Remy/Lilly - I'm Trying

||USS Fenris
||Lillian's Office
||1130


Remy entered the turbo lift, requesting the computer to take her to Lillian's deck so that she may talk to her. She felt bad about her outburst at Lillian about the heart. She knew if she wasn't careful she'd have to actually go talk to the counselor about it and possibly be declared unfit for duty. That wasn't an option for her, her job was her life, it was the only thing keeping her going at the moment.

She told herself she would go in, apologize about the outburst, tell her she was having a bad day and the stress got to her. Then she'll drop in that she had lunch with Aaron Garren, hopefully that will satisfy Lillian. Remy thought the engineer was an interesting person, though she would keep her distance as usual, why mess up a good thing? She liked her solitude, not to mention he made her a little nervous...

She approached Lillian's door and knocked, waiting to be given admittance.

Lillian looked up at the knock on her Ready Room door and smiled a little--Remy. Remy was the only one that knocked and so of course she hurried up and went over to the door, pushing in the required code on the door panel and watching the doors swoosh open, a smile on her face. She had already forgiven and forgot Remy's outburst, knowing the young woman was still trying to settle back in.

At the same time, she couldn't just let it slide could she? She was the CO so it was her right to do as she pleased, but at the same time she had to make Remy think she definitely should apologize--after all she had yelled at the captain...but Lillian wasn't mad. Lillian was concerned and it wasn't just her pregnancy hormones telling her to be everyone's mother either. It was because Lillian honestly cared about Remy and wanted to be her friend.

"Remy...please come in and have a seat." Lillian told her, motioning to the seat in front of her desk.

Remy gave Lilly a small tight smile and went and sat down. She sat silently for a moment, twiddling with her thumbs as she tried to find the right words to say. She didn't want to come off as crazy, but she honestly felt bad for her outburst, "I just wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier, it was unprofessional and uncalled for." She said, trying to keep a neutral tone but convey that she honestly felt poorly for her actions.

"I'm still adjusting to the new...heart...it's taking a while and I'm not used to it. I just wasn't prepared for it I guess." Remy said, staring at her thumbs for a moment, feeling rather awkward, "I think I made a friend." She said, hoping to change the subject.

Lillian smiled as Remy took a seat and sat across from her at her desk, watching her and smiling a bit more when Remy apologized. She knew that Remy was having a tough time and it was honestly alright with her--Remy had just needed some space. Her interested was peaked though when Remy mentioned making a friend.

"It's alright, Remy, honestly--I know you're still having a hard time." Lillian said with a nod. "I don't understand first hand, but I get that you're trying. So...this new friend...who is it?"

She knew better than presume one way or another whether this new friend was female or male.

Remy breathed a sigh of relief that Lillian accepted her apology and didn't push the issue. She had to remind herself to keep a firm control on her emotions and feelings, she had to act as though she was fine, if she lost her job she wouldn't know what to do, the thought was terrifying. She blushed at the mention of her 'friend'. She might be jumping the gun so to say, they'd only had one lunch. To be honest she wasn't sure she'd ever talk or see him again, which she was fine with, she liked her solitude, it made her content. If she had people around all the time she would have to hide her problems constantly, it sounded tiring. He intimidated her and made her nervous, for the most part she felt like a meerkat left out in the open without a hole to crawl into and hide. She was already coming up with plans in her head on hiding out in her office and keep some food stored near by so she wouldn't have to venture out often.

"His name is Aaron Garren, he's an engineer." She told Lillian, trying to think of things to tell her about him, "He approached me in the mess hall and asked to eat with me, and I agreed and we engaged in some small talk like you taught me to." She said, feeling a little proud of herself. Like a child presenting an elementary accomplishment to her mother.

Lillian's eyes lit up as she heard that not only did Remy have a new friend, but it was Marissa's attractive half-brother. The young man was acclimating to life on Fenris quite nicely and Lillian was so happy that he and Remy were trying in the friends department that a grin broke out across her face. Not to mention the absolute flattery she felt when Remy told her that she had taught her to engage in small talk. More than anything, Lillian really wanted Remy to have people to talk to as she was such a wonderful woman and she deserved to have a lot of people in her corner fighting for her.

"That's exciting--you let someone eat with you," Lillian told her beaming. "Will you two be hanging out on Tercius Prime for the shore leave? It'll be a great opportunity to develop your new friendship some more."

Remy had forgotten completely about the shore leave. She went still, feeling herself go pale. She new it was a requirement for the entire crew to leave the ship, but she had put it out of mind while she'd been settling in. The last thing she wanted was to leave the ship and get sucked into a crowded area for hours. "I....I had forgotten all about that" She stuttered, feeling almost sick to her stomach, "I don't suppose there is a chance I could stay in the labs? I have work to be done and I'm feeling rather ill." She knew it was a lame excuse and knowing Lilly it wouldn't work, but she had to try.

Lillian shook her head a little bit. "1)Work doesn't help you not feel ill, and 2)if you feel I'll, Remy, fresh air will do you some good."

She had a feeling that Remy was just trying to get out of shore leave and while she got it because she knew Remy liked being solitary, but she wanted her to mingle. It was important for her to know the crew and she wanted the crew to know Remy. That was all there was to it.

"...I see." Remy felt a sinking feeling in her stomach, she would have to leave the ship. It felt like being lead to an execution of some sort. Short of stowing away somewhere on the ship, she would have to go out. She didn't know the layout of Tercius Prime, she made a mental note to find out what she could so she could find a place to hide out until she was allowed back on the ship.

Lillian wondered if Remy was wondering whether or not she could actually get out of talking to people. Yes, some people preferred that, but Lillian thought that Remy was simply scared and she wished there was something she could do to help her out here. The girl was obviously terrified and Lillian didn't want her to feel forced...she wanted her to have fun.

"Tell you what...I won't make you spend a lot of time down there, but I want you to get some fresh air." Lillian decided with a gentle shrug.

Maybe just maybe, she could get Aaron to take Remy down...

Remy nodded, it seemed like it was better than nothing, "I guess you're...right..." She said, squirming a bit in her seat. She needed to figure out a place to go during the leave so that she'd be alone and not have to deal with anyone. Perhaps a shop or eating area, she would have to do some research beforehand. "I shall look into finding places to...go...on the leave. Thank you Doctor Crae." She said, deciding to take her leave.

"You really should call me, Lilly, Remy--everyone else does, and I consider you my friend." Lillian said with a gentle smile. "I know it seems like I just mother hen all the time, but I really do care and I really am here. Try to have fun on the planet, okay?"

Lillian nodded a little and kept smiling at her, honestly hoping that Remy would find that she liked opening up a bit.