into his eyes. "Kalen, I don't know how to trust someone. I've always been betrayed. I barely talk to my cousins, and they're the family members that I keep in contact with. You've manage to find out about my parents when they don't even know. Lydia would literally kill to know what you know." She had to close her eyes again and breath. "How can you betray my trust when I don't even know how to give it? And how can you say that I won't scare you away? I came to you because I'm afraid I'll do something stupid." She shook her head, then rested it on his chest. "I don't know even know why I told." She knew that the tears were sliding down her cheeks again, but this time she didn't care. She wanted to know what he thought about all of this, and why he's bothering to let her stay. She couldn't even figure out why she was staying.

He looked right back at her before she broke eye contact and held her close again. "Well I will do my best to never let you question me. I won't betray you. Already you've put things in my hands and that's where they will stay until you say otherwise. I appreciate how much you care and trust me, and I feel the same way in return." He shook his head, "I won't tell her. Not a word from my lips, I promise." He smiled softly and ran his fingers through her hair. "I can say you won't scare me away because there is nothing in heaven or on earth you can say that would put me in a place where being with you wasn't my top priority. I see that so clearly that there is nothing to even cast a shadow of doubt in my mind." He laid back with her, not for any physical activity, just to put his back on something. It had started to twinge and he needed to not sit up for a moment or two. "I won't let you go until you tell me to. I'm committed to this relationship, and I'm not going anywhere. I care so much about you Alyssa, and unless you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel the same way, I won't ever stop."

She couldn't help but feel that he was right. "Okay. Thanks for promising. Lydia and her family just got patched up. I don't want them to know." She laid there with him. It felt natural and it reminded her that her body was getting close to falling asleep. She yawned. She knew that either they keep talking or she was going to sleep. She sighed. "I lied." She bit her lower lip, as she listened to his breathing. "I've got one memory of my parents that is happy. Well, it was when I was five. But we were happy. I don't remember where we were, but I remember that it was a lake. We have or had, I don't know if my parents still own it, a cabin/huge house by a lake. We went there one summer, when I was five. It was just the three of us. My parents had taken a week off of work to spend time with me. It was the first summer that I learned how to swim. My dad was teaching me while my mom attempted to make us lunch. My mom can't cook. It was the only time I can remember them not fighting. That one week during the summer. By the way, I'm a terrible swimmer. I know all that's needed to survive." She laughed softly before yawning again. She'd stop crying, but her body was overly tired.

He smiled again, "You're welcome. Like I said, I'd do anything for you. I wouldn't jeopardize your relationship with your cousin. It's important to you, I can see that." He pondered what she said for a moment, and the only thing that came to mind was a flippant joke, so he decided to try to lighten the mood a little. "Well I guess that means you won't come play water polo with me then, now doesn't it?" He grinned at her and returned to his own memories of his family. His father pushing him to be better, to know more. To be everything he could be. Well he was striving for it now. He would be everything that he could be and he would be that way with her. "That's a good memory. Hold on to it. Maybe one day if you're ever ready to talk to them again, that memory will help you know what to say. Not saying you have to, but if you want to you always can." She was yawning, but he wasn't terribly tired having woken up from a nap. "You can sleep here if you want to Alyssa, I won't leave you if you don't want me to. I'll be here when you wake up, and tomorrow will be just as good of a day as today."

"I wouldn't call today a good day. It was a good day gone wrong that end with me here." She yawned again. "I might take you up on your offer. With me yawning so much. I would play water polo, but I don't know how." She admitted. She liked trying new things, and she wouldn't mind doing something he'd enjoy, even if it meant that she had to learn it. Which would be interesting to see. She moved into a position that allowed her to see his face. "No offense, but could we discuss something that isn't my family?" She knew that she probably looked terrible since she had been crying for most of their chat, but she didn't care. She liked the fact that he was allowing her to stay and willing to be there.

He chuckled, "Well alas despite your trials and troubles, I think it was a good day. I got to spend the majority of it with you." He shrugged his shoulders, "There is plenty of time for all that. We have all the time we need to do whatever we want." He ran a hand over her forehead and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, "Certainly. What do you want to talk about? I'll answer any questions you have. Though with my limited time on the ship, I'm afraid I don't have very many interesting stories quite yet." He pondered for a moment or three to try to think of anything he hadn't told her yet. His life seemed rather bland and boring short of his two traumatic experiences. Those were the only two stories he could think of to tell.

She did something that he wasn't excepting. She kissed him. "When was your first kiss?" She was curious to know, and he had said to ask him anything. So she was going to take advantage of that. Even if it did get he into a little bit of trouble. She was will to risk it and it was the first question that came to mind.

He smiled softly after she pulled away from the kiss. He pondered her question for a moment, "My first kiss was when I was fifteen. You remember how it was as a teenager. All awkward and such." He laughed, remembering that day. It wasn't incredibly important, not like this was. This was special and he knew that in his heart. "It wasn't anything special, we were just young and thought we knew everything about love. But now, I've learned so much more." He leaned in to return her kiss from earlier. "Now I'm ready to be in love, I don't think I ever was before."

She smiled. "I don't know if I'm ready or not. I guess we'll found out." She laughed softly. "Teenagers always believe they know everything. That hasn't changed and I doubt it ever will." She rested her head back on his chest, wondering what question she should ask next. "What did you do for your first date?"

He nodded, "I hope so. We'll just have to see how it goes and roll with whatever comes our way." He grinned widely, "We were invincible when we were young. And we did know everything. It was the best of times." He stroked her hair and pondered her next question. He shook his head, "I honestly can't remember. I think we had a dance together and dinner. But that was it. How was yours?"

She tried not to smile. "We went to one of the national parks, walked around, talked about everything, and I can't say if I remember having dinner." She sat up and looked at him. "Do you miss being on Earth? I know that the holodeck can do whatever you want it to, but it's just not the same." She looked down at her hands, and sighed. She had already told him stuff, so why did she have to ask if he missed Earth. Every human as far as she knew miss Earth from time to time. She didn't even bother to wait for him to respond. "Favorite dating activity?" She needed the mood to be light or she'd start crying again.

He pondered her question, still lying on the bed looking up at her. "I don't really know. I mean I guess sometimes I do a little bit. But after I graduated there was nothing left for me on Earth. I had no family, nowhere to go and no one to see or talk to. I could have met random strangers but..I thought maybe the stars were where I could find my calling." He sighed softly and went to her next one very quickly, "I haven't honestly been on too many dates, and of those they were mostly dinner. Sometimes there were other things after dinner, but usually that's all it was. This will be a whole new experience for me. I want to do things with you. I don't even care what they are. We can go rock climbing or scuba diving or anything you can wish to do, the holodecks will provide. I think my favorite date though was one girl, all she wanted to do was play chess to see if I was a worthy perspective "mate". Needless to say, she beat me easily three games in a row. After that she left, but I learned a lot, and had fun playing something I never really had before."

She nodded. "I don't like chess, so you're going to need to find a friend that will play with you." She still hadn't looked up from her hands. "Well you know about my parents, so I probably need to explain my missing of Earth. I just like nature, a lot. Earth, along with many other planets, are just beautiful and full of life. If I had my way, I wouldn't have left. Sorry, but I'm just miss Earth. I'm here because this is what my parents wanted. I still did what they wanted even after they disowned me. I guess this sort of proves that I still care what my parents think." She sighed and look at him. "Let's have a light subject. What are some of your favorite activities?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe I'll ask the Captain about it. Chess is a good way to learn about people, and an excellent teacher of strategy. It's quite an efficient tool." He looked at her, "That's one of the reasons you wanted to leave, wasn't it? To go home, to see life and love and live in a beautiful world. I can understand that." He thought about her second statement before answering her next question, "Well we went over my primary polo hobby. Other than that I don't get a whole lot of time off duty to expand my retinue of hobbies. Though I did always enjoy creating rockets and flying kites as a child. I will have to try that again in the holodeck. What do you like to do?"

She smiled. "I never got the chance to fly a kite. I guess I missed out." She thought about what she liked to do. "Ballroom, reading, sleeping, modeling - which is a hobby that I can't do right now, turning the holodeck into an old movie theater and watching the classics. The last one is my favorite. Though I do watch the old films in my quarters sometimes. All depends on rather or not I want to walk to the holodeck." She wondered what to ask him next. "I'm sorry but I have to ask this. Have you seen some classics films? When I say classic, I mean The Godfather or Gone with the Wind." She needed to know if she had to educate him on classic films.

He laughed softly, "Indeed you did. We will have to change that. It's a very thrilling experience, even if you know in the back of your head that it isn't real." He nodded, "I enjoy dancing, reading and sleeping as well. Though the first is something I'm still working on." He shook his head awaiting her disappointment, "No they didn't have a class on classic film in the Academy and my father would have rathered me study physics than have any sort of free time to exercise any hobby or passion that wasn't a hard science or mathematics related activity. You will have to show me. Perhaps that can be another one of our dates."

She was stunned. "I feel like I need to hurt your father, but I can't. Classic films. I can totally make that science or mathematical related. I'm so sad that you never got to enjoy classic films. Several of our dates will be watching classic films. There's so many of them, that I'm really going to need to pick and choose which ones that you have to see. And I would love to fly kites since you say that I've missed out." She knew that she probably offend him by saying that she felt like hurting his dad, but she couldn't help not saying it. "As for the dancing, If you're willing I'd be more than happy to teach you. I'm sorry for saying what I did about your father. I know that if I knew him, I'd probably understand a bit better. Did... never mind. So you had to study math and science. Two subjects that I'm not that good in. I think that'll be my reason for not playing chess with you. Besides the fact that I suck at it. If you don't believe me, I can give you the contact information on my Academy roommate who plays chess all the time. She's actually very good." She figured that this wasn't making the situation better since her comment about his dad. She really didn't mean to sound so surprised or insult his family. "I forget that everyone grows up differently." She didn't know what else to say.

He chuckled softly, "He was respected. But that doesn't hardly go hand in hand with being well liked. I think most of his friends wanted to do him physical harm at one point or another. But I really didn't ever know. We never had those kinds of talks." He shook his head, "Don't be offended or apologetic, you can't hurt him. Nothing can now, his memory lives on in whatever annals he has affected. But other than that..his legacy will be in his work. That is what he wanted." He smiled, "We can do all those things. There's plenty of time for everything. I won't make you play chess, I just thought about it is all when you asked." He sighed, "Well that's true. And everyone hopes to be better parents than theirs were to them. Or at least I would like to think so. I don't really know though. My mother always tried to tell me it was the way my father was with everyone. She was a kind soul. And maybe it was just the way he was. I won't ever know." He shrugged his shoulders, it was really not that important to him anymore.

"Well, you'll love your parents more when you meet mine. If you ever meet mine." She rubbed her neck. "It was still wrong of me to say that. You care about your parents rather or not you realize it. Plus, you'll always have a part of them. I do, even though I wish I didn't." She look away. "I don't know if I could handle being a parent. I'll most likely turn out to be like my parents. Cold and distant." Memories of her childhood and teen years, played a crossed her mind. She felt like crying again. "No one really knows how much time we have. For all you know, I could leave tomorrow and we'll never see each other again. No one can prepare you for the future, even though we all try to anyways." She was debating rather or not to go. A strong part of her wanted her stay, but she had a dumb voice in her head telling her that none of this was going to work out and that there was no point in hoping it will.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Perhaps. I guess we'll just have to see if and when that time comes." He leaned forward as she had and massaged her neck and shoulders for a few moments, "Don't worry so much about it. It was said, and I don't mind. Yes I care about them, but they won't ever know it now." He leaned over and kissed her cheek, "You have a lot of time to figure out if that's what you want. I don't see you as being cold and distant." He rested his head on her shoulder, "Yes, you very well could. That's why I wanted to spend as much time with you as I could. It's your decision to make and I won't stop you. I'll be here waiting if you decide to stay. I can promise that much."

She kissed him. "Thanks. There's something I've got to tell you." She sighed, and bit her lower lip. "I already told my cousin that I was staying. I just don't know what I'm doing yet. There's already two counselors and I haven't talked to the Captain yet. So I guess there's still a good chance that I might not be able to stay. It's really the Captain's choice." She didn't exactly know how he would take it.

He nodded to her and smiled softly, "Well I think that she will let you stay. Or at least I hope so. If that's still what you want to do." He leaned in and returned her kiss, "I'm just happy to spend every moment with you that I can. I wouldn't change that for the world." He wanted to stay in that moment with her forever. But already it was continuing forward through time. "She'll keep us together. But if not..I don't know. I'd be half tempted to follow you, you know that?" He grinned.

"You would?" She asked, a bit surprised. She had never met anyone who would follow her. She breathed and rubbed her eyes. "I can't believe how tired I am. And I find it hard to believe that you would quit this ship and follow me. I've got a good feeling that I'm going to be staying and I'm going to hold onto that feeling. I just hope that Lydia doesn't bring family problems on board. Some things are just left off ship." She laid down on his bed. "You really should get a couch." She was debating on rather or not to fall asleep here or attempt to make to her quarters. She knew that she could sleep on the floor. She did most of the time anyways; just never made it to the bed fast enough.
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Kalen Gespard
Lieutenant (R)
Lieutenant (R)
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Posts : 177
Join date : 2011-12-11
Age : 29

PostSubject: Re: Alyssa/Kalen    Wed Feb 22, 2012 10:59 pm

||USS Fenris
||Kalen's Quarters
||1550

Alyssa didn't even bother to go to her quarters, but went straight for Kalen's. She was upset and needed to be as far away from her cousin as possible. She stood outside his quarters. She swallowed her pride, and pressed the door chime, more than once. She had already decided that if he wasn't in his quarters, she would wait.

Kalen awoke from his half nap and yawned, stretching. He had taken off his uniform and pulled on some jeans and a polo and went to answer the door. He figured it was Alyssa, but he still wasn't quite sure what to say or do. It was such an interesting push and pull for them, he was just happy to be in the moment with her. He opened the door to see her and she looked very upset. He had wondered what had happened in the last few hours, since she had probably not slept as much as she wanted by the looks of things. He didn't say anything, he just pulled her into his arms and held her tight, letting her know that he would protect her if he could from whatever was upsetting her.

She hugged him back. Tears began to slide down her face. She couldn't handle keeping things bottled up anymore. And she wanted to stay more than anything. She wanted to know where this relationship would go and at this moment, she had no choice but to tell him everything. Well... mostly everything. There were a few things she would leave out if she could control herself. Right now, all she wanted was to cry and tell him everything.

He stood in his doorway with her, just holding her. He pulled her back further and wished his quarters had some more furniture in them. They were pretty much standard, chairs and a replicator and a bed. That was really just about it. He would need to get some sort of couch at some point if he kept entertaining people. For the moment though, he could think of nothing better so he walked with her and sat her down on the bed. "Don't get any funny ideas." He smiled at her and winked, sitting down next to her. He wiped her tears away and wrapped his arm around her again, rubbing her shoulder and holding her close. "What happened, Alyssa?" He felt after having a first date, using her first name was appropriate now. He hoped she would agree.

She breathed. She didn't know if she could do this. "My parents want to talk to me. And Lydia, my cousin who's the new counselor, won't drop the subject. My parents are separated and both told me flat out that I was disowned. This happened at the end of my first year at the academy. I went on a illegal spree after that happened for like six months. No one knew where I was or what I had done. It's good that I was able to get my criminal record sealed, before I went back for my second year at the academy." She breathed again, as more tears fell. The memories of that day were still too painful. "I was missing for a year, and my parents didn't care." She sobbed. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm dead to them." She buried her face into his shoulder, and cried. This was the first time she had said it out loud and it hurt.

He held her tight and stroked her hair and her back, just content to be there to comfort her. He listened to her woes but could only relate in the slightest. "My father always tried to get me to become a younger, smaller version of himself. In all of our interactions, it seemed that all he wanted was a clone. But I didn't want to be a clone, so I rebelled, like you. After doing my own adventuring of that sort, I too tried to return home. But the trouble was, there wasn't a home to return to. I found out when I went back that my parents had been killed just weeks before that. I hadn't ever gotten to show my father what I had accomplished in Starfleet. He died thinking I was a degenerate and a fool. You have an idea how much that can hurt. Alyssa, talk to your parents. Because one day they'll be gone, and you'll always regret not saying anything. Trust me...I know." He wiped a tear away from his face and sighed softly, resting his head against hers as she cried into his shoulder. "I know it will be hard. But they still love you. I will come with you to talk to them however you please if you want." He smiled softly and kissed her cheek. "If there's anything I can do to smooth this over and help you, I won't waver from standing by your side."

She shook her head. She knew and understood that he was trying, but she didn't want to. They told her, she was dead to them, making it so that she believed them to be dead as well. It had been too long to make things work or right. It also didn't help that she went and did what they wanted her to do anyways. "I can't." She whispered. She didn't know how to explain that her parents used her against each other, and that their separation had been since she was ten. Plus her parents hated each other and hated her even more. Her dad had learned that she was different from both of them, and tried to fix things a few years back, except she was into too much pain and too closed off for her dad to be able to do anything. "I just... can't." She whispered again. She hoped that he would understand that, but knew that was most unlikely. "I'm dead to them and they're dead to me. It hurts too much. Frankly, I don't believe that they want to speak to me. Ever since I can remember they've used me against each other, and told me often that they hate me. My mom even said that she wished she hadn't had me. I knew that I was unwanted and unloved by the time I was twelve. Just because my parents separated when I was ten, didn't mean anything. They use everyone they come in contact with. I want nothing to do with them." She pushed her face into his shoulder. She cried more. She was having a hard time believing that she was actually telling him this, and that her parents were on speaking term with each other.

