Taylor/Lilly - Changes

||USS Fenris
||Shuttlebay I, Redemption's Caress
||1000


Lillian was definitely more pale than normal and though Elena had told her to rest, she certainly didn't want to. The first thing she did was seek out Taylor whether it was what she should have done or not. She had a habit of pushing men out of her life in one way or another and this was probably going to be the last straw. Too much, too soon, but she just couldn't keep all of this to herself.

She needed him.

So, she walked into Shuttlebay I and board Taylor's ship, Redemption's Caress, heading for the Bridge of it. She was determined and she didn't know what to do but she was upset. She was upset and everything felt wrong and the only person who ever made it feel worth anything was Taylor. What would she have done had she lost it?

At the bridge of the small runabout Taylor was busy calibrating the sensors. For some reason they always went funny. He figured he'd have to ask some of the engineering department to help him if they weren't too busy.

He heard footsteps behind him and sighed gently, only two people would bother to find him on his ship and one of them was in sickbay. "What can I do for you Captain?" asked Taylor in a professional tone. He stood up from his chair and looked at Lillian, something was wrong. Taylor could always tell when something was wrong with her.

"You alright darlin'?" he asked softly.

Lillian automatically shook her head. "No...no, I'm not."

She walked a little closer to him and then stopped abruptly, shaking her head. It was almost like all she wanted to do was just let it all out, but would it accomplish anything? Really, that didn't matter because right now she had to let it all out. She was tired of feeling stressed and tired.

"What kind of sign is it, Taylor?" Lillian asked him suddenly. "I know you don't necessarily believe in them, but I do. I've always believed that everything would happen the way it was supposed to but why? Why would I almost lose it the same day I get you back? How is that fair? I feel like I should get to be happy. I just want to be happy."

All Taylor could do at that moment was give a puzzled look. What was Lillian on about? Regardless she needed comfort and Taylor was happy to supply that. Taking off his pistol belt and dumping it in the seat beside him Taylor stood up and pulled Lillian to his chest. His small smile and icy blue eyes beamed at the Betazoid near him. She made him human, took away all the self-doubt he carried around with him.

"Tell me what's wrong, Imzadi, tell the idiot that loves you how he can make it all better."

"I almost lost the baby..." Lillian whispered.

It was barely audible, but she'd finally said it and suddenly there were tears coming to her eyes. This was not how she had wanted to tell him but after her long day she just needed everything out there.

"Do you know how the last two months have been on me?" Lillian asked him, shaking her head one more time. "Being without you, finding out, needing you...I need you here. Now I'm supposed to be resting, but I have work to do and honestly? I want this. I want the baby more than any of it, but I just...I need you. I want you. I can't do this by myself, and I don't want to, I want to share it with you."

"Baby...you're..." Taylor's words caught in his throat. Lillian was pregnant. Right then he wanted to tell her she was wrong, that it wasn't his. Somehow these words just couldn't come out. Instead he held Lillian tighter, kissing her forehead. "You won't have to go alone, alright? I'm here...I'm sorry I didn't come back it was...I was broken, needed some time to fix myself. Now I want to fix you. I'm your man Lillian, till death. And we both know I don't die easily."

"I know, part of me is just worried...worried that our 'forever's don't last," she said, feeling herself get a little angry. "Twice you've promised to stay and then something has happened to take you away from me and you didn't come back. I can't handle you leaving a third time, I just can't."

Lillian took one of Taylor's hands and rested it on her stomach, knowing she could read his mind to see what was up, but also not wanting to. She could tell when he was lying or not and she knew she sounded like a broken record, but at the same time she needed to know for certain that he was fighting for this. But what if...what if this wasn't what he wanted anymore? The family, kids, her...

"What are you thinking?" Lillian asked him. "Honestly, what are you thinking at this moment...?"

"You won't have to," said Taylor firmly. He believed himself when he said that, he had to. Someone had to. "I'm sorry I've not been great at staying. You know me, duty first. Well what I'm thinking right now is that you're my duty, my love. I'm going to take care of you and our family like I should have done. Going to fight for you instead of some flag. I don't owe a damn thing to Starfleet or the Federation. I just want you...that's all. For the first time in a while I've got some clarity to what I want. You. Can you take that? Can you forgive a man who's so flawed he doesn't know himself?"

The words that came out of Taylor's mouth made her smile because he genuinely believed what he was saying and so she did as well. For just a moment she felt like things could be better. Her people believed in love and forgiveness and no secrets and it was about time she returned to her roots. They still needed some time, but they were both trying and that was what mattered.

"I can forgive you...I just think we need time to adjust to everything. A lot of things are happening at once." Lillian admitted, still holding his hand to her stomach. "Can we...can we talk about the baby?"

"Of course." he replied, stroking her stomach lovingly. "You know I was half suspecting...well, when I left I thought your Betazoid tendency's would kick in. I also half suspected that the baby would have a beard and spy tendencies, a funny forehead or be a complete stalker and freak out the science staff. Call me cynical." Taylor just offered a shrug as he stood back and folded his arms as he rested against the console.

"Besides we tried and tried and nothing came back. Maybe Lars managed to convince you out to a night of 'friendly comfort' and things just went away." Taylor wasn't usually the jealous type and he was doing all he could to hide irrational envy from her keen senses. "Maybe Victor impressed you with his big guns and his lack of intelligence. I dunno, I guess I thought things changed a lot past few months."

"My Betazoid tendancies?!" Lillian said without so much as a second thought.

For a moment she understood, but the moment was fleeting. They had been trying for a baby and it had happened and he had the audacity to even joke that it wasn't his? She'd waited for him for twelve years and this was what the news of finally getting a baby was bringing out of him.

