Taylor/Lillian

||USS Fenris
||Sickbay
||0710


When the Baron Lotus had touched down and the exit ramp had dropped Taylor hadn't wasted a lot of time with explaining to people who he was. If security wanted to talk to him then they'd have to run. Fast. Of course he was in marine armour so no one really stole a second glance. Most of the time. Right now he wanted to check on Nayla who had apparently been beamed into sickbay. Prior to that he had explained what was going on so she didn't have a panic attack. Of course Taylor had never been on a Luna-class before so he did have to take some time in plotting his course with the MSD screens.

Finally he ended up in sickbay where the Orion girl was resting where she should be; in a bio bed being tended to by a nurse. When she saw her friend walk through the door with knife wound on his face, blood on his armour and a smile on his face she knew for sure Lon was dead. This generated a smile on Nayla's face too. "You look like a mess." she said as they gently embraced one another which was hard to do when one person is in a bio bed and the other is in plate armour.

"Thanks mum." retorted Taylor with a roll of his eyes. "How you doing?"

"Fine. Was a surprise when I got your comm about medical attention from Starfleet. You might want to see someone yourself."

It was at that moment that the wound on Taylor's face stung since the adrenaline had long left his body. He just shrugged off her concern. "Nothing a good bottle of whiskey won't sort. Besides some women on Vega find scars dashing."

Lillian had basically gone white as a sheet when Marlo had come practically bursting into her Ready Room telling her that Taylor was actually alive and in her Sickbay with Nayla, the Orion that had needed medical attention. She could feel her whole body pulsate in pain for a moment and then she was up and off of the Bridge, heading to the Turbolift.

"Sickbay," she said, having to repeat herself since it had come out as barely a whisper.

She shook her head and closed her eyes, trying to take deep breaths as a feeling of nausea overpowered her for a moment. Lillian took deep breaths and swallowed a couple of times, keeping the vomit at bay and then finding herself in the corridor that she needed. She made her way to it in a determined fashion until she realized that she couldn't feel her legs. They were going to buckle underneath her the moment she entered and she knew it.

Not even her love of the place could help her.

Knowing she had to at least see for herself, Lillian walked through the doors and froze, feeling suddenly like she couldn't do this and immediately heading for a nearby tray of medical supplies. Securing a hypospray, she went to put the medicine in it that she needed, but her hands were shaking and her lip was quivering. Biting down on her lip to try and calm down, Lillian snuck a glance and though her first instinct was to fix Taylor's bleeding cheek, he seemed perfectly content with the redheaded Orion beauty.

Taylor didn't even notice Lillian enter the room since he was still cheerful about his small victory on the planet. It might have only taken weeks but Lon had been a priority for the pair and now he was dead. Finally they could get back to earning some real money. He pulled up a stool and sat beside Nayla before producing one of the vials on Lon's desk inside the cave. Why none of the away team had mentioned it, nor Lon's body, was beyond him. "I found this in the cave where he had been hiding. Not