He frowned slightly but accepted her reasoning. He was sure he wasn't aware of the full situation, but from how it sounded, it seemed like she was far too wounded to ever consider reconciliation. Perhaps with time and his help she could reach a point where she could talk to her parents again. But he wouldn't press the issue. He didn't know very much about these kinds of things. The people whom he got close to in his past had a nasty habit of dying. He was changing that with this ship though. He wouldn't let that happen here though. He considered all her comments silently. Sometimes the best thing to say wasn't to say anything at all. He just hugged her tight and wondered what spurred this sudden interest in talking to their daughter if her parents didn't like each other as much as she believed and didn't like her even more. He was curious, but he wouldn't interfere in her family life.

She pulled away from him, and wiped her face. She was trying to stop crying. "Sorry for telling you all of that. I just didn't think I could handle it anymore. If you want to know more, I'm sure Lydia would be more than happy to tell you. She'll probably get you to help with whatever plan she has. She wants me to talk to them too." She knew being alone was a dangerous thing, but she didn't want to ruin his night or their relationship by staying. She was already afraid that she had ruin their relationship by telling him about her parents and part of her past. She was more afraid of doing something stupid than anything else. Then realization hit her. They were sitting on his bed. She swallowed and closed her eyes. "You may want to think about getting a couch." She had to keep telling herself to breath, and to fight back the tears that were still coming.

He sighed softly and cupped her cheek with his palm, "Alyssa, I want to be open and honest with you and I want the same in return. Don't ever apologize for telling me things. Especially if they're things that hurt you. I want to be here for you, to help you deal with that pain. I won't betray your trust or try to get you to do something you don't want to. I was just making a suggestion. I wouldn't ever deem to know what's best for you. You know what's best, and I will always be on your side in that." He chuckled softly, "You know? I was just thinking about that earlier. I will have to replicate one or something. I would like you to keep coming back. I want you to feel just as welcome as you would in your own quarters. I have nothing to hide from you." He smiled softly and leaned in, kissing her forehead. "You don't have to go if you're not ready. I'm still here if you want to keep talking. You won't scare me away, Alyssa."

She looked into his eyes. "Kalen, I don't know how to trust someone. I've always been betrayed. I barely talk to my cousins, and they're the family members that I keep in contact with. You've manage to find out about my parents when they don't even know. Lydia would literally kill to know what you know." She had to close her eyes again and breath. "How can you betray my trust when I don't even know how to give it? And how can you say that I won't scare you away? I came to you because I'm afraid I'll do something stupid." She shook her head, then rested it on his chest. "I don't know even know why I told." She knew that the tears were sliding down her cheeks again, but this time she didn't care. She wanted to know what he thought about all of this, and why he's bothering to let her stay. She couldn't even figure out why she was staying.

He looked right back at her before she broke eye contact and held her close again. "Well I will do my best to never let you question me. I won't betray you. Already you've put things in my hands and that's where they will stay until you say otherwise. I appreciate how much you care and trust me, and I feel the same way in return." He shook his head, "I won't tell her. Not a word from my lips, I promise." He smiled softly and ran his fingers through her hair. "I can say you won't scare me away because there is nothing in heaven or on earth you can say that would put me in a place where being with you wasn't my top priority. I see that so clearly that there is nothing to even cast a shadow of doubt in my mind." He laid back with her, not for any physical activity, just to put his back on something. It had started to twinge and he needed to not sit up for a moment or two. "I won't let you go until you tell me to. I'm committed to this relationship, and I'm not going anywhere. I care so much about you Alyssa, and unless you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel the same way, I won't ever stop."

She couldn't help but feel that he was right. "Okay. Thanks for promising. Lydia and her family just got patched up. I don't want them to know." She laid there with him. It felt natural and it reminded her that her body was getting close to falling asleep. She yawned. She knew that either they keep talking or she was going to sleep. She sighed. "I lied." She bit her lower lip, as she listened to his breathing. "I've got one memory of my parents that is happy. Well, it was when I was five. But we were happy. I don't remember where we were, but I remember that it was a lake. We have or had, I don't know if my parents still own it, a cabin/huge house by a lake. We went there one summer, when I was five. It was just the three of us. My parents had taken a week off of work to spend time with me. It was the first summer that I learned how to swim. My dad was teaching me while my mom attempted to make us lunch. My mom can't cook. It was the only time I can remember them not fighting. That one week during the summer. By the way, I'm a terrible swimmer. I know all that's needed to survive." She laughed softly before yawning again. She'd stop crying, but her body was overly tired.

He smiled again, "You're welcome. Like I said, I'd do anything for you. I wouldn't jeopardize your relationship with your cousin. It's important to you, I can see that." He pondered what she said for a moment, and the only thing that came to mind was a flippant joke, so he decided to try to lighten the mood a little. "Well I guess that means you won't come play water polo with me then, now doesn't it?" He grinned at her and returned to his own memories of his family. His father pushing him to be better, to know more. To be everything he could be. Well he was striving for it now. He would be everything that he could be and he would be that way with her. "That's a good memory. Hold on to it. Maybe one day if you're ever ready to talk to them again, that memory will help you know what to say. Not saying you have to, but if you want to you always can." She was yawning, but he wasn't terribly tired having woken up from a nap. "You can sleep here if you want to Alyssa, I won't leave you if you don't want me to. I'll be here when you wake up, and tomorrow will be just as good of a day as today."

"I wouldn't call today a good day. It was a good day gone wrong that end with me here." She yawned again. "I might take you up on your offer. With me yawning so much. I would play water polo, but I don't know how." She admitted. She liked trying new things, and she wouldn't mind doing something he'd enjoy, even if it meant that she had to learn it. Which would be interesting to see. She moved into a position that allowed her to see his face. "No offense, but could we discuss something that isn't my family?" She knew that she probably looked terrible since she had been crying for most of their chat, but she didn't care. She liked the fact that he was allowing her to stay and willing to be there.

He chuckled, "Well alas despite your trials and troubles, I think it was a good day. I got to spend the majority of it with you." He shrugged his shoulders, "There is plenty of time for all that. We have all the time we need to do whatever we want." He ran a hand over her forehead and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, "Certainly. What do you want to talk about? I'll answer any questions you have. Though with my limited time on the ship, I'm afraid I don't have very many interesting stories quite yet." He pondered for a moment or three to try to think of anything he hadn't told her yet. His life seemed rather bland and boring short of his two traumatic experiences. Those were the only two stories he could think of to tell.

She did something that he wasn't excepting. She kissed him. "When was your first kiss?" She was curious to know, and he had said to ask him anything. So she was going to take advantage of that. Even if it did get he into a little bit of trouble. She was will to risk it and it was the first question that came to mind.

He smiled softly after she pulled away from the kiss. He pondered her question for a moment, "My first kiss was when I was fifteen. You remember how it was as a teenager. All awkward and such." He laughed, remembering that day. It wasn't incredibly important, not like this was. This was special and he knew that in his heart. "It wasn't anything special, we were just young and thought we knew everything about love. But now, I've learned so much more." He leaned in to return her kiss from earlier. "Now I'm ready to be in love, I don't think I ever was before."

She smiled. "I don't know if I'm ready or not. I guess we'll found out." She laughed softly. "Teenagers always believe they know everything. That hasn't changed and I doubt it ever will." She rested her head back on his chest, wondering what question she should ask next. "What did you do for your first date?"

He nodded, "I hope so. We'll just have to see how it goes and roll with whatever comes our way." He grinned widely, "We were invincible when we were young. And we did know everything. It was the best of times." He stroked her hair and pondered her next question. He shook his head, "I honestly can't remember. I think we had a dance together and dinner. But that was it. How was yours?"

She tried not to smile. "We went to one of the national parks, walked around, talked about everything, and I can't say if I remember having dinner." She sat up and looked at him. "Do you miss being on Earth? I know that the holodeck can do whatever you want it to, but it's just not the same." She looked down at her hands, and sighed. She had already told him stuff, so why did she have to ask if he missed Earth. Every human as far as she knew miss Earth from time to time. She didn't even bother to wait for him to respond. "Favorite dating activity?" She needed the mood to be light or she'd start crying again.

He pondered her question, still lying on the bed looking up at her. "I don't really know. I mean I guess sometimes I do a little bit. But after I graduated there was nothing left for me on Earth. I had no family, nowhere to go and no one to see or talk to. I could have met random strangers but..I thought maybe the stars were where I could find my calling." He sighed softly and went to her next one very quickly, "I haven't honestly been on too many dates, and of those they were mostly dinner. Sometimes there were other things after dinner, but usually that's all it was. This will be a whole new experience for me. I want to do things with you. I don't even care what they are. We can go rock climbing or scuba diving or anything you can wish to do, the holodecks will provide. I think my favorite date though was one girl, all she wanted to do was play chess to see if I was a worthy perspective "mate". Needless to say, she beat me easily three games in a row. After that she left, but I learned a lot, and had fun playing something I never really had before."

She nodded. "I don't like chess, so you're going to need to find a friend that will play with you." She still hadn't looked up from her hands. "Well you know about my parents, so I probably need to explain my missing of Earth. I just like nature, a lot. Earth, along with many other planets, are just beautiful and full of life. If I had my way, I wouldn't have left. Sorry, but I'm just miss Earth. I'm here because this is what my parents wanted. I still did what they wanted even after they disowned me. I guess this sort of proves that I still care what my parents think." She sighed and look at him. "Let's have a light subject. What are some of your favorite activities?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe I'll ask the Captain about it. Chess is a good way to learn about people, and an excellent teacher of strategy. It's quite an efficient tool." He looked at her, "That's one of the reasons you wanted to leave, wasn't it? To go home, to see life and love and live in a beautiful world. I can understand that." He thought about her second statement before answering her next question, "Well we went over my primary polo hobby. Other than that I don't get a whole lot of time off duty to expand my retinue of hobbies. Though I did always enjoy creating rockets and flying kites as a child. I will have to try that again in the holodeck. What do you like to do?"

She smiled. "I never got the chance to fly a kite. I guess I missed out." She thought about what she liked to do. "Ballroom, reading, sleeping, modeling - which is a hobby that I can't do right now, turning the holodeck into an old movie theater and watching the classics. The last one is my favorite. Though I do watch the old films in my quarters sometimes. All depends on rather or not I want to walk to the holodeck." She wondered what to ask him next. "I'm sorry but I have to ask this. Have you seen some classics films? When I say classic, I mean The Godfather or Gone with the Wind." She needed to know if she had to educate him on classic films.

He laughed softly, "Indeed you did. We will have to change that. It's a very thrilling experience, even if you know in the back of your head that it isn't real." He nodded, "I enjoy dancing, reading and sleeping as well. Though the first is something I'm still working on." He shook his head awaiting her disappointment, "No they didn't have a class on classic film in the Academy and my father would have rathered me study physics than have any sort of free time to exercise any hobby or passion that wasn't a hard science or mathematics related activity. You will have to show me. Perhaps that can be another one of our dates."

She was stunned. "I feel like I need to hurt your father, but I can't. Classic films. I can totally make that science or mathematical related. I'm so sad that you never got to enjoy classic films. Several of our dates will be watching classic films. There's so many of them, that I'm really going to need to pick and choose which ones that you have to see. And I would love to fly kites since you say that I've missed out." She knew that she probably offend him by saying that she felt like hurting his dad, but she couldn't help not saying it. "As for the dancing, If you're willing I'd be more than happy to teach you. I'm sorry for saying what I did about your father. I know that if I knew him, I'd probably understand a bit better. Did... never mind. So you had to study math and science. Two subjects that I'm not that good in. I think that'll be my reason for not playing chess with you. Besides the fact that I suck at it. If you don't believe me, I can give you the contact information on my Academy roommate who plays chess all the time. She's actually very good." She figured that this wasn't making the situation better since her comment about his dad. She really didn't mean to sound so surprised or insult his family. "I forget that everyone grows up differently." She didn't know what else to say.

He chuckled softly, "He was respected. But that doesn't hardly go hand in hand with being well liked. I think most of his friends wanted to do him physical harm at one point or another. But I really didn't ever know. We never had those kinds of talks." He shook his head, "Don't be offended or apologetic, you can't hurt him. Nothing can now, his memory lives on in whatever annals he has affected. But other than that..his legacy will be in his work. That is what he wanted." He smiled, "We can do all those things. There's plenty of time for everything. I won't make you play chess, I just thought about it is all when you asked." He sighed, "Well that's true. And everyone hopes to be better parents than theirs were to them. Or at least I would like to think so. I don't really know though. My mother always tried to tell me it was the way my father was with everyone. She was a kind soul. And maybe it was just the way he was. I won't ever know." He shrugged his shoulders, it was really not that important to him anymore.

"Well, you'll love your parents more when you meet mine. If you ever meet mine." She rubbed her neck. "It was still wrong of me to say that. You care about your parents rather or not you realize it. Plus, you'll always have a part of them. I do, even though I wish I didn't." She look away. "I don't know if I could handle being a parent. I'll most likely turn out to be like my parents. Cold and distant." Memories of her childhood and teen years, played a crossed her mind. She felt like crying again. "No one really knows how much time we have. For all you know, I could leave tomorrow and we'll never see each other again. No one can prepare you for the future, even though we all try to anyways." She was debating rather or not to go. A strong part of her wanted her stay, but she had a dumb voice in her head telling her that none of this was going to work out and that there was no point in hoping it will.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Perhaps. I guess we'll just have to see if and when that time comes." He leaned forward as she had and massaged her neck and shoulders for a few moments, "Don't worry so much about it. It was said, and I don't mind. Yes I care about them, but they won't ever know it now." He leaned over and kissed her cheek, "You have a lot of time to figure out if that's what you want. I don't see you as being cold and distant." He rested his head on her shoulder, "Yes, you very well could. That's why I wanted to spend as much time with you as I could. It's your decision to make and I won't stop you. I'll be here waiting if you decide to stay. I can promise that much."

She kissed him. "Thanks. There's something I've got to tell you." She sighed, and bit her lower lip. "I already told my cousin that I was staying. I just don't know what I'm doing yet. There's already two counselors and I haven't talked to the Captain yet. So I guess there's still a good chance that I might not be able to stay. It's really the Captain's choice." She didn't exactly know how he would take it.

He nodded to her and smiled softly, "Well I think that she will let you stay. Or at least I hope so. If that's still what you want to do." He leaned in and returned her kiss, "I'm just happy to spend every moment with you that I can. I wouldn't change that for the world." He wanted to stay in that moment with her forever. But already it was continuing forward through time. "She'll keep us together. But if not..I don't know. I'd be half tempted to follow you, you know that?" He grinned.

"You would?" She asked, a bit surprised. She had never met anyone who would follow her. She breathed and rubbed her eyes. "I can't believe how tired I am. And I find it hard to believe that you would quit this ship and follow me. I've got a good feeling that I'm going to be staying and I'm going to hold onto that feeling. I just hope that Lydia doesn't bring family problems on board. Some things are just left off ship." She laid down on his bed. "You really should get a couch." She was debating on rather or not to fall asleep here or attempt to make to her quarters. She knew that she could sleep on the floor. She did most of the time anyways; just never made it to the bed fast enough.

He nodded, willing to admit that fully. But he felt in his hear that she wouldn't be going anywhere if she didn't want to. He watched her for a moment and chuckled softly. "We'll both hold onto that feeling, and I hope also that she doesn't bring those things around. Drama isn't necessarily the easiest thing to deal with. We will if we have to, but I hope it doesn't come to that." He grinned and pondered making a joke and decided not to. He looked around the room, "I'll get right on it. Maybe tomorrow." He smiled softly, "But if you're so tired you're welcome to stay. I won't invade your privacy, I'm a man of honor. Or I can carry you back to your quarters." He winked, knowing that one way or the other, their night was over.
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Alyssa Shields
Lieutenant (Y)
Lieutenant (Y)
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Posts : 193
Join date : 2011-10-28
Age : 27

PostSubject: Re: Alyssa/Kalen    Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:00 am

||USS Fenris
||Kalen's Quarters
||1550

Alyssa didn't even bother to go to her quarters, but went straight for Kalen's. She was upset and needed to be as far away from her cousin as possible. She stood outside his quarters. She swallowed her pride, and pressed the door chime, more than once. She had already decided that if he wasn't in his quarters, she would wait.

Kalen awoke from his half nap and yawned, stretching. He had taken off his uniform and pulled on some jeans and a polo and went to answer the door. He figured it was Alyssa, but he still wasn't quite sure what to say or do. It was such an interesting push and pull for them, he was just happy to be in the moment with her. He opened the door to see her and she looked very upset. He had wondered what had happened in the last few hours, since she had probably not slept as much as she wanted by the looks of things. He didn't say anything, he just pulled her into his arms and held her tight, letting her know that he would protect her if he could from whatever was upsetting her.

She hugged him back. Tears began to slide down her face. She couldn't handle keeping things bottled up anymore. And she wanted to stay more than anything. She wanted to know where this relationship would go and at this moment, she had no choice but to tell him everything. Well... mostly everything. There were a few things she would leave out if she could control herself. Right now, all she wanted was to cry and tell him everything.