"I'm sorry, just what exactly are you implying?" She asked him, hitting him in the shoulder. "I didn't just jump right onto someone the moment I heard you were gone! Lars is with Megan, Kroth moved on and Victor? Where did that even come from? And what about you, huh? I mean you were out in the world probably banging anything with legs! You and Nayla seemed pretty friendly, who knows what's happened there."

Blame her hormones, but the anger was present.

"Easy!" said Taylor dejectedly as he back off onto the console as much as he could, trying to get away from the furious captain." It was just a joke; you know to lighten the mood. Maybe I would have been happy if you did rather than pine around sobbing. Least you'd be in a good mood for once."

Taylor didn't understand why she was suddenly so angry. Usually his somewhat tongue-in-cheek humour cheered her up. Now he was afraid she was going to give him one splitting headache. When Nayla's name came up however a prickle of anger boiled. He was protective of the people he cared about and Taylor didn't appreciate what Lillian was driving at.

"What did you just say?" growled Taylor, stepping up to his full height. "For your information I haven't so much as looked at someone else that way. As for Nayla…don't even mention her name unless it's to say something good. That girl has lost more than you ever have. Whatever you're thinking it's just fantasy. She's not the one I wanted to come back to."

He paused wishing he could smoke a cigarette but he wasn't about to risk Lillian's and the baby's health with a second-hand whiff of the toxic cocktail of gases. "You want to know why I didn't come back so badly?!" he snarled. "You left me. All of you. Lars didn't come back, you certainly didn't convince Sora to send a rescue for me. I was alone! In the dark! Those Tholian bastards tortured me and then wanted to ship me to slave processing plant. I was rescued by another ship and when I woke up in the sickbay I wanted it to be your face I saw, not some SpecOps doc. So that's why…make something out of that if you want. But don't ever think I just upped and left to play about."

"You have no idea what I have lost!" Lillian snapped, stepping up to him and looking up at him. "I'm me, Taylor! Two months isn't time for me to just move forward! I waited for you for 12 years the first time that you left and just hopping right onto someone else after hearing that you died is an insult to your memory! I would never do something like that!"

She narrowed her eyes at him a moment and then tried to take a deep breath but she kept on going. He was under the impression that she had just abandoned him and she wasn't about to let him think that. The strings that she had tried to pull...the hope she'd held out. How could he ever think that she would ever give up on him.

"Has it ever occurred to you that I got there too late?" Lillian asked him. "That Lars came back and told me they'd lost you and I was distraught? That I tried to get to you because if there was no body, there was always hope? I would never just abandon you! Don't you know me well enough to know that, Taylor?"

"You didn't try hard enough." growled Taylor before his shoulders sagged. He didn't like fighting with her but somehow it had all just exploded because of one innocent joke. "I didn't mean that..." he added with a hurt tone. That was Taylor all over; diving into situations, saying things he didn't mean all because he never thought before acting. Now he was shouting at the love of his life all because he was feeling sorry for himself.

"Can we forget we had this talk? Can you realize you've made me happy telling me that I have a child on the way?"

"Just take off your pants," Lillian said as she closed the distance between them, crashing her lips into his.

It had just been a joke but they'd needed to let everything out and she felt bad about snapping like that. Now all she wanted was to try and make things better, so she was kissing him, slipping her arms around his neck. She just needed him as close as she could get him and if that meant right there and right now, then it meant right there and right now.

Taylor was as taken aback as any man would be in this situation. First he was fighting with Lillian, the next he was slipping his tongue into her mouth. He placed Lillian onto his helm console, deepening their connection of lips, moaning into her mouth as he fumbled with his trousers till they were loose enough to wiggle to his ankles.

"I've always hated how hard Starfleet uniforms are to get off..." he commented hungrily. Taylor's fingers unzipped Lillian's duty jacket before throwing it behind him. Next his hands made their way to her trousers, tugging at the waist line.

Lillian smirked and helped him to slip her uniform trousers off, pulling off her command red shirt and then moving to get his shirt off as well, the dog tags hanging there between her breasts as always. Now they had the engagement ring added to the chain as well, but they were still around her neck always, to remind her. It was almost like they had been a slight weight, reminding her of what she had lost, but she had liked to be reminded and now they were once again light, reminding her of what was hers.

"By now you'd think we'd have an easier way of removing our clothes down," she teased with a wink.

"You'd think..." agreed Taylor who wasted no time in slipping Lillian's underwear away before pushing her down onto the console and hooking her legs around his waist. "You get some serious kicks from arguments," he teased. Taylor lined up his hips with Lillian's before giving a hard thrust into her, holding her down as he did.

"Remember when we went to help that freighter...we decided to find a new use for a bio bed that day..."

Lillian gasped, relaxing for him. "Seems we've upgraded to consoles..."

She laughed a little bit, pulling Taylor close, reveling in the feeling of closeness and convincing herself that there was a chance for them--a big chance. He was trying, she was trying, and they were going to make this work, she had to believe that. Besides, third time's the charm...

Moving Lillian's hair out the way Taylor gazed at her beautiful face as his hips gently surged forward into her. Small moans echoed from his lips as their love making continued. He smiled deeply, his eyes filled with love and affection which was a sign they hadn't shown in a long time. Not since he was alone. No words were spoken, just the sound of their intimate act filled with rising moans and gasps.

"Never again am I leaving..." said Taylor as he rolled his hips forward.

Lillian nodded, a smile on her face reserved only for Taylor and by then he should have known it. She pressed her lips to his and kissed him lovingly, pouring herself into him, nipping at his lips and keeping his body close to hers. She'd missed this and she could tell that he had to.

"I'm looking forward to you staying..."