He stood in his doorway with her, just holding her. He pulled her back further and wished his quarters had some more furniture in them. They were pretty much standard, chairs and a replicator and a bed. That was really just about it. He would need to get some sort of couch at some point if he kept entertaining people. For the moment though, he could think of nothing better so he walked with her and sat her down on the bed. "Don't get any funny ideas." He smiled at her and winked, sitting down next to her. He wiped her tears away and wrapped his arm around her again, rubbing her shoulder and holding her close. "What happened, Alyssa?" He felt after having a first date, using her first name was appropriate now. He hoped she would agree.

She breathed. She didn't know if she could do this. "My parents want to talk to me. And Lydia, my cousin who's the new counselor, won't drop the subject. My parents are separated and both told me flat out that I was disowned. This happened at the end of my first year at the academy. I went on a illegal spree after that happened for like six months. No one knew where I was or what I had done. It's good that I was able to get my criminal record sealed, before I went back for my second year at the academy." She breathed again, as more tears fell. The memories of that day were still too painful. "I was missing for a year, and my parents didn't care." She sobbed. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm dead to them." She buried her face into his shoulder, and cried. This was the first time she had said it out loud and it hurt.

He held her tight and stroked her hair and her back, just content to be there to comfort her. He listened to her woes but could only relate in the slightest. "My father always tried to get me to become a younger, smaller version of himself. In all of our interactions, it seemed that all he wanted was a clone. But I didn't want to be a clone, so I rebelled, like you. After doing my own adventuring of that sort, I too tried to return home. But the trouble was, there wasn't a home to return to. I found out when I went back that my parents had been killed just weeks before that. I hadn't ever gotten to show my father what I had accomplished in Starfleet. He died thinking I was a degenerate and a fool. You have an idea how much that can hurt. Alyssa, talk to your parents. Because one day they'll be gone, and you'll always regret not saying anything. Trust me...I know." He wiped a tear away from his face and sighed softly, resting his head against hers as she cried into his shoulder. "I know it will be hard. But they still love you. I will come with you to talk to them however you please if you want." He smiled softly and kissed her cheek. "If there's anything I can do to smooth this over and help you, I won't waver from standing by your side."

She shook her head. She knew and understood that he was trying, but she didn't want to. They told her, she was dead to them, making it so that she believed them to be dead as well. It had been too long to make things work or right. It also didn't help that she went and did what they wanted her to do anyways. "I can't." She whispered. She didn't know how to explain that her parents used her against each other, and that their separation had been since she was ten. Plus her parents hated each other and hated her even more. Her dad had learned that she was different from both of them, and tried to fix things a few years back, except she was into too much pain and too closed off for her dad to be able to do anything. "I just... can't." She whispered again. She hoped that he would understand that, but knew that was most unlikely. "I'm dead to them and they're dead to me. It hurts too much. Frankly, I don't believe that they want to speak to me. Ever since I can remember they've used me against each other, and told me often that they hate me. My mom even said that she wished she hadn't had me. I knew that I was unwanted and unloved by the time I was twelve. Just because my parents separated when I was ten, didn't mean anything. They use everyone they come in contact with. I want nothing to do with them." She pushed her face into his shoulder. She cried more. She was having a hard time believing that she was actually telling him this, and that her parents were on speaking term with each other.

He frowned slightly but accepted her reasoning. He was sure he wasn't aware of the full situation, but from how it sounded, it seemed like she was far too wounded to ever consider reconciliation. Perhaps with time and his help she could reach a point where she could talk to her parents again. But he wouldn't press the issue. He didn't know very much about these kinds of things. The people whom he got close to in his past had a nasty habit of dying. He was changing that with this ship though. He wouldn't let that happen here though. He considered all her comments silently. Sometimes the best thing to say wasn't to say anything at all. He just hugged her tight and wondered what spurred this sudden interest in talking to their daughter if her parents didn't like each other as much as she believed and didn't like her even more. He was curious, but he wouldn't interfere in her family life.

She pulled away from him, and wiped her face. She was trying to stop crying. "Sorry for telling you all of that. I just didn't think I could handle it anymore. If you want to know more, I'm sure Lydia would be more than happy to tell you. She'll probably get you to help with whatever plan she has. She wants me to talk to them too." She knew being alone was a dangerous thing, but she didn't want to ruin his night or their relationship by staying. She was already afraid that she had ruin their relationship by telling him about her parents and part of her past. She was more afraid of doing something stupid than anything else. Then realization hit her. They were sitting on his bed. She swallowed and closed her eyes. "You may want to think about getting a couch." She had to keep telling herself to breath, and to fight back the tears that were still coming.

He sighed softly and cupped her cheek with his palm, "Alyssa, I want to be open and honest with you and I want the same in return. Don't ever apologize for telling me things. Especially if they're things that hurt you. I want to be here for you, to help you deal with that pain. I won't betray your trust or try to get you to do something you don't want to. I was just making a suggestion. I wouldn't ever deem to know what's best for you. You know what's best, and I will always be on your side in that." He chuckled softly, "You know? I was just thinking about that earlier. I will have to replicate one or something. I would like you to keep coming back. I want you to feel just as welcome as you would in your own quarters. I have nothing to hide from you." He smiled softly and leaned in, kissing her forehead. "You don't have to go if you're not ready. I'm still here if you want to keep talking. You won't scare me away, Alyssa."

She looked into his eyes. "Kalen, I don't know how to trust someone. I've always been betrayed. I barely talk to my cousins, and they're the family members that I keep in contact with. You've manage to find out about my parents when they don't even know. Lydia would literally kill to know what you know." She had to close her eyes again and breath. "How can you betray my trust when I don't even know how to give it? And how can you say that I won't scare you away? I came to you because I'm afraid I'll do something stupid." She shook her head, then rested it on his chest. "I don't know even know why I told." She knew that the tears were sliding down her cheeks again, but this time she didn't care. She wanted to know what he thought about all of this, and why he's bothering to let her stay. She couldn't even figure out why she was staying.

He looked right back at her before she broke eye contact and held her close again. "Well I will do my best to never let you question me. I won't betray you. Already you've put things in my hands and that's where they will stay until you say otherwise. I appreciate how much you care and trust me, and I feel the same way in return." He shook his head, "I won't tell her. Not a word from my lips, I promise." He smiled softly and ran his fingers through her hair. "I can say you won't scare me away because there is nothing in heaven or on earth you can say that would put me in a place where being with you wasn't my top priority. I see that so clearly that there is nothing to even cast a shadow of doubt in my mind." He laid back with her, not for any physical activity, just to put his back on something. It had started to twinge and he needed to not sit up for a moment or two. "I won't let you go until you tell me to. I'm committed to this relationship, and I'm not going anywhere. I care so much about you Alyssa, and unless you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel the same way, I won't ever stop."

She couldn't help but feel that he was right. "Okay. Thanks for promising. Lydia and her family just got patched up. I don't want them to know." She laid there with him. It felt natural and it reminded her that her body was getting close to falling asleep. She yawned. She knew that either they keep talking or she was going to sleep. She sighed. "I lied." She bit her lower lip, as she listened to his breathing. "I've got one memory of my parents that is happy. Well, it was when I was five. But we were happy. I don't remember where we were, but I remember that it was a lake. We have or had, I don't know if my parents still own it, a cabin/huge house by a lake. We went there one summer, when I was five. It was just the three of us. My parents had taken a week off of work to spend time with me. It was the first summer that I learned how to swim. My dad was teaching me while my mom attempted to make us lunch. My mom can't cook. It was the only time I can remember them not fighting. That one week during the summer. By the way, I'm a terrible swimmer. I know all that's needed to survive." She laughed softly before yawning again. She'd stop crying, but her body was overly tired.

He smiled again, "You're welcome. Like I said, I'd do anything for you. I wouldn't jeopardize your relationship with your cousin. It's important to you, I can see that." He pondered what she said for a moment, and the only thing that came to mind was a flippant joke, so he decided to try to lighten the mood a little. "Well I guess that means you won't come play water polo with me then, now doesn't it?" He grinned at her and returned to his own memories of his family. His father pushing him to be better, to know more. To be everything he could be. Well he was striving for it now. He would be everything that he could be and he would be that way with her. "That's a good memory. Hold on to it. Maybe one day if you're ever ready to talk to them again, that memory will help you know what to say. Not saying you have to, but if you want to you always can." She was yawning, but he wasn't terribly tired having woken up from a nap. "You can sleep here if you want to Alyssa, I won't leave you if you don't want me to. I'll be here when you wake up, and tomorrow will be just as good of a day as today."

"I wouldn't call today a good day. It was a good day gone wrong that end with me here." She yawned again. "I might take you up on your offer. With me yawning so much. I would play water polo, but I don't know how." She admitted. She liked trying new things, and she wouldn't mind doing something he'd enjoy, even if it meant that she had to learn it. Which would be interesting to see. She moved into a position that allowed her to see his face. "No offense, but could we discuss something that isn't my family?" She knew that she probably looked terrible since she had been crying for most of their chat, but she didn't care. She liked the fact that he was allowing her to stay and willing to be there.

He chuckled, "Well alas despite your trials and troubles, I think it was a good day. I got to spend the majority of it with you." He shrugged his shoulders, "There is plenty of time for all that. We have all the time we need to do whatever we want." He ran a hand over her forehead and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, "Certainly. What do you want to talk about? I'll answer any questions you have. Though with my limited time on the ship, I'm afraid I don't have very many interesting stories quite yet." He pondered for a moment or three to try to think of anything he hadn't told her yet. His life seemed rather bland and boring short of his two traumatic experiences. Those were the only two stories he could think of to tell.

She did something that he wasn't excepting. She kissed him. "When was your first kiss?" She was curious to know, and he had said to ask him anything. So she was going to take advantage of that. Even if it did get he into a little bit of trouble. She was will to risk it and it was the first question that came to mind.

He smiled softly after she pulled away from the kiss. He pondered her question for a moment, "My first kiss was when I was fifteen. You remember how it was as a teenager. All awkward and such." He laughed, remembering that day. It wasn't incredibly important, not like this was. This was special and he knew that in his heart. "It wasn't anything special, we were just young and thought we knew everything about love. But now, I've learned so much more." He leaned in to return her kiss from earlier. "Now I'm ready to be in love, I don't think I ever was before."

She smiled. "I don't know if I'm ready or not. I guess we'll found out." She laughed softly. "Teenagers always believe they know everything. That hasn't changed and I doubt it ever will." She rested her head back on his chest, wondering what question she should ask next. "What did you do for your first date?"

He nodded, "I hope so. We'll just have to see how it goes and roll with whatever comes our way." He grinned widely, "We were invincible when we were young. And we did know everything. It was the best of times." He stroked her hair and pondered her next question. He shook his head, "I honestly can't remember. I think we had a dance together and dinner. But that was it. How was yours?"

She tried not to smile. "We went to one of the national parks, walked around, talked about everything, and I can't say if I remember having dinner." She sat up and looked at him. "Do you miss being on Earth? I know that the holodeck can do whatever you want it to, but it's just not the same." She looked down at her hands, and sighed. She had already told him stuff, so why did she have to ask if he missed Earth. Every human as far as she knew miss Earth from time to time. She didn't even bother to wait for him to respond. "Favorite dating activity?" She needed the mood to be light or she'd start crying again.

He pondered her question, still lying on the bed looking up at her. "I don't really know. I mean I guess sometimes I do a little bit. But after I graduated there was nothing left for me on Earth. I had no family, nowhere to go and no one to see or talk to. I could have met random strangers but..I thought maybe the stars were where I could find my calling." He sighed softly and went to her next one very quickly, "I haven't honestly been on too many dates, and of those they were mostly dinner. Sometimes there were other things after dinner, but usually that's all it was. This will be a whole new experience for me. I want to do things with you. I don't even care what they are. We can go rock climbing or scuba diving or anything you can wish to do, the holodecks will provide. I think my favorite date though was one girl, all she wanted to do was play chess to see if I was a worthy perspective "mate". Needless to say, she beat me easily three games in a row. After that she left, but I learned a lot, and had fun playing something I never really had before."

She nodded. "I don't like chess, so you're going to need to find a friend that will play with you." She still hadn't looked up from her hands. "Well you know about my parents, so I probably need to explain my missing of Earth. I just like nature, a lot. Earth, along with many other planets, are just beautiful and full of life. If I had my way, I wouldn't have left. Sorry, but I'm just miss Earth. I'm here because this is what my parents wanted. I still did what they wanted even after they disowned me. I guess this sort of proves that I still care what my parents think." She sighed and look at him. "Let's have a light subject. What are some of your favorite activities?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe I'll ask the Captain about it. Chess is a good way to learn about people, and an excellent teacher of strategy. It's quite an efficient tool." He looked at her, "That's one of the reasons you wanted to leave, wasn't it? To go home, to see life and love and live in a beautiful world. I can understand that." He thought about her second statement before answering her next question, "Well we went over my primary polo hobby. Other than that I don't get a whole lot of time off duty to expand my retinue of hobbies. Though I did always enjoy creating rockets and flying kites as a child. I will have to try that again in the holodeck. What do you like to do?"

She smiled. "I never got the chance to fly a kite. I guess I missed out." She thought about what she liked to do. "Ballroom, reading, sleeping, modeling - which is a hobby that I can't do right now, turning the holodeck into an old movie theater and watching the classics. The last one is my favorite. Though I do watch the old films in my quarters sometimes. All depends on rather or not I want to walk to the holodeck." She wondered what to ask him next. "I'm sorry but I have to ask this. Have you seen some classics films? When I say classic, I mean The Godfather or Gone with the Wind." She needed to know if she had to educate him on classic films.

He laughed softly, "Indeed you did. We will have to change that. It's a very thrilling experience, even if you know in the back of your head that it isn't real." He nodded, "I enjoy dancing, reading and sleeping as well. Though the first is something I'm still working on." He shook his head awaiting her disappointment, "No they didn't have a class on classic film in the Academy and my father would have rathered me study physics than have any sort of free time to exercise any hobby or passion that wasn't a hard science or mathematics related activity. You will have to show me. Perhaps that can be another one of our dates."

She was stunned. "I feel like I need to hurt your father, but I can't. Classic films. I can totally make that science or mathematical related. I'm so sad that you never got to enjoy classic films. Several of our dates will be watching classic films. There's so many of them, that I'm really going to need to pick and choose which ones that you have to see. And I would love to fly kites since you say that I've missed out." She knew that she probably offend him by saying that she felt like hurting his dad, but she couldn't help not saying it. "As for the dancing, If you're willing I'd be more than happy to teach you. I'm sorry for saying what I did about your father. I know that if I knew him, I'd probably understand a bit better. Did... never mind. So you had to study math and science. Two subjects that I'm not that good in. I think that'll be my reason for not playing chess with you. Besides the fact that I suck at it. If you don't believe me, I can give you the contact information on my Academy roommate who plays chess all the time. She's actually very good." She figured that this wasn't making the situation better since her comment about his dad. She really didn't mean to sound so surprised or insult his family. "I forget that everyone grows up differently." She didn't know what else to say.

He chuckled softly, "He was respected. But that doesn't hardly go hand in hand with being well liked. I think most of his friends wanted to do him physical harm at one point or another. But I really didn't ever know. We never had those kinds of talks." He shook his head, "Don't be offended or apologetic, you can't hurt him. Nothing can now, his memory lives on in whatever annals he has affected. But other than that..his legacy will be in his work. That is what he wanted." He smiled, "We can do all those things. There's plenty of time for everything. I won't make you play chess, I just thought about it is all when you asked." He sighed, "Well that's true. And everyone hopes to be better parents than theirs were to them. Or at least I would like to think so. I don't really know though. My mother always tried to tell me it was the way my father was with everyone. She was a kind soul. And maybe it was just the way he was. I won't ever know." He shrugged his shoulders, it was really not that important to him anymore.

"Well, you'll love your parents more when you meet mine. If you ever meet mine." She rubbed her neck. "It was still wrong of me to say that. You care about your parents rather or not you realize it. Plus, you'll always have a part of them. I do, even though I wish I didn't." She look away. "I don't know if I could handle being a parent. I'll most likely turn out to be like my parents. Cold and distant." Memories of her childhood and teen years, played a crossed her mind. She felt like crying again. "No one really knows how much time we have. For all you know, I could leave tomorrow and we'll never see each other again. No one can prepare you for the future, even though we all try to anyways." She was debating rather or not to go. A strong part of her wanted her stay, but she had a dumb voice in her head telling her that none of this was going to work out and that there was no point in hoping it will.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Perhaps. I guess we'll just have to see if and when that time comes." He leaned forward as she had and massaged her neck and shoulders for a few moments, "Don't worry so much about it. It was said, and I don't mind. Yes I care about them, but they won't ever know it now." He leaned over and kissed her cheek, "You have a lot of time to figure out if that's what you want. I don't see you as being cold and distant." He rested his head on her shoulder, "Yes, you very well could. That's why I wanted to spend as much time with you as I could. It's your decision to make and I won't stop you. I'll be here waiting if you decide to stay. I can promise that much."

She kissed him. "Thanks. There's something I've got to tell you." She sighed, and bit her lower lip. "I already told my cousin that I was staying. I just don't know what I'm doing yet. There's already two counselors and I haven't talked to the Captain yet. So I guess there's still a good chance that I might not be able to stay. It's really the Captain's choice." She didn't exactly know how he would take it.

He nodded to her and smiled softly, "Well I think that she will let you stay. Or at least I hope so. If that's still what you want to do." He leaned in and returned her kiss, "I'm just happy to spend every moment with you that I can. I wouldn't change that for the world." He wanted to stay in that moment with her forever. But already it was continuing forward through time. "She'll keep us together. But if not..I don't know. I'd be half tempted to follow you, you know that?" He grinned.

"You would?" She asked, a bit surprised. She had never met anyone who would follow her. She breathed and rubbed her eyes. "I can't believe how tired I am. And I find it hard to believe that you would quit this ship and follow me. I've got a good feeling that I'm going to be staying and I'm going to hold onto that feeling. I just hope that Lydia doesn't bring family problems on board. Some things are just left off ship." She laid down on his bed. "You really should get a couch." She was debating on rather or not to fall asleep here or attempt to make to her quarters. She knew that she could sleep on the floor. She did most of the time anyways; just never made it to the bed fast enough.

He nodded, willing to admit that fully. But he felt in his hear that she wouldn't be going anywhere if she didn't want to. He watched her for a moment and chuckled softly. "We'll both hold onto that feeling, and I hope also that she doesn't bring those things around. Drama isn't necessarily the easiest thing to deal with. We will if we have to, but I hope it doesn't come to that." He grinned and pondered making a joke and decided not to. He looked around the room, "I'll get right on it. Maybe tomorrow." He smiled softly, "But if you're so tired you're welcome to stay. I won't invade your privacy, I'm a man of honor. Or I can carry you back to your quarters." He winked, knowing that one way or the other, their night was over.

"You may have to do that. Mainly because I'll probably pass out in the hallway." She replied sleepily. "I'm probably going to be asleep when you decide rather or not to move me. This is why a couch would be good. Because I could be passed out on the couch and you'd still have your bed to sleep in. Wait... that sort of made sense yet not. I'm tired." She knew that she was falling asleep, and she couldn't get her body to move into a sitting position.
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Kalen Gespard
Lieutenant (R)
Lieutenant (R)
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Posts : 177
Join date : 2011-12-11
Age : 29

PostSubject: Re: Alyssa/Kalen    Fri Feb 24, 2012 4:18 am

||USS Fenris
||Kalen's Quarters
||1550

Alyssa didn't even bother to go to her quarters, but went straight for Kalen's. She was upset and needed to be as far away from her cousin as possible. She stood outside his quarters. She swallowed her pride, and pressed the door chime, more than once. She had already decided that if he wasn't in his quarters, she would wait.

Kalen awoke from his half nap and yawned, stretching. He had taken off his uniform and pulled on some jeans and a polo and went to answer the door. He figured it was Alyssa, but he still wasn't quite sure what to say or do. It was such an interesting push and pull for them, he was just happy to be in the moment with her. He opened the door to see her and she looked very upset. He had wondered what had happened in the last few hours, since she had probably not slept as much as she wanted by the looks of things. He didn't say anything, he just pulled her into his arms and held her tight, letting her know that he would protect her if he could from whatever was upsetting her.

She hugged him back. Tears began to slide down her face. She couldn't handle keeping things bottled up anymore. And she wanted to stay more than anything. She wanted to know where this relationship would go and at this moment, she had no choice but to tell him everything. Well... mostly everything. There were a few things she would leave out if she could control herself. Right now, all she wanted was to cry and tell him everything.

He stood in his doorway with her, just holding her. He pulled her back further and wished his quarters had some more furniture in them. They were pretty much standard, chairs and a replicator and a bed. That was really just about it. He would need to get some sort of couch at some point if he kept entertaining people. For the moment though, he could think of nothing better so he walked with her and sat her down on the bed. "Don't get any funny ideas." He smiled at her and winked, sitting down next to her. He wiped her tears away and wrapped his arm around her again, rubbing her shoulder and holding her close. "What happened, Alyssa?" He felt after having a first date, using her first name was appropriate now. He hoped she would agree.

She breathed. She didn't know if she could do this. "My parents want to talk to me. And Lydia, my cousin who's the new counselor, won't drop the subject. My parents are separated and both told me flat out that I was disowned. This happened at the end of my first year at the academy. I went on a illegal spree after that happened for like six months. No one knew where I was or what I had done. It's good that I was able to get my criminal record sealed, before I went back for my second year at the academy." She breathed again, as more tears fell. The memories of that day were still too painful. "I was missing for a year, and my parents didn't care." She sobbed. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm dead to them." She buried her face into his shoulder, and cried. This was the first time she had said it out loud and it hurt.

He held her tight and stroked her hair and her back, just content to be there to comfort her. He listened to her woes but could only relate in the slightest. "My father always tried to get me to become a younger, smaller version of himself. In all of our interactions, it seemed that all he wanted was a clone. But I didn't want to be a clone, so I rebelled, like you. After doing my own adventuring of that sort, I too tried to return home. But the trouble was, there wasn't a home to return to. I found out when I went back that my parents had been killed just weeks before that. I hadn't ever gotten to show my father what I had accomplished in Starfleet. He died thinking I was a degenerate and a fool. You have an idea how much that can hurt. Alyssa, talk to your parents. Because one day they'll be gone, and you'll always regret not saying anything. Trust me...I know." He wiped a tear away from his face and sighed softly, resting his head against hers as she cried into his shoulder. "I know it will be hard. But they still love you. I will come with you to talk to them however you please if you want." He smiled softly and kissed her cheek. "If there's anything I can do to smooth this over and help you, I won't waver from standing by your side."

She shook her head. She knew and understood that he was trying, but she didn't want to. They told her, she was dead to them, making it so that she believed them to be dead as well. It had been too long to make things work or right. It also didn't help that she went and did what they wanted her to do anyways. "I can't." She whispered. She didn't know how to explain that her parents used her against each other, and that their separation had been since she was ten. Plus her parents hated each other and hated her even more. Her dad had learned that she was different from both of them, and tried to fix things a few years back, except she was into too much pain and too closed off for her dad to be able to do anything. "I just... can't." She whispered again. She hoped that he would understand that, but knew that was most unlikely. "I'm dead to them and they're dead to me. It hurts too much. Frankly, I don't believe that they want to speak to me. Ever since I can remember they've used me against each other, and told me often that they hate me. My mom even said that she wished she hadn't had me. I knew that I was unwanted and unloved by the time I was twelve. Just because my parents separated when I was ten, didn't mean anything. They use everyone they come in contact with. I want nothing to do with them." She pushed her face into his shoulder. She cried more. She was having a hard time believing that she was actually telling him this, and that her parents were on speaking term with each other.

He frowned slightly but accepted her reasoning. He was sure he wasn't aware of the full situation, but from how it sounded, it seemed like she was far too wounded to ever consider reconciliation. Perhaps with time and his help she could reach a point where she could talk to her parents again. But he wouldn't press the issue. He didn't know very much about these kinds of things. The people whom he got close to in his past had a nasty habit of dying. He was changing that with this ship though. He wouldn't let that happen here though. He considered all her comments silently. Sometimes the best thing to say wasn't to say anything at all. He just hugged her tight and wondered what spurred this sudden interest in talking to their daughter if her parents didn't like each other as much as she believed and didn't like her even more. He was curious, but he wouldn't interfere in her family life.

She pulled away from him, and wiped her face. She was trying to stop crying. "Sorry for telling you all of that. I just didn't think I could handle it anymore. If you want to know more, I'm sure Lydia would be more than happy to tell you. She'll probably get you to help with whatever plan she has. She wants me to talk to them too." She knew being alone was a dangerous thing, but she didn't want to ruin his night or their relationship by staying. She was already afraid that she had ruin their relationship by telling him about her parents and part of her past. She was more afraid of doing something stupid than anything else. Then realization hit her. They were sitting on his bed. She swallowed and closed her eyes. "You may want to think about getting a couch." She had to keep telling herself to breath, and to fight back the tears that were still coming.

He sighed softly and cupped her cheek with his palm, "Alyssa, I want to be open and honest with you and I want the same in return. Don't ever apologize for telling me things. Especially if they're things that hurt you. I want to be here for you, to help you deal with that pain. I won't betray your trust or try to get you to do something you don't want to. I was just making a suggestion. I wouldn't ever deem to know what's best for you. You know what's best, and I will always be on your side in that." He chuckled softly, "You know? I was just thinking about that earlier. I will have to replicate one or something. I would like you to keep coming back. I want you to feel just as welcome as you would in your own quarters. I have nothing to hide from you." He smiled softly and leaned in, kissing her forehead. "You don't have to go if you're not ready. I'm still here if you want to keep talking. You won't scare me away, Alyssa."

She looked into his eyes. "Kalen, I don't know how to trust someone. I've always been betrayed. I barely talk to my cousins, and they're the family members that I keep in contact with. You've manage to find out about my parents when they don't even know. Lydia would literally kill to know what you know." She had to close her eyes again and breath. "How can you betray my trust when I don't even know how to give it? And how can you say that I won't scare you away? I came to you because I'm afraid I'll do something stupid." She shook her head, then rested it on his chest. "I don't know even know why I told." She knew that the tears were sliding down her cheeks again, but this time she didn't care. She wanted to know what he thought about all of this, and why he's bothering to let her stay. She couldn't even figure out why she was staying.

He looked right back at her before she broke eye contact and held her close again. "Well I will do my best to never let you question me. I won't betray you. Already you've put things in my hands and that's where they will stay until you say otherwise. I appreciate how much you care and trust me, and I feel the same way in return." He shook his head, "I won't tell her. Not a word from my lips, I promise." He smiled softly and ran his fingers through her hair. "I can say you won't scare me away because there is nothing in heaven or on earth you can say that would put me in a place where being with you wasn't my top priority. I see that so clearly that there is nothing to even cast a shadow of doubt in my mind." He laid back with her, not for any physical activity, just to put his back on something. It had started to twinge and he needed to not sit up for a moment or two. "I won't let you go until you tell me to. I'm committed to this relationship, and I'm not going anywhere. I care so much about you Alyssa, and unless you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel the same way, I won't ever stop."

She couldn't help but feel that he was right. "Okay. Thanks for promising. Lydia and her family just got patched up. I don't want them to know." She laid there with him. It felt natural and it reminded her that her body was getting close to falling asleep. She yawned. She knew that either they keep talking or she was going to sleep. She sighed. "I lied." She bit her lower lip, as she listened to his breathing. "I've got one memory of my parents that is happy. Well, it was when I was five. But we were happy. I don't remember where we were, but I remember that it was a lake. We have or had, I don't know if my parents still own it, a cabin/huge house by a lake. We went there one summer, when I was five. It was just the three of us. My parents had taken a week off of work to spend time with me. It was the first summer that I learned how to swim. My dad was teaching me while my mom attempted to make us lunch. My mom can't cook. It was the only time I can remember them not fighting. That one week during the summer. By the way, I'm a terrible swimmer. I know all that's needed to survive." She laughed softly before yawning again. She'd stop crying, but her body was overly tired.

He smiled again, "You're welcome. Like I said, I'd do anything for you. I wouldn't jeopardize your relationship with your cousin. It's important to you, I can see that." He pondered what she said for a moment, and the only thing that came to mind was a flippant joke, so he decided to try to lighten the mood a little. "Well I guess that means you won't come play water polo with me then, now doesn't it?" He grinned at her and returned to his own memories of his family. His father pushing him to be better, to know more. To be everything he could be. Well he was striving for it now. He would be everything that he could be and he would be that way with her. "That's a good memory. Hold on to it. Maybe one day if you're ever ready to talk to them again, that memory will help you know what to say. Not saying you have to, but if you want to you always can." She was yawning, but he wasn't terribly tired having woken up from a nap. "You can sleep here if you want to Alyssa, I won't leave you if you don't want me to. I'll be here when you wake up, and tomorrow will be just as good of a day as today."

"I wouldn't call today a good day. It was a good day gone wrong that end with me here." She yawned again. "I might take you up on your offer. With me yawning so much. I would play water polo, but I don't know how." She admitted. She liked trying new things, and she wouldn't mind doing something he'd enjoy, even if it meant that she had to learn it. Which would be interesting to see. She moved into a position that allowed her to see his face. "No offense, but could we discuss something that isn't my family?" She knew that she probably looked terrible since she had been crying for most of their chat, but she didn't care. She liked the fact that he was allowing her to stay and willing to be there.

He chuckled, "Well alas despite your trials and troubles, I think it was a good day. I got to spend the majority of it with you." He shrugged his shoulders, "There is plenty of time for all that. We have all the time we need to do whatever we want." He ran a hand over her forehead and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, "Certainly. What do you want to talk about? I'll answer any questions you have. Though with my limited time on the ship, I'm afraid I don't have very many interesting stories quite yet." He pondered for a moment or three to try to think of anything he hadn't told her yet. His life seemed rather bland and boring short of his two traumatic experiences. Those were the only two stories he could think of to tell.

She did something that he wasn't excepting. She kissed him. "When was your first kiss?" She was curious to know, and he had said to ask him anything. So she was going to take advantage of that. Even if it did get he into a little bit of trouble. She was will to risk it and it was the first question that came to mind.

He smiled softly after she pulled away from the kiss. He pondered her question for a moment, "My first kiss was when I was fifteen. You remember how it was as a teenager. All awkward and such." He laughed, remembering that day. It wasn't incredibly important, not like this was. This was special and he knew that in his heart. "It wasn't anything special, we were just young and thought we knew everything about love. But now, I've learned so much more." He leaned in to return her kiss from earlier. "Now I'm ready to be in love, I don't think I ever was before."

She smiled. "I don't know if I'm ready or not. I guess we'll found out." She laughed softly. "Teenagers always believe they know everything. That hasn't changed and I doubt it ever will." She rested her head back on his chest, wondering what question she should ask next. "What did you do for your first date?"

He nodded, "I hope so. We'll just have to see how it goes and roll with whatever comes our way." He grinned widely, "We were invincible when we were young. And we did know everything. It was the best of times." He stroked her hair and pondered her next question. He shook his head, "I honestly can't remember. I think we had a dance together and dinner. But that was it. How was yours?"

She tried not to smile. "We went to one of the national parks, walked around, talked about everything, and I can't say if I remember having dinner." She sat up and looked at him. "Do you miss being on Earth? I know that the holodeck can do whatever you want it to, but it's just not the same." She looked down at her hands, and sighed. She had already told him stuff, so why did she have to ask if he missed Earth. Every human as far as she knew miss Earth from time to time. She didn't even bother to wait for him to respond. "Favorite dating activity?" She needed the mood to be light or she'd start crying again.

He pondered her question, still lying on the bed looking up at her. "I don't really know. I mean I guess sometimes I do a little bit. But after I graduated there was nothing left for me on Earth. I had no family, nowhere to go and no one to see or talk to. I could have met random strangers but..I thought maybe the stars were where I could find my calling." He sighed softly and went to her next one very quickly, "I haven't honestly been on too many dates, and of those they were mostly dinner. Sometimes there were other things after dinner, but usually that's all it was. This will be a whole new experience for me. I want to do things with you. I don't even care what they are. We can go rock climbing or scuba diving or anything you can wish to do, the holodecks will provide. I think my favorite date though was one girl, all she wanted to do was play chess to see if I was a worthy perspective "mate". Needless to say, she beat me easily three games in a row. After that she left, but I learned a lot, and had fun playing something I never really had before."

She nodded. "I don't like chess, so you're going to need to find a friend that will play with you." She still hadn't looked up from her hands. "Well you know about my parents, so I probably need to explain my missing of Earth. I just like nature, a lot. Earth, along with many other planets, are just beautiful and full of life. If I had my way, I wouldn't have left. Sorry, but I'm just miss Earth. I'm here because this is what my parents wanted. I still did what they wanted even after they disowned me. I guess this sort of proves that I still care what my parents think." She sighed and look at him. "Let's have a light subject. What are some of your favorite activities?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe I'll ask the Captain about it. Chess is a good way to learn about people, and an excellent teacher of strategy. It's quite an efficient tool." He looked at her, "That's one of the reasons you wanted to leave, wasn't it? To go home, to see life and love and live in a beautiful world. I can understand that." He thought about her second statement before answering her next question, "Well we went over my primary polo hobby. Other than that I don't get a whole lot of time off duty to expand my retinue of hobbies. Though I did always enjoy creating rockets and flying kites as a child. I will have to try that again in the holodeck. What do you like to do?"

She smiled. "I never got the chance to fly a kite. I guess I missed out." She thought about what she liked to do. "Ballroom, reading, sleeping, modeling - which is a hobby that I can't do right now, turning the holodeck into an old movie theater and watching the classics. The last one is my favorite. Though I do watch the old films in my quarters sometimes. All depends on rather or not I want to walk to the holodeck." She wondered what to ask him next. "I'm sorry but I have to ask this. Have you seen some classics films? When I say classic, I mean The Godfather or Gone with the Wind." She needed to know if she had to educate him on classic films.

He laughed softly, "Indeed you did. We will have to change that. It's a very thrilling experience, even if you know in the back of your head that it isn't real." He nodded, "I enjoy dancing, reading and sleeping as well. Though the first is something I'm still working on." He shook his head awaiting her disappointment, "No they didn't have a class on classic film in the Academy and my father would have rathered me study physics than have any sort of free time to exercise any hobby or passion that wasn't a hard science or mathematics related activity. You will have to show me. Perhaps that can be another one of our dates."

She was stunned. "I feel like I need to hurt your father, but I can't. Classic films. I can totally make that science or mathematical related. I'm so sad that you never got to enjoy classic films. Several of our dates will be watching classic films. There's so many of them, that I'm really going to need to pick and choose which ones that you have to see. And I would love to fly kites since you say that I've missed out." She knew that she probably offend him by saying that she felt like hurting his dad, but she couldn't help not saying it. "As for the dancing, If you're willing I'd be more than happy to teach you. I'm sorry for saying what I did about your father. I know that if I knew him, I'd probably understand a bit better. Did... never mind. So you had to study math and science. Two subjects that I'm not that good in. I think that'll be my reason for not playing chess with you. Besides the fact that I suck at it. If you don't believe me, I can give you the contact information on my Academy roommate who plays chess all the time. She's actually very good." She figured that this wasn't making the situation better since her comment about his dad. She really didn't mean to sound so surprised or insult his family. "I forget that everyone grows up differently." She didn't know what else to say.

He chuckled softly, "He was respected. But that doesn't hardly go hand in hand with being well liked. I think most of his friends wanted to do him physical harm at one point or another. But I really didn't ever know. We never had those kinds of talks." He shook his head, "Don't be offended or apologetic, you can't hurt him. Nothing can now, his memory lives on in whatever annals he has affected. But other than that..his legacy will be in his work. That is what he wanted." He smiled, "We can do all those things. There's plenty of time for everything. I won't make you play chess, I just thought about it is all when you asked." He sighed, "Well that's true. And everyone hopes to be better parents than theirs were to them. Or at least I would like to think so. I don't really know though. My mother always tried to tell me it was the way my father was with everyone. She was a kind soul. And maybe it was just the way he was. I won't ever know." He shrugged his shoulders, it was really not that important to him anymore.

"Well, you'll love your parents more when you meet mine. If you ever meet mine." She rubbed her neck. "It was still wrong of me to say that. You care about your parents rather or not you realize it. Plus, you'll always have a part of them. I do, even though I wish I didn't." She look away. "I don't know if I could handle being a parent. I'll most likely turn out to be like my parents. Cold and distant." Memories of her childhood and teen years, played a crossed her mind. She felt like crying again. "No one really knows how much time we have. For all you know, I could leave tomorrow and we'll never see each other again. No one can prepare you for the future, even though we all try to anyways." She was debating rather or not to go. A strong part of her wanted her stay, but she had a dumb voice in her head telling her that none of this was going to work out and that there was no point in hoping it will.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Perhaps. I guess we'll just have to see if and when that time comes." He leaned forward as she had and massaged her neck and shoulders for a few moments, "Don't worry so much about it. It was said, and I don't mind. Yes I care about them, but they won't ever know it now." He leaned over and kissed her cheek, "You have a lot of time to figure out if that's what you want. I don't see you as being cold and distant." He rested his head on her shoulder, "Yes, you very well could. That's why I wanted to spend as much time with you as I could. It's your decision to make and I won't stop you. I'll be here waiting if you decide to stay. I can promise that much."

She kissed him. "Thanks. There's something I've got to tell you." She sighed, and bit her lower lip. "I already told my cousin that I was staying. I just don't know what I'm doing yet. There's already two counselors and I haven't talked to the Captain yet. So I guess there's still a good chance that I might not be able to stay. It's really the Captain's choice." She didn't exactly know how he would take it.

He nodded to her and smiled softly, "Well I think that she will let you stay. Or at least I hope so. If that's still what you want to do." He leaned in and returned her kiss, "I'm just happy to spend every moment with you that I can. I wouldn't change that for the world." He wanted to stay in that moment with her forever. But already it was continuing forward through time. "She'll keep us together. But if not..I don't know. I'd be half tempted to follow you, you know that?" He grinned.

"You would?" She asked, a bit surprised. She had never met anyone who would follow her. She breathed and rubbed her eyes. "I can't believe how tired I am. And I find it hard to believe that you would quit this ship and follow me. I've got a good feeling that I'm going to be staying and I'm going to hold onto that feeling. I just hope that Lydia doesn't bring family problems on board. Some things are just left off ship." She laid down on his bed. "You really should get a couch." She was debating on rather or not to fall asleep here or attempt to make to her quarters. She knew that she could sleep on the floor. She did most of the time anyways; just never made it to the bed fast enough.

He nodded, willing to admit that fully. But he felt in his hear that she wouldn't be going anywhere if she didn't want to. He watched her for a moment and chuckled softly. "We'll both hold onto that feeling, and I hope also that she doesn't bring those things around. Drama isn't necessarily the easiest thing to deal with. We will if we have to, but I hope it doesn't come to that." He grinned and pondered making a joke and decided not to. He looked around the room, "I'll get right on it. Maybe tomorrow." He smiled softly, "But if you're so tired you're welcome to stay. I won't invade your privacy, I'm a man of honor. Or I can carry you back to your quarters." He winked, knowing that one way or the other, their night was over.

"You may have to do that. Mainly because I'll probably pass out in the hallway." She replied sleepily. "I'm probably going to be asleep when you decide rather or not to move me. This is why a couch would be good. Because I could be passed out on the couch and you'd still have your bed to sleep in. Wait... that sort of made sense yet not. I'm tired." She knew that she was falling asleep, and she couldn't get her body to move into a sitting position.

He shrugged his shoulders and played with her hair for a moment before coming back to the real world, "Well whatever you want Alyssa. I won't invade your privacy if you sleep up on my bed. That will be fine. But yes, tomorrow I will get that couch." He laughed, "But we're adults, we can sleep in the same bed without being intimate if you don't care." He just smiled at her and offered his hand if she wanted him to take her back to her quarters.
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Alyssa Shields
Lieutenant (Y)
Lieutenant (Y)
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Posts : 193
Join date : 2011-10-28
Age : 27

PostSubject: Re: Alyssa/Kalen    Fri Feb 24, 2012 1:00 pm

||USS Fenris
||Kalen's Quarters
||1550

Alyssa didn't even bother to go to her quarters, but went straight for Kalen's. She was upset and needed to be as far away from her cousin as possible. She stood outside his quarters. She swallowed her pride, and pressed the door chime, more than once. She had already decided that if he wasn't in his quarters, she would wait.

Kalen awoke from his half nap and yawned, stretching. He had taken off his uniform and pulled on some jeans and a polo and went to answer the door. He figured it was Alyssa, but he still wasn't quite sure what to say or do. It was such an interesting push and pull for them, he was just happy to be in the moment with her. He opened the door to see her and she looked very upset. He had wondered what had happened in the last few hours, since she had probably not slept as much as she wanted by the looks of things. He didn't say anything, he just pulled her into his arms and held her tight, letting her know that he would protect her if he could from whatever was upsetting her.

She hugged him back. Tears began to slide down her face. She couldn't handle keeping things bottled up anymore. And she wanted to stay more than anything. She wanted to know where this relationship would go and at this moment, she had no choice but to tell him everything. Well... mostly everything. There were a few things she would leave out if she could control herself. Right now, all she wanted was to cry and tell him everything.

He stood in his doorway with her, just holding her. He pulled her back further and wished his quarters had some more furniture in them. They were pretty much standard, chairs and a replicator and a bed. That was really just about it. He would need to get some sort of couch at some point if he kept entertaining people. For the moment though, he could think of nothing better so he walked with her and sat her down on the bed. "Don't get any funny ideas." He smiled at her and winked, sitting down next to her. He wiped her tears away and wrapped his arm around her again, rubbing her shoulder and holding her close. "What happened, Alyssa?" He felt after having a first date, using her first name was appropriate now. He hoped she would agree.

She breathed. She didn't know if she could do this. "My parents want to talk to me. And Lydia, my cousin who's the new counselor, won't drop the subject. My parents are separated and both told me flat out that I was disowned. This happened at the end of my first year at the academy. I went on a illegal spree after that happened for like six months. No one knew where I was or what I had done. It's good that I was able to get my criminal record sealed, before I went back for my second year at the academy." She breathed again, as more tears fell. The memories of that day were still too painful. "I was missing for a year, and my parents didn't care." She sobbed. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm dead to them." She buried her face into his shoulder, and cried. This was the first time she had said it out loud and it hurt.

He held her tight and stroked her hair and her back, just content to be there to comfort her. He listened to her woes but could only relate in the slightest. "My father always tried to get me to become a younger, smaller version of himself. In all of our interactions, it seemed that all he wanted was a clone. But I didn't want to be a clone, so I rebelled, like you. After doing my own adventuring of that sort, I too tried to return home. But the trouble was, there wasn't a home to return to. I found out when I went back that my parents had been killed just weeks before that. I hadn't ever gotten to show my father what I had accomplished in Starfleet. He died thinking I was a degenerate and a fool. You have an idea how much that can hurt. Alyssa, talk to your parents. Because one day they'll be gone, and you'll always regret not saying anything. Trust me...I know." He wiped a tear away from his face and sighed softly, resting his head against hers as she cried into his shoulder. "I know it will be hard. But they still love you. I will come with you to talk to them however you please if you want." He smiled softly and kissed her cheek. "If there's anything I can do to smooth this over and help you, I won't waver from standing by your side."

She shook her head. She knew and understood that he was trying, but she didn't want to. They told her, she was dead to them, making it so that she believed them to be dead as well. It had been too long to make things work or right. It also didn't help that she went and did what they wanted her to do anyways. "I can't." She whispered. She didn't know how to explain that her parents used her against each other, and that their separation had been since she was ten. Plus her parents hated each other and hated her even more. Her dad had learned that she was different from both of them, and tried to fix things a few years back, except she was into too much pain and too closed off for her dad to be able to do anything. "I just... can't." She whispered again. She hoped that he would understand that, but knew that was most unlikely. "I'm dead to them and they're dead to me. It hurts too much. Frankly, I don't believe that they want to speak to me. Ever since I can remember they've used me against each other, and told me often that they hate me. My mom even said that she wished she hadn't had me. I knew that I was unwanted and unloved by the time I was twelve. Just because my parents separated when I was ten, didn't mean anything. They use everyone they come in contact with. I want nothing to do with them." She pushed her face into his shoulder. She cried more. She was having a hard time believing that she was actually telling him this, and that her parents were on speaking term with each other.

He frowned slightly but accepted her reasoning. He was sure he wasn't aware of the full situation, but from how it sounded, it seemed like she was far too wounded to ever consider reconciliation. Perhaps with time and his help she could reach a point where she could talk to her parents again. But he wouldn't press the issue. He didn't know very much about these kinds of things. The people whom he got close to in his past had a nasty habit of dying. He was changing that with this ship though. He wouldn't let that happen here though. He considered all her comments silently. Sometimes the best thing to say wasn't to say anything at all. He just hugged her tight and wondered what spurred this sudden interest in talking to their daughter if her parents didn't like each other as much as she believed and didn't like her even more. He was curious, but he wouldn't interfere in her family life.

She pulled away from him, and wiped her face. She was trying to stop crying. "Sorry for telling you all of that. I just didn't think I could handle it anymore. If you want to know more, I'm sure Lydia would be more than happy to tell you. She'll probably get you to help with whatever plan she has. She wants me to talk to them too." She knew being alone was a dangerous thing, but she didn't want to ruin his night or their relationship by staying. She was already afraid that she had ruin their relationship by telling him about her parents and part of her past. She was more afraid of doing something stupid than anything else. Then realization hit her. They were sitting on his bed. She swallowed and closed her eyes. "You may want to think about getting a couch." She had to keep telling herself to breath, and to fight back the tears that were still coming.

He sighed softly and cupped her cheek with his palm, "Alyssa, I want to be open and honest with you and I want the same in return. Don't ever apologize for telling me things. Especially if they're things that hurt you. I want to be here for you, to help you deal with that pain. I won't betray your trust or try to get you to do something you don't want to. I was just making a suggestion. I wouldn't ever deem to know what's best for you. You know what's best, and I will always be on your side in that." He chuckled softly, "You know? I was just thinking about that earlier. I will have to replicate one or something. I would like you to keep coming back. I want you to feel just as welcome as you would in your own quarters. I have nothing to hide from you." He smiled softly and leaned in, kissing her forehead. "You don't have to go if you're not ready. I'm still here if you want to keep talking. You won't scare me away, Alyssa."

She looked into his eyes. "Kalen, I don't know how to trust someone. I've always been betrayed. I barely talk to my cousins, and they're the family members that I keep in contact with. You've manage to find out about my parents when they don't even know. Lydia would literally kill to know what you know." She had to close her eyes again and breath. "How can you betray my trust when I don't even know how to give it? And how can you say that I won't scare you away? I came to you because I'm afraid I'll do something stupid." She shook her head, then rested it on his chest. "I don't know even know why I told." She knew that the tears were sliding down her cheeks again, but this time she didn't care. She wanted to know what he thought about all of this, and why he's bothering to let her stay. She couldn't even figure out why she was staying.

He looked right back at her before she broke eye contact and held her close again. "Well I will do my best to never let you question me. I won't betray you. Already you've put things in my hands and that's where they will stay until you say otherwise. I appreciate how much you care and trust me, and I feel the same way in return." He shook his head, "I won't tell her. Not a word from my lips, I promise." He smiled softly and ran his fingers through her hair. "I can say you won't scare me away because there is nothing in heaven or on earth you can say that would put me in a place where being with you wasn't my top priority. I see that so clearly that there is nothing to even cast a shadow of doubt in my mind." He laid back with her, not for any physical activity, just to put his back on something. It had started to twinge and he needed to not sit up for a moment or two. "I won't let you go until you tell me to. I'm committed to this relationship, and I'm not going anywhere. I care so much about you Alyssa, and unless you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel the same way, I won't ever stop."

She couldn't help but feel that he was right. "Okay. Thanks for promising. Lydia and her family just got patched up. I don't want them to know." She laid there with him. It felt natural and it reminded her that her body was getting close to falling asleep. She yawned. She knew that either they keep talking or she was going to sleep. She sighed. "I lied." She bit her lower lip, as she listened to his breathing. "I've got one memory of my parents that is happy. Well, it was when I was five. But we were happy. I don't remember where we were, but I remember that it was a lake. We have or had, I don't know if my parents still own it, a cabin/huge house by a lake. We went there one summer, when I was five. It was just the three of us. My parents had taken a week off of work to spend time with me. It was the first summer that I learned how to swim. My dad was teaching me while my mom attempted to make us lunch. My mom can't cook. It was the only time I can remember them not fighting. That one week during the summer. By the way, I'm a terrible swimmer. I know all that's needed to survive." She laughed softly before yawning again. She'd stop crying, but her body was overly tired.

He smiled again, "You're welcome. Like I said, I'd do anything for you. I wouldn't jeopardize your relationship with your cousin. It's important to you, I can see that." He pondered what she said for a moment, and the only thing that came to mind was a flippant joke, so he decided to try to lighten the mood a little. "Well I guess that means you won't come play water polo with me then, now doesn't it?" He grinned at her and returned to his own memories of his family. His father pushing him to be better, to know more. To be everything he could be. Well he was striving for it now. He would be everything that he could be and he would be that way with her. "That's a good memory. Hold on to it. Maybe one day if you're ever ready to talk to them again, that memory will help you know what to say. Not saying you have to, but if you want to you always can." She was yawning, but he wasn't terribly tired having woken up from a nap. "You can sleep here if you want to Alyssa, I won't leave you if you don't want me to. I'll be here when you wake up, and tomorrow will be just as good of a day as today."

"I wouldn't call today a good day. It was a good day gone wrong that end with me here." She yawned again. "I might take you up on your offer. With me yawning so much. I would play water polo, but I don't know how." She admitted. She liked trying new things, and she wouldn't mind doing something he'd enjoy, even if it meant that she had to learn it. Which would be interesting to see. She moved into a position that allowed her to see his face. "No offense, but could we discuss something that isn't my family?" She knew that she probably looked terrible since she had been crying for most of their chat, but she didn't care. She liked the fact that he was allowing her to stay and willing to be there.

He chuckled, "Well alas despite your trials and troubles, I think it was a good day. I got to spend the majority of it with you." He shrugged his shoulders, "There is plenty of time for all that. We have all the time we need to do whatever we want." He ran a hand over her forehead and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, "Certainly. What do you want to talk about? I'll answer any questions you have. Though with my limited time on the ship, I'm afraid I don't have very many interesting stories quite yet." He pondered for a moment or three to try to think of anything he hadn't told her yet. His life seemed rather bland and boring short of his two traumatic experiences. Those were the only two stories he could think of to tell.

She did something that he wasn't excepting. She kissed him. "When was your first kiss?" She was curious to know, and he had said to ask him anything. So she was going to take advantage of that. Even if it did get he into a little bit of trouble. She was will to risk it and it was the first question that came to mind.

He smiled softly after she pulled away from the kiss. He pondered her question for a moment, "My first kiss was when I was fifteen. You remember how it was as a teenager. All awkward and such." He laughed, remembering that day. It wasn't incredibly important, not like this was. This was special and he knew that in his heart. "It wasn't anything special, we were just young and thought we knew everything about love. But now, I've learned so much more." He leaned in to return her kiss from earlier. "Now I'm ready to be in love, I don't think I ever was before."

She smiled. "I don't know if I'm ready or not. I guess we'll found out." She laughed softly. "Teenagers always believe they know everything. That hasn't changed and I doubt it ever will." She rested her head back on his chest, wondering what question she should ask next. "What did you do for your first date?"

He nodded, "I hope so. We'll just have to see how it goes and roll with whatever comes our way." He grinned widely, "We were invincible when we were young. And we did know everything. It was the best of times." He stroked her hair and pondered her next question. He shook his head, "I honestly can't remember. I think we had a dance together and dinner. But that was it. How was yours?"

She tried not to smile. "We went to one of the national parks, walked around, talked about everything, and I can't say if I remember having dinner." She sat up and looked at him. "Do you miss being on Earth? I know that the holodeck can do whatever you want it to, but it's just not the same." She looked down at her hands, and sighed. She had already told him stuff, so why did she have to ask if he missed Earth. Every human as far as she knew miss Earth from time to time. She didn't even bother to wait for him to respond. "Favorite dating activity?" She needed the mood to be light or she'd start crying again.

He pondered her question, still lying on the bed looking up at her. "I don't really know. I mean I guess sometimes I do a little bit. But after I graduated there was nothing left for me on Earth. I had no family, nowhere to go and no one to see or talk to. I could have met random strangers but..I thought maybe the stars were where I could find my calling." He sighed softly and went to her next one very quickly, "I haven't honestly been on too many dates, and of those they were mostly dinner. Sometimes there were other things after dinner, but usually that's all it was. This will be a whole new experience for me. I want to do things with you. I don't even care what they are. We can go rock climbing or scuba diving or anything you can wish to do, the holodecks will provide. I think my favorite date though was one girl, all she wanted to do was play chess to see if I was a worthy perspective "mate". Needless to say, she beat me easily three games in a row. After that she left, but I learned a lot, and had fun playing something I never really had before."

She nodded. "I don't like chess, so you're going to need to find a friend that will play with you." She still hadn't looked up from her hands. "Well you know about my parents, so I probably need to explain my missing of Earth. I just like nature, a lot. Earth, along with many other planets, are just beautiful and full of life. If I had my way, I wouldn't have left. Sorry, but I'm just miss Earth. I'm here because this is what my parents wanted. I still did what they wanted even after they disowned me. I guess this sort of proves that I still care what my parents think." She sighed and look at him. "Let's have a light subject. What are some of your favorite activities?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe I'll ask the Captain about it. Chess is a good way to learn about people, and an excellent teacher of strategy. It's quite an efficient tool." He looked at her, "That's one of the reasons you wanted to leave, wasn't it? To go home, to see life and love and live in a beautiful world. I can understand that." He thought about her second statement before answering her next question, "Well we went over my primary polo hobby. Other than that I don't get a whole lot of time off duty to expand my retinue of hobbies. Though I did always enjoy creating rockets and flying kites as a child. I will have to try that again in the holodeck. What do you like to do?"

She smiled. "I never got the chance to fly a kite. I guess I missed out." She thought about what she liked to do. "Ballroom, reading, sleeping, modeling - which is a hobby that I can't do right now, turning the holodeck into an old movie theater and watching the classics. The last one is my favorite. Though I do watch the old films in my quarters sometimes. All depends on rather or not I want to walk to the holodeck." She wondered what to ask him next. "I'm sorry but I have to ask this. Have you seen some classics films? When I say classic, I mean The Godfather or Gone with the Wind." She needed to know if she had to educate him on classic films.

He laughed softly, "Indeed you did. We will have to change that. It's a very thrilling experience, even if you know in the back of your head that it isn't real." He nodded, "I enjoy dancing, reading and sleeping as well. Though the first is something I'm still working on." He shook his head awaiting her disappointment, "No they didn't have a class on classic film in the Academy and my father would have rathered me study physics than have any sort of free time to exercise any hobby or passion that wasn't a hard science or mathematics related activity. You will have to show me. Perhaps that can be another one of our dates."

She was stunned. "I feel like I need to hurt your father, but I can't. Classic films. I can totally make that science or mathematical related. I'm so sad that you never got to enjoy classic films. Several of our dates will be watching classic films. There's so many of them, that I'm really going to need to pick and choose which ones that you have to see. And I would love to fly kites since you say that I've missed out." She knew that she probably offend him by saying that she felt like hurting his dad, but she couldn't help not saying it. "As for the dancing, If you're willing I'd be more than happy to teach you. I'm sorry for saying what I did about your father. I know that if I knew him, I'd probably understand a bit better. Did... never mind. So you had to study math and science. Two subjects that I'm not that good in. I think that'll be my reason for not playing chess with you. Besides the fact that I suck at it. If you don't believe me, I can give you the contact information on my Academy roommate who plays chess all the time. She's actually very good." She figured that this wasn't making the situation better since her comment about his dad. She really didn't mean to sound so surprised or insult his family. "I forget that everyone grows up differently." She didn't know what else to say.

He chuckled softly, "He was respected. But that doesn't hardly go hand in hand with being well liked. I think most of his friends wanted to do him physical harm at one point or another. But I really didn't ever know. We never had those kinds of talks." He shook his head, "Don't be offended or apologetic, you can't hurt him. Nothing can now, his memory lives on in whatever annals he has affected. But other than that..his legacy will be in his work. That is what he wanted." He smiled, "We can do all those things. There's plenty of time for everything. I won't make you play chess, I just thought about it is all when you asked." He sighed, "Well that's true. And everyone hopes to be better parents than theirs were to them. Or at least I would like to think so. I don't really know though. My mother always tried to tell me it was the way my father was with everyone. She was a kind soul. And maybe it was just the way he was. I won't ever know." He shrugged his shoulders, it was really not that important to him anymore.

"Well, you'll love your parents more when you meet mine. If you ever meet mine." She rubbed her neck. "It was still wrong of me to say that. You care about your parents rather or not you realize it. Plus, you'll always have a part of them. I do, even though I wish I didn't." She look away. "I don't know if I could handle being a parent. I'll most likely turn out to be like my parents. Cold and distant." Memories of her childhood and teen years, played a crossed her mind. She felt like crying again. "No one really knows how much time we have. For all you know, I could leave tomorrow and we'll never see each other again. No one can prepare you for the future, even though we all try to anyways." She was debating rather or not to go. A strong part of her wanted her stay, but she had a dumb voice in her head telling her that none of this was going to work out and that there was no point in hoping it will.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Perhaps. I guess we'll just have to see if and when that time comes." He leaned forward as she had and massaged her neck and shoulders for a few moments, "Don't worry so much about it. It was said, and I don't mind. Yes I care about them, but they won't ever know it now." He leaned over and kissed her cheek, "You have a lot of time to figure out if that's what you want. I don't see you as being cold and distant." He rested his head on her shoulder, "Yes, you very well could. That's why I wanted to spend as much time with you as I could. It's your decision to make and I won't stop you. I'll be here waiting if you decide to stay. I can promise that much."

She kissed him. "Thanks. There's something I've got to tell you." She sighed, and bit her lower lip. "I already told my cousin that I was staying. I just don't know what I'm doing yet. There's already two counselors and I haven't talked to the Captain yet. So I guess there's still a good chance that I might not be able to stay. It's really the Captain's choice." She didn't exactly know how he would take it.

He nodded to her and smiled softly, "Well I think that she will let you stay. Or at least I hope so. If that's still what you want to do." He leaned in and returned her kiss, "I'm just happy to spend every moment with you that I can. I wouldn't change that for the world." He wanted to stay in that moment with her forever. But already it was continuing forward through time. "She'll keep us together. But if not..I don't know. I'd be half tempted to follow you, you know that?" He grinned.

"You would?" She asked, a bit surprised. She had never met anyone who would follow her. She breathed and rubbed her eyes. "I can't believe how tired I am. And I find it hard to believe that you would quit this ship and follow me. I've got a good feeling that I'm going to be staying and I'm going to hold onto that feeling. I just hope that Lydia doesn't bring family problems on board. Some things are just left off ship." She laid down on his bed. "You really should get a couch." She was debating on rather or not to fall asleep here or attempt to make to her quarters. She knew that she could sleep on the floor. She did most of the time anyways; just never made it to the bed fast enough.

He nodded, willing to admit that fully. But he felt in his hear that she wouldn't be going anywhere if she didn't want to. He watched her for a moment and chuckled softly. "We'll both hold onto that feeling, and I hope also that she doesn't bring those things around. Drama isn't necessarily the easiest thing to deal with. We will if we have to, but I hope it doesn't come to that." He grinned and pondered making a joke and decided not to. He looked around the room, "I'll get right on it. Maybe tomorrow." He smiled softly, "But if you're so tired you're welcome to stay. I won't invade your privacy, I'm a man of honor. Or I can carry you back to your quarters." He winked, knowing that one way or the other, their night was over.

"You may have to do that. Mainly because I'll probably pass out in the hallway." She replied sleepily. "I'm probably going to be asleep when you decide rather or not to move me. This is why a couch would be good. Because I could be passed out on the couch and you'd still have your bed to sleep in. Wait... that sort of made sense yet not. I'm tired." She knew that she was falling asleep, and she couldn't get her body to move into a sitting position.

He shrugged his shoulders and played with her hair for a moment before coming back to the real world, "Well whatever you want Alyssa. I won't invade your privacy if you sleep up on my bed. That will be fine. But yes, tomorrow I will get that couch." He laughed, "But we're adults, we can sleep in the same bed without being intimate if you don't care." He just smiled at her and offered his hand if she wanted him to take her back to her quarters.

She stared at him then looked at his hand. "Are you being a gentlemen?" She hoped that was the right term. She rarely used, so she didn't know what exactly to do. Didn't help that she was falling asleep, and wouldn't mind staying if the 'I should go sleep in my own quarters' feeling would go away. She signed, and took his hand.
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Kalen Gespard
Lieutenant (R)
Lieutenant (R)
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Posts : 177
Join date : 2011-12-11
Age : 29

PostSubject: Re: Alyssa/Kalen    Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:06 pm

||USS Fenris
||Kalen's Quarters
||1550

Alyssa didn't even bother to go to her quarters, but went straight for Kalen's. She was upset and needed to be as far away from her cousin as possible. She stood outside his quarters. She swallowed her pride, and pressed the door chime, more than once. She had already decided that if he wasn't in his quarters, she would wait.

Kalen awoke from his half nap and yawned, stretching. He had taken off his uniform and pulled on some jeans and a polo and went to answer the door. He figured it was Alyssa, but he still wasn't quite sure what to say or do. It was such an interesting push and pull for them, he was just happy to be in the moment with her. He opened the door to see her and she looked very upset. He had wondered what had happened in the last few hours, since she had probably not slept as much as she wanted by the looks of things. He didn't say anything, he just pulled her into his arms and held her tight, letting her know that he would protect her if he could from whatever was upsetting her.

She hugged him back. Tears began to slide down her face. She couldn't handle keeping things bottled up anymore. And she wanted to stay more than anything. She wanted to know where this relationship would go and at this moment, she had no choice but to tell him everything. Well... mostly everything. There were a few things she would leave out if she could control herself. Right now, all she wanted was to cry and tell him everything.

He stood in his doorway with her, just holding her. He pulled her back further and wished his quarters had some more furniture in them. They were pretty much standard, chairs and a replicator and a bed. That was really just about it. He would need to get some sort of couch at some point if he kept entertaining people. For the moment though, he could think of nothing better so he walked with her and sat her down on the bed. "Don't get any funny ideas." He smiled at her and winked, sitting down next to her. He wiped her tears away and wrapped his arm around her again, rubbing her shoulder and holding her close. "What happened, Alyssa?" He felt after having a first date, using her first name was appropriate now. He hoped she would agree.

She breathed. She didn't know if she could do this. "My parents want to talk to me. And Lydia, my cousin who's the new counselor, won't drop the subject. My parents are separated and both told me flat out that I was disowned. This happened at the end of my first year at the academy. I went on a illegal spree after that happened for like six months. No one knew where I was or what I had done. It's good that I was able to get my criminal record sealed, before I went back for my second year at the academy." She breathed again, as more tears fell. The memories of that day were still too painful. "I was missing for a year, and my parents didn't care." She sobbed. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm dead to them." She buried her face into his shoulder, and cried. This was the first time she had said it out loud and it hurt.

He held her tight and stroked her hair and her back, just content to be there to comfort her. He listened to her woes but could only relate in the slightest. "My father always tried to get me to become a younger, smaller version of himself. In all of our interactions, it seemed that all he wanted was a clone. But I didn't want to be a clone, so I rebelled, like you. After doing my own adventuring of that sort, I too tried to return home. But the trouble was, there wasn't a home to return to. I found out when I went back that my parents had been killed just weeks before that. I hadn't ever gotten to show my father what I had accomplished in Starfleet. He died thinking I was a degenerate and a fool. You have an idea how much that can hurt. Alyssa, talk to your parents. Because one day they'll be gone, and you'll always regret not saying anything. Trust me...I know." He wiped a tear away from his face and sighed softly, resting his head against hers as she cried into his shoulder. "I know it will be hard. But they still love you. I will come with you to talk to them however you please if you want." He smiled softly and kissed her cheek. "If there's anything I can do to smooth this over and help you, I won't waver from standing by your side."

She shook her head. She knew and understood that he was trying, but she didn't want to. They told her, she was dead to them, making it so that she believed them to be dead as well. It had been too long to make things work or right. It also didn't help that she went and did what they wanted her to do anyways. "I can't." She whispered. She didn't know how to explain that her parents used her against each other, and that their separation had been since she was ten. Plus her parents hated each other and hated her even more. Her dad had learned that she was different from both of them, and tried to fix things a few years back, except she was into too much pain and too closed off for her dad to be able to do anything. "I just... can't." She whispered again. She hoped that he would understand that, but knew that was most unlikely. "I'm dead to them and they're dead to me. It hurts too much. Frankly, I don't believe that they want to speak to me. Ever since I can remember they've used me against each other, and told me often that they hate me. My mom even said that she wished she hadn't had me. I knew that I was unwanted and unloved by the time I was twelve. Just because my parents separated when I was ten, didn't mean anything. They use everyone they come in contact with. I want nothing to do with them." She pushed her face into his shoulder. She cried more. She was having a hard time believing that she was actually telling him this, and that her parents were on speaking term with each other.

He frowned slightly but accepted her reasoning. He was sure he wasn't aware of the full situation, but from how it sounded, it seemed like she was far too wounded to ever consider reconciliation. Perhaps with time and his help she could reach a point where she could talk to her parents again. But he wouldn't press the issue. He didn't know very much about these kinds of things. The people whom he got close to in his past had a nasty habit of dying. He was changing that with this ship though. He wouldn't let that happen here though. He considered all her comments silently. Sometimes the best thing to say wasn't to say anything at all. He just hugged her tight and wondered what spurred this sudden interest in talking to their daughter if her parents didn't like each other as much as she believed and didn't like her even more. He was curious, but he wouldn't interfere in her family life.

She pulled away from him, and wiped her face. She was trying to stop crying. "Sorry for telling you all of that. I just didn't think I could handle it anymore. If you want to know more, I'm sure Lydia would be more than happy to tell you. She'll probably get you to help with whatever plan she has. She wants me to talk to them too." She knew being alone was a dangerous thing, but she didn't want to ruin his night or their relationship by staying. She was already afraid that she had ruin their relationship by telling him about her parents and part of her past. She was more afraid of doing something stupid than anything else. Then realization hit her. They were sitting on his bed. She swallowed and closed her eyes. "You may want to think about getting a couch." She had to keep telling herself to breath, and to fight back the tears that were still coming.

He sighed softly and cupped her cheek with his palm, "Alyssa, I want to be open and honest with you and I want the same in return. Don't ever apologize for telling me things. Especially if they're things that hurt you. I want to be here for you, to help you deal with that pain. I won't betray your trust or try to get you to do something you don't want to. I was just making a suggestion. I wouldn't ever deem to know what's best for you. You know what's best, and I will always be on your side in that." He chuckled softly, "You know? I was just thinking about that earlier. I will have to replicate one or something. I would like you to keep coming back. I want you to feel just as welcome as you would in your own quarters. I have nothing to hide from you." He smiled softly and leaned in, kissing her forehead. "You don't have to go if you're not ready. I'm still here if you want to keep talking. You won't scare me away, Alyssa."

She looked into his eyes. "Kalen, I don't know how to trust someone. I've always been betrayed. I barely talk to my cousins, and they're the family members that I keep in contact with. You've manage to find out about my parents when they don't even know. Lydia would literally kill to know what you know." She had to close her eyes again and breath. "How can you betray my trust when I don't even know how to give it? And how can you say that I won't scare you away? I came to you because I'm afraid I'll do something stupid." She shook her head, then rested it on his chest. "I don't know even know why I told." She knew that the tears were sliding down her cheeks again, but this time she didn't care. She wanted to know what he thought about all of this, and why he's bothering to let her stay. She couldn't even figure out why she was staying.

He looked right back at her before she broke eye contact and held her close again. "Well I will do my best to never let you question me. I won't betray you. Already you've put things in my hands and that's where they will stay until you say otherwise. I appreciate how much you care and trust me, and I feel the same way in return." He shook his head, "I won't tell her. Not a word from my lips, I promise." He smiled softly and ran his fingers through her hair. "I can say you won't scare me away because there is nothing in heaven or on earth you can say that would put me in a place where being with you wasn't my top priority. I see that so clearly that there is nothing to even cast a shadow of doubt in my mind." He laid back with her, not for any physical activity, just to put his back on something. It had started to twinge and he needed to not sit up for a moment or two. "I won't let you go until you tell me to. I'm committed to this relationship, and I'm not going anywhere. I care so much about you Alyssa, and unless you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel the same way, I won't ever stop."

She couldn't help but feel that he was right. "Okay. Thanks for promising. Lydia and her family just got patched up. I don't want them to know." She laid there with him. It felt natural and it reminded her that her body was getting close to falling asleep. She yawned. She knew that either they keep talking or she was going to sleep. She sighed. "I lied." She bit her lower lip, as she listened to his breathing. "I've got one memory of my parents that is happy. Well, it was when I was five. But we were happy. I don't remember where we were, but I remember that it was a lake. We have or had, I don't know if my parents still own it, a cabin/huge house by a lake. We went there one summer, when I was five. It was just the three of us. My parents had taken a week off of work to spend time with me. It was the first summer that I learned how to swim. My dad was teaching me while my mom attempted to make us lunch. My mom can't cook. It was the only time I can remember them not fighting. That one week during the summer. By the way, I'm a terrible swimmer. I know all that's needed to survive." She laughed softly before yawning again. She'd stop crying, but her body was overly tired.

He smiled again, "You're welcome. Like I said, I'd do anything for you. I wouldn't jeopardize your relationship with your cousin. It's important to you, I can see that." He pondered what she said for a moment, and the only thing that came to mind was a flippant joke, so he decided to try to lighten the mood a little. "Well I guess that means you won't come play water polo with me then, now doesn't it?" He grinned at her and returned to his own memories of his family. His father pushing him to be better, to know more. To be everything he could be. Well he was striving for it now. He would be everything that he could be and he would be that way with her. "That's a good memory. Hold on to it. Maybe one day if you're ever ready to talk to them again, that memory will help you know what to say. Not saying you have to, but if you want to you always can." She was yawning, but he wasn't terribly tired having woken up from a nap. "You can sleep here if you want to Alyssa, I won't leave you if you don't want me to. I'll be here when you wake up, and tomorrow will be just as good of a day as today."

"I wouldn't call today a good day. It was a good day gone wrong that end with me here." She yawned again. "I might take you up on your offer. With me yawning so much. I would play water polo, but I don't know how." She admitted. She liked trying new things, and she wouldn't mind doing something he'd enjoy, even if it meant that she had to learn it. Which would be interesting to see. She moved into a position that allowed her to see his face. "No offense, but could we discuss something that isn't my family?" She knew that she probably looked terrible since she had been crying for most of their chat, but she didn't care. She liked the fact that he was allowing her to stay and willing to be there.

He chuckled, "Well alas despite your trials and troubles, I think it was a good day. I got to spend the majority of it with you." He shrugged his shoulders, "There is plenty of time for all that. We have all the time we need to do whatever we want." He ran a hand over her forehead and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, "Certainly. What do you want to talk about? I'll answer any questions you have. Though with my limited time on the ship, I'm afraid I don't have very many interesting stories quite yet." He pondered for a moment or three to try to think of anything he hadn't told her yet. His life seemed rather bland and boring short of his two traumatic experiences. Those were the only two stories he could think of to tell.

She did something that he wasn't excepting. She kissed him. "When was your first kiss?" She was curious to know, and he had said to ask him anything. So she was going to take advantage of that. Even if it did get he into a little bit of trouble. She was will to risk it and it was the first question that came to mind.

He smiled softly after she pulled away from the kiss. He pondered her question for a moment, "My first kiss was when I was fifteen. You remember how it was as a teenager. All awkward and such." He laughed, remembering that day. It wasn't incredibly important, not like this was. This was special and he knew that in his heart. "It wasn't anything special, we were just young and thought we knew everything about love. But now, I've learned so much more." He leaned in to return her kiss from earlier. "Now I'm ready to be in love, I don't think I ever was before."

She smiled. "I don't know if I'm ready or not. I guess we'll found out." She laughed softly. "Teenagers always believe they know everything. That hasn't changed and I doubt it ever will." She rested her head back on his chest, wondering what question she should ask next. "What did you do for your first date?"

He nodded, "I hope so. We'll just have to see how it goes and roll with whatever comes our way." He grinned widely, "We were invincible when we were young. And we did know everything. It was the best of times." He stroked her hair and pondered her next question. He shook his head, "I honestly can't remember. I think we had a dance together and dinner. But that was it. How was yours?"

She tried not to smile. "We went to one of the national parks, walked around, talked about everything, and I can't say if I remember having dinner." She sat up and looked at him. "Do you miss being on Earth? I know that the holodeck can do whatever you want it to, but it's just not the same." She looked down at her hands, and sighed. She had already told him stuff, so why did she have to ask if he missed Earth. Every human as far as she knew miss Earth from time to time. She didn't even bother to wait for him to respond. "Favorite dating activity?" She needed the mood to be light or she'd start crying again.

He pondered her question, still lying on the bed looking up at her. "I don't really know. I mean I guess sometimes I do a little bit. But after I graduated there was nothing left for me on Earth. I had no family, nowhere to go and no one to see or talk to. I could have met random strangers but..I thought maybe the stars were where I could find my calling." He sighed softly and went to her next one very quickly, "I haven't honestly been on too many dates, and of those they were mostly dinner. Sometimes there were other things after dinner, but usually that's all it was. This will be a whole new experience for me. I want to do things with you. I don't even care what they are. We can go rock climbing or scuba diving or anything you can wish to do, the holodecks will provide. I think my favorite date though was one girl, all she wanted to do was play chess to see if I was a worthy perspective "mate". Needless to say, she beat me easily three games in a row. After that she left, but I learned a lot, and had fun playing something I never really had before."

She nodded. "I don't like chess, so you're going to need to find a friend that will play with you." She still hadn't looked up from her hands. "Well you know about my parents, so I probably need to explain my missing of Earth. I just like nature, a lot. Earth, along with many other planets, are just beautiful and full of life. If I had my way, I wouldn't have left. Sorry, but I'm just miss Earth. I'm here because this is what my parents wanted. I still did what they wanted even after they disowned me. I guess this sort of proves that I still care what my parents think." She sighed and look at him. "Let's have a light subject. What are some of your favorite activities?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe I'll ask the Captain about it. Chess is a good way to learn about people, and an excellent teacher of strategy. It's quite an efficient tool." He looked at her, "That's one of the reasons you wanted to leave, wasn't it? To go home, to see life and love and live in a beautiful world. I can understand that." He thought about her second statement before answering her next question, "Well we went over my primary polo hobby. Other than that I don't get a whole lot of time off duty to expand my retinue of hobbies. Though I did always enjoy creating rockets and flying kites as a child. I will have to try that again in the holodeck. What do you like to do?"

She smiled. "I never got the chance to fly a kite. I guess I missed out." She thought about what she liked to do. "Ballroom, reading, sleeping, modeling - which is a hobby that I can't do right now, turning the holodeck into an old movie theater and watching the classics. The last one is my favorite. Though I do watch the old films in my quarters sometimes. All depends on rather or not I want to walk to the holodeck." She wondered what to ask him next. "I'm sorry but I have to ask this. Have you seen some classics films? When I say classic, I mean The Godfather or Gone with the Wind." She needed to know if she had to educate him on classic films.

He laughed softly, "Indeed you did. We will have to change that. It's a very thrilling experience, even if you know in the back of your head that it isn't real." He nodded, "I enjoy dancing, reading and sleeping as well. Though the first is something I'm still working on." He shook his head awaiting her disappointment, "No they didn't have a class on classic film in the Academy and my father would have rathered me study physics than have any sort of free time to exercise any hobby or passion that wasn't a hard science or mathematics related activity. You will have to show me. Perhaps that can be another one of our dates."

She was stunned. "I feel like I need to hurt your father, but I can't. Classic films. I can totally make that science or mathematical related. I'm so sad that you never got to enjoy classic films. Several of our dates will be watching classic films. There's so many of them, that I'm really going to need to pick and choose which ones that you have to see. And I would love to fly kites since you say that I've missed out." She knew that she probably offend him by saying that she felt like hurting his dad, but she couldn't help not saying it. "As for the dancing, If you're willing I'd be more than happy to teach you. I'm sorry for saying what I did about your father. I know that if I knew him, I'd probably understand a bit better. Did... never mind. So you had to study math and science. Two subjects that I'm not that good in. I think that'll be my reason for not playing chess with you. Besides the fact that I suck at it. If you don't believe me, I can give you the contact information on my Academy roommate who plays chess all the time. She's actually very good." She figured that this wasn't making the situation better since her comment about his dad. She really didn't mean to sound so surprised or insult his family. "I forget that everyone grows up differently." She didn't know what else to say.

He chuckled softly, "He was respected. But that doesn't hardly go hand in hand with being well liked. I think most of his friends wanted to do him physical harm at one point or another. But I really didn't ever know. We never had those kinds of talks." He shook his head, "Don't be offended or apologetic, you can't hurt him. Nothing can now, his memory lives on in whatever annals he has affected. But other than that..his legacy will be in his work. That is what he wanted." He smiled, "We can do all those things. There's plenty of time for everything. I won't make you play chess, I just thought about it is all when you asked." He sighed, "Well that's true. And everyone hopes to be better parents than theirs were to them. Or at least I would like to think so. I don't really know though. My mother always tried to tell me it was the way my father was with everyone. She was a kind soul. And maybe it was just the way he was. I won't ever know." He shrugged his shoulders, it was really not that important to him anymore.

"Well, you'll love your parents more when you meet mine. If you ever meet mine." She rubbed her neck. "It was still wrong of me to say that. You care about your parents rather or not you realize it. Plus, you'll always have a part of them. I do, even though I wish I didn't." She look away. "I don't know if I could handle being a parent. I'll most likely turn out to be like my parents. Cold and distant." Memories of her childhood and teen years, played a crossed her mind. She felt like crying again. "No one really knows how much time we have. For all you know, I could leave tomorrow and we'll never see each other again. No one can prepare you for the future, even though we all try to anyways." She was debating rather or not to go. A strong part of her wanted her stay, but she had a dumb voice in her head telling her that none of this was going to work out and that there was no point in hoping it will.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Perhaps. I guess we'll just have to see if and when that time comes." He leaned forward as she had and massaged her neck and shoulders for a few moments, "Don't worry so much about it. It was said, and I don't mind. Yes I care about them, but they won't ever know it now." He leaned over and kissed her cheek, "You have a lot of time to figure out if that's what you want. I don't see you as being cold and distant." He rested his head on her shoulder, "Yes, you very well could. That's why I wanted to spend as much time with you as I could. It's your decision to make and I won't stop you. I'll be here waiting if you decide to stay. I can promise that much."

She kissed him. "Thanks. There's something I've got to tell you." She sighed, and bit her lower lip. "I already told my cousin that I was staying. I just don't know what I'm doing yet. There's already two counselors and I haven't talked to the Captain yet. So I guess there's still a good chance that I might not be able to stay. It's really the Captain's choice." She didn't exactly know how he would take it.

He nodded to her and smiled softly, "Well I think that she will let you stay. Or at least I hope so. If that's still what you want to do." He leaned in and returned her kiss, "I'm just happy to spend every moment with you that I can. I wouldn't change that for the world." He wanted to stay in that moment with her forever. But already it was continuing forward through time. "She'll keep us together. But if not..I don't know. I'd be half tempted to follow you, you know that?" He grinned.

"You would?" She asked, a bit surprised. She had never met anyone who would follow her. She breathed and rubbed her eyes. "I can't believe how tired I am. And I find it hard to believe that you would quit this ship and follow me. I've got a good feeling that I'm going to be staying and I'm going to hold onto that feeling. I just hope that Lydia doesn't bring family problems on board. Some things are just left off ship." She laid down on his bed. "You really should get a couch." She was debating on rather or not to fall asleep here or attempt to make to her quarters. She knew that she could sleep on the floor. She did most of the time anyways; just never made it to the bed fast enough.

He nodded, willing to admit that fully. But he felt in his hear that she wouldn't be going anywhere if she didn't want to. He watched her for a moment and chuckled softly. "We'll both hold onto that feeling, and I hope also that she doesn't bring those things around. Drama isn't necessarily the easiest thing to deal with. We will if we have to, but I hope it doesn't come to that." He grinned and pondered making a joke and decided not to. He looked around the room, "I'll get right on it. Maybe tomorrow." He smiled softly, "But if you're so tired you're welcome to stay. I won't invade your privacy, I'm a man of honor. Or I can carry you back to your quarters." He winked, knowing that one way or the other, their night was over.

"You may have to do that. Mainly because I'll probably pass out in the hallway." She replied sleepily. "I'm probably going to be asleep when you decide rather or not to move me. This is why a couch would be good. Because I could be passed out on the couch and you'd still have your bed to sleep in. Wait... that sort of made sense yet not. I'm tired." She knew that she was falling asleep, and she couldn't get her body to move into a sitting position.

He shrugged his shoulders and played with her hair for a moment before coming back to the real world, "Well whatever you want Alyssa. I won't invade your privacy if you sleep up on my bed. That will be fine. But yes, tomorrow I will get that couch." He laughed, "But we're adults, we can sleep in the same bed without being intimate if you don't care." He just smiled at her and offered his hand if she wanted him to take her back to her quarters.

She stared at him then looked at his hand. "Are you being a gentlemen?" She hoped that was the right term. She rarely used, so she didn't know what exactly to do. Didn't help that she was falling asleep, and wouldn't mind staying if the 'I should go sleep in my own quarters' feeling would go away. She signed, and took his hand.

He smiled softly and pulled her up into his arms after he took her hand, "There's no rush for anything. We have time enough to explore all our avenues. But yes, I am being a gentleman." He smiled down at her and slipped his arm around her shoulders and under her knees, lifting her from his bed. He carried her to the door and exited out into the hall, careful with her as he took her to her quarters so she could sleep in her own bed.
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Alyssa Shields
Lieutenant (Y)
Lieutenant (Y)
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Posts : 193
Join date : 2011-10-28
Age : 27

PostSubject: Re: Alyssa/Kalen    Mon Feb 27, 2012 1:08 pm

||USS Fenris
||Kalen's Quarters
||1550

Alyssa didn't even bother to go to her quarters, but went straight for Kalen's. She was upset and needed to be as far away from her cousin as possible. She stood outside his quarters. She swallowed her pride, and pressed the door chime, more than once. She had already decided that if he wasn't in his quarters, she would wait.

Kalen awoke from his half nap and yawned, stretching. He had taken off his uniform and pulled on some jeans and a polo and went to answer the door. He figured it was Alyssa, but he still wasn't quite sure what to say or do. It was such an interesting push and pull for them, he was just happy to be in the moment with her. He opened the door to see her and she looked very upset. He had wondered what had happened in the last few hours, since she had probably not slept as much as she wanted by the looks of things. He didn't say anything, he just pulled her into his arms and held her tight, letting her know that he would protect her if he could from whatever was upsetting her.

She hugged him back. Tears began to slide down her face. She couldn't handle keeping things bottled up anymore. And she wanted to stay more than anything. She wanted to know where this relationship would go and at this moment, she had no choice but to tell him everything. Well... mostly everything. There were a few things she would leave out if she could control herself. Right now, all she wanted was to cry and tell him everything.

He stood in his doorway with her, just holding her. He pulled her back further and wished his quarters had some more furniture in them. They were pretty much standard, chairs and a replicator and a bed. That was really just about it. He would need to get some sort of couch at some point if he kept entertaining people. For the moment though, he could think of nothing better so he walked with her and sat her down on the bed. "Don't get any funny ideas." He smiled at her and winked, sitting down next to her. He wiped her tears away and wrapped his arm around her again, rubbing her shoulder and holding her close. "What happened, Alyssa?" He felt after having a first date, using her first name was appropriate now. He hoped she would agree.

She breathed. She didn't know if she could do this. "My parents want to talk to me. And Lydia, my cousin who's the new counselor, won't drop the subject. My parents are separated and both told me flat out that I was disowned. This happened at the end of my first year at the academy. I went on a illegal spree after that happened for like six months. No one knew where I was or what I had done. It's good that I was able to get my criminal record sealed, before I went back for my second year at the academy." She breathed again, as more tears fell. The memories of that day were still too painful. "I was missing for a year, and my parents didn't care." She sobbed. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm dead to them." She buried her face into his shoulder, and cried. This was the first time she had said it out loud and it hurt.

He held her tight and stroked her hair and her back, just content to be there to comfort her. He listened to her woes but could only relate in the slightest. "My father always tried to get me to become a younger, smaller version of himself. In all of our interactions, it seemed that all he wanted was a clone. But I didn't want to be a clone, so I rebelled, like you. After doing my own adventuring of that sort, I too tried to return home. But the trouble was, there wasn't a home to return to. I found out when I went back that my parents had been killed just weeks before that. I hadn't ever gotten to show my father what I had accomplished in Starfleet. He died thinking I was a degenerate and a fool. You have an idea how much that can hurt. Alyssa, talk to your parents. Because one day they'll be gone, and you'll always regret not saying anything. Trust me...I know." He wiped a tear away from his face and sighed softly, resting his head against hers as she cried into his shoulder. "I know it will be hard. But they still love you. I will come with you to talk to them however you please if you want." He smiled softly and kissed her cheek. "If there's anything I can do to smooth this over and help you, I won't waver from standing by your side."

She shook her head. She knew and understood that he was trying, but she didn't want to. They told her, she was dead to them, making it so that she believed them to be dead as well. It had been too long to make things work or right. It also didn't help that she went and did what they wanted her to do anyways. "I can't." She whispered. She didn't know how to explain that her parents used her against each other, and that their separation had been since she was ten. Plus her parents hated each other and hated her even more. Her dad had learned that she was different from both of them, and tried to fix things a few years back, except she was into too much pain and too closed off for her dad to be able to do anything. "I just... can't." She whispered again. She hoped that he would understand that, but knew that was most unlikely. "I'm dead to them and they're dead to me. It hurts too much. Frankly, I don't believe that they want to speak to me. Ever since I can remember they've used me against each other, and told me often that they hate me. My mom even said that she wished she hadn't had me. I knew that I was unwanted and unloved by the time I was twelve. Just because my parents separated when I was ten, didn't mean anything. They use everyone they come in contact with. I want nothing to do with them." She pushed her face into his shoulder. She cried more. She was having a hard time believing that she was actually telling him this, and that her parents were on speaking term with each other.

He frowned slightly but accepted her reasoning. He was sure he wasn't aware of the full situation, but from how it sounded, it seemed like she was far too wounded to ever consider reconciliation. Perhaps with time and his help she could reach a point where she could talk to her parents again. But he wouldn't press the issue. He didn't know very much about these kinds of things. The people whom he got close to in his past had a nasty habit of dying. He was changing that with this ship though. He wouldn't let that happen here though. He considered all her comments silently. Sometimes the best thing to say wasn't to say anything at all. He just hugged her tight and wondered what spurred this sudden interest in talking to their daughter if her parents didn't like each other as much as she believed and didn't like her even more. He was curious, but he wouldn't interfere in her family life.

She pulled away from him, and wiped her face. She was trying to stop crying. "Sorry for telling you all of that. I just didn't think I could handle it anymore. If you want to know more, I'm sure Lydia would be more than happy to tell you. She'll probably get you to help with whatever plan she has. She wants me to talk to them too." She knew being alone was a dangerous thing, but she didn't want to ruin his night or their relationship by staying. She was already afraid that she had ruin their relationship by telling him about her parents and part of her past. She was more afraid of doing something stupid than anything else. Then realization hit her. They were sitting on his bed. She swallowed and closed her eyes. "You may want to think about getting a couch." She had to keep telling herself to breath, and to fight back the tears that were still coming.

He sighed softly and cupped her cheek with his palm, "Alyssa, I want to be open and honest with you and I want the same in return. Don't ever apologize for telling me things. Especially if they're things that hurt you. I want to be here for you, to help you deal with that pain. I won't betray your trust or try to get you to do something you don't want to. I was just making a suggestion. I wouldn't ever deem to know what's best for you. You know what's best, and I will always be on your side in that." He chuckled softly, "You know? I was just thinking about that earlier. I will have to replicate one or something. I would like you to keep coming back. I want you to feel just as welcome as you would in your own quarters. I have nothing to hide from you." He smiled softly and leaned in, kissing her forehead. "You don't have to go if you're not ready. I'm still here if you want to keep talking. You won't scare me away, Alyssa."

She looked into his eyes. "Kalen, I don't know how to trust someone. I've always been betrayed. I barely talk to my cousins, and they're the family members that I keep in contact with. You've manage to find out about my parents when they don't even know. Lydia would literally kill to know what you know." She had to close her eyes again and breath. "How can you betray my trust when I don't even know how to give it? And how can you say that I won't scare you away? I came to you because I'm afraid I'll do something stupid." She shook her head, then rested it on his chest. "I don't know even know why I told." She knew that the tears were sliding down her cheeks again, but this time she didn't care. She wanted to know what he thought about all of this, and why he's bothering to let her stay. She couldn't even figure out why she was staying.

He looked right back at her before she broke eye contact and held her close again. "Well I will do my best to never let you question me. I won't betray you. Already you've put things in my hands and that's where they will stay until you say otherwise. I appreciate how much you care and trust me, and I feel the same way in return." He shook his head, "I won't tell her. Not a word from my lips, I promise." He smiled softly and ran his fingers through her hair. "I can say you won't scare me away because there is nothing in heaven or on earth you can say that would put me in a place where being with you wasn't my top priority. I see that so clearly that there is nothing to even cast a shadow of doubt in my mind." He laid back with her, not for any physical activity, just to put his back on something. It had started to twinge and he needed to not sit up for a moment or two. "I won't let you go until you tell me to. I'm committed to this relationship, and I'm not going anywhere. I care so much about you Alyssa, and unless you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel the same way, I won't ever stop."

She couldn't help but feel that he was right. "Okay. Thanks for promising. Lydia and her family just got patched up. I don't want them to know." She laid there with him. It felt natural and it reminded her that her body was getting close to falling asleep. She yawned. She knew that either they keep talking or she was going to sleep. She sighed. "I lied." She bit her lower lip, as she listened to his breathing. "I've got one memory of my parents that is happy. Well, it was when I was five. But we were happy. I don't remember where we were, but I remember that it was a lake. We have or had, I don't know if my parents still own it, a cabin/huge house by a lake. We went there one summer, when I was five. It was just the three of us. My parents had taken a week off of work to spend time with me. It was the first summer that I learned how to swim. My dad was teaching me while my mom attempted to make us lunch. My mom can't cook. It was the only time I can remember them not fighting. That one week during the summer. By the way, I'm a terrible swimmer. I know all that's needed to survive." She laughed softly before yawning again. She'd stop crying, but her body was overly tired.

He smiled again, "You're welcome. Like I said, I'd do anything for you. I wouldn't jeopardize your relationship with your cousin. It's important to you, I can see that." He pondered what she said for a moment, and the only thing that came to mind was a flippant joke, so he decided to try to lighten the mood a little. "Well I guess that means you won't come play water polo with me then, now doesn't it?" He grinned at her and returned to his own memories of his family. His father pushing him to be better, to know more. To be everything he could be. Well he was striving for it now. He would be everything that he could be and he would be that way with her. "That's a good memory. Hold on to it. Maybe one day if you're ever ready to talk to them again, that memory will help you know what to say. Not saying you have to, but if you want to you always can." She was yawning, but he wasn't terribly tired having woken up from a nap. "You can sleep here if you want to Alyssa, I won't leave you if you don't want me to. I'll be here when you wake up, and tomorrow will be just as good of a day as today."

"I wouldn't call today a good day. It was a good day gone wrong that end with me here." She yawned again. "I might take you up on your offer. With me yawning so much. I would play water polo, but I don't know how." She admitted. She liked trying new things, and she wouldn't mind doing something he'd enjoy, even if it meant that she had to learn it. Which would be interesting to see. She moved into a position that allowed her to see his face. "No offense, but could we discuss something that isn't my family?" She knew that she probably looked terrible since she had been crying for most of their chat, but she didn't care. She liked the fact that he was allowing her to stay and willing to be there.

He chuckled, "Well alas despite your trials and troubles, I think it was a good day. I got to spend the majority of it with you." He shrugged his shoulders, "There is plenty of time for all that. We have all the time we need to do whatever we want." He ran a hand over her forehead and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, "Certainly. What do you want to talk about? I'll answer any questions you have. Though with my limited time on the ship, I'm afraid I don't have very many interesting stories quite yet." He pondered for a moment or three to try to think of anything he hadn't told her yet. His life seemed rather bland and boring short of his two traumatic experiences. Those were the only two stories he could think of to tell.

She did something that he wasn't excepting. She kissed him. "When was your first kiss?" She was curious to know, and he had said to ask him anything. So she was going to take advantage of that. Even if it did get he into a little bit of trouble. She was will to risk it and it was the first question that came to mind.

He smiled softly after she pulled away from the kiss. He pondered her question for a moment, "My first kiss was when I was fifteen. You remember how it was as a teenager. All awkward and such." He laughed, remembering that day. It wasn't incredibly important, not like this was. This was special and he knew that in his heart. "It wasn't anything special, we were just young and thought we knew everything about love. But now, I've learned so much more." He leaned in to return her kiss from earlier. "Now I'm ready to be in love, I don't think I ever was before."

She smiled. "I don't know if I'm ready or not. I guess we'll found out." She laughed softly. "Teenagers always believe they know everything. That hasn't changed and I doubt it ever will." She rested her head back on his chest, wondering what question she should ask next. "What did you do for your first date?"

He nodded, "I hope so. We'll just have to see how it goes and roll with whatever comes our way." He grinned widely, "We were invincible when we were young. And we did know everything. It was the best of times." He stroked her hair and pondered her next question. He shook his head, "I honestly can't remember. I think we had a dance together and dinner. But that was it. How was yours?"

She tried not to smile. "We went to one of the national parks, walked around, talked about everything, and I can't say if I remember having dinner." She sat up and looked at him. "Do you miss being on Earth? I know that the holodeck can do whatever you want it to, but it's just not the same." She looked down at her hands, and sighed. She had already told him stuff, so why did she have to ask if he missed Earth. Every human as far as she knew miss Earth from time to time. She didn't even bother to wait for him to respond. "Favorite dating activity?" She needed the mood to be light or she'd start crying again.

He pondered her question, still lying on the bed looking up at her. "I don't really know. I mean I guess sometimes I do a little bit. But after I graduated there was nothing left for me on Earth. I had no family, nowhere to go and no one to see or talk to. I could have met random strangers but..I thought maybe the stars were where I could find my calling." He sighed softly and went to her next one very quickly, "I haven't honestly been on too many dates, and of those they were mostly dinner. Sometimes there were other things after dinner, but usually that's all it was. This will be a whole new experience for me. I want to do things with you. I don't even care what they are. We can go rock climbing or scuba diving or anything you can wish to do, the holodecks will provide. I think my favorite date though was one girl, all she wanted to do was play chess to see if I was a worthy perspective "mate". Needless to say, she beat me easily three games in a row. After that she left, but I learned a lot, and had fun playing something I never really had before."

She nodded. "I don't like chess, so you're going to need to find a friend that will play with you." She still hadn't looked up from her hands. "Well you know about my parents, so I probably need to explain my missing of Earth. I just like nature, a lot. Earth, along with many other planets, are just beautiful and full of life. If I had my way, I wouldn't have left. Sorry, but I'm just miss Earth. I'm here because this is what my parents wanted. I still did what they wanted even after they disowned me. I guess this sort of proves that I still care what my parents think." She sighed and look at him. "Let's have a light subject. What are some of your favorite activities?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe I'll ask the Captain about it. Chess is a good way to learn about people, and an excellent teacher of strategy. It's quite an efficient tool." He looked at her, "That's one of the reasons you wanted to leave, wasn't it? To go home, to see life and love and live in a beautiful world. I can understand that." He thought about her second statement before answering her next question, "Well we went over my primary polo hobby. Other than that I don't get a whole lot of time off duty to expand my retinue of hobbies. Though I did always enjoy creating rockets and flying kites as a child. I will have to try that again in the holodeck. What do you like to do?"

She smiled. "I never got the chance to fly a kite. I guess I missed out." She thought about what she liked to do. "Ballroom, reading, sleeping, modeling - which is a hobby that I can't do right now, turning the holodeck into an old movie theater and watching the classics. The last one is my favorite. Though I do watch the old films in my quarters sometimes. All depends on rather or not I want to walk to the holodeck." She wondered what to ask him next. "I'm sorry but I have to ask this. Have you seen some classics films? When I say classic, I mean The Godfather or Gone with the Wind." She needed to know if she had to educate him on classic films.

He laughed softly, "Indeed you did. We will have to change that. It's a very thrilling experience, even if you know in the back of your head that it isn't real." He nodded, "I enjoy dancing, reading and sleeping as well. Though the first is something I'm still working on." He shook his head awaiting her disappointment, "No they didn't have a class on classic film in the Academy and my father would have rathered me study physics than have any sort of free time to exercise any hobby or passion that wasn't a hard science or mathematics related activity. You will have to show me. Perhaps that can be another one of our dates."

She was stunned. "I feel like I need to hurt your father, but I can't. Classic films. I can totally make that science or mathematical related. I'm so sad that you never got to enjoy classic films. Several of our dates will be watching classic films. There's so many of them, that I'm really going to need to pick and choose which ones that you have to see. And I would love to fly kites since you say that I've missed out." She knew that she probably offend him by saying that she felt like hurting his dad, but she couldn't help not saying it. "As for the dancing, If you're willing I'd be more than happy to teach you. I'm sorry for saying what I did about your father. I know that if I knew him, I'd probably understand a bit better. Did... never mind. So you had to study math and science. Two subjects that I'm not that good in. I think that'll be my reason for not playing chess with you. Besides the fact that I suck at it. If you don't believe me, I can give you the contact information on my Academy roommate who plays chess all the time. She's actually very good." She figured that this wasn't making the situation better since her comment about his dad. She really didn't mean to sound so surprised or insult his family. "I forget that everyone grows up differently." She didn't know what else to say.

He chuckled softly, "He was respected. But that doesn't hardly go hand in hand with being well liked. I think most of his friends wanted to do him physical harm at one point or another. But I really didn't ever know. We never had those kinds of talks." He shook his head, "Don't be offended or apologetic, you can't hurt him. Nothing can now, his memory lives on in whatever annals he has affected. But other than that..his legacy will be in his work. That is what he wanted." He smiled, "We can do all those things. There's plenty of time for everything. I won't make you play chess, I just thought about it is all when you asked." He sighed, "Well that's true. And everyone hopes to be better parents than theirs were to them. Or at least I would like to think so. I don't really know though. My mother always tried to tell me it was the way my father was with everyone. She was a kind soul. And maybe it was just the way he was. I won't ever know." He shrugged his shoulders, it was really not that important to him anymore.

"Well, you'll love your parents more when you meet mine. If you ever meet mine." She rubbed her neck. "It was still wrong of me to say that. You care about your parents rather or not you realize it. Plus, you'll always have a part of them. I do, even though I wish I didn't." She look away. "I don't know if I could handle being a parent. I'll most likely turn out to be like my parents. Cold and distant." Memories of her childhood and teen years, played a crossed her mind. She felt like crying again. "No one really knows how much time we have. For all you know, I could leave tomorrow and we'll never see each other again. No one can prepare you for the future, even though we all try to anyways." She was debating rather or not to go. A strong part of her wanted her stay, but she had a dumb voice in her head telling her that none of this was going to work out and that there was no point in hoping it will.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Perhaps. I guess we'll just have to see if and when that time comes." He leaned forward as she had and massaged her neck and shoulders for a few moments, "Don't worry so much about it. It was said, and I don't mind. Yes I care about them, but they won't ever know it now." He leaned over and kissed her cheek, "You have a lot of time to figure out if that's what you want. I don't see you as being cold and distant." He rested his head on her shoulder, "Yes, you very well could. That's why I wanted to spend as much time with you as I could. It's your decision to make and I won't stop you. I'll be here waiting if you decide to stay. I can promise that much."

She kissed him. "Thanks. There's something I've got to tell you." She sighed, and bit her lower lip. "I already told my cousin that I was staying. I just don't know what I'm doing yet. There's already two counselors and I haven't talked to the Captain yet. So I guess there's still a good chance that I might not be able to stay. It's really the Captain's choice." She didn't exactly know how he would take it.

He nodded to her and smiled softly, "Well I think that she will let you stay. Or at least I hope so. If that's still what you want to do." He leaned in and returned her kiss, "I'm just happy to spend every moment with you that I can. I wouldn't change that for the world." He wanted to stay in that moment with her forever. But already it was continuing forward through time. "She'll keep us together. But if not..I don't know. I'd be half tempted to follow you, you know that?" He grinned.

"You would?" She asked, a bit surprised. She had never met anyone who would follow her. She breathed and rubbed her eyes. "I can't believe how tired I am. And I find it hard to believe that you would quit this ship and follow me. I've got a good feeling that I'm going to be staying and I'm going to hold onto that feeling. I just hope that Lydia doesn't bring family problems on board. Some things are just left off ship." She laid down on his bed. "You really should get a couch." She was debating on rather or not to fall asleep here or attempt to make to her quarters. She knew that she could sleep on the floor. She did most of the time anyways; just never made it to the bed fast enough.

He nodded, willing to admit that fully. But he felt in his hear that she wouldn't be going anywhere if she didn't want to. He watched her for a moment and chuckled softly. "We'll both hold onto that feeling, and I hope also that she doesn't bring those things around. Drama isn't necessarily the easiest thing to deal with. We will if we have to, but I hope it doesn't come to that." He grinned and pondered making a joke and decided not to. He looked around the room, "I'll get right on it. Maybe tomorrow." He smiled softly, "But if you're so tired you're welcome to stay. I won't invade your privacy, I'm a man of honor. Or I can carry you back to your quarters." He winked, knowing that one way or the other, their night was over.

"You may have to do that. Mainly because I'll probably pass out in the hallway." She replied sleepily. "I'm probably going to be asleep when you decide rather or not to move me. This is why a couch would be good. Because I could be passed out on the couch and you'd still have your bed to sleep in. Wait... that sort of made sense yet not. I'm tired." She knew that she was falling asleep, and she couldn't get her body to move into a sitting position.

He shrugged his shoulders and played with her hair for a moment before coming back to the real world, "Well whatever you want Alyssa. I won't invade your privacy if you sleep up on my bed. That will be fine. But yes, tomorrow I will get that couch." He laughed, "But we're adults, we can sleep in the same bed without being intimate if you don't care." He just smiled at her and offered his hand if she wanted him to take her back to her quarters.

She stared at him then looked at his hand. "Are you being a gentlemen?" She hoped that was the right term. She rarely used, so she didn't know what exactly to do. Didn't help that she was falling asleep, and wouldn't mind staying if the 'I should go sleep in my own quarters' feeling would go away. She signed, and took his hand.

He smiled softly and pulled her up into his arms after he took her hand, "There's no rush for anything. We have time enough to explore all our avenues. But yes, I am being a gentleman." He smiled down at her and slipped his arm around her shoulders and under her knees, lifting her from his bed. He carried her to the door and exited out into the hall, careful with her as he took her to her quarters so she could sleep in her own bed.

She stood in her doorway. "Thanks for being there. My breakdowns can be fun." She kissed him, then went into her quarters. She knew that they had time, and she would get use to dating a gentlemen. The last time she dated one, was back in the academy. It didn't end well, but she was more than happy to try again. She had a feeling that Kalen was different. First time, since she got here, she actually made into her bed with pajamas on.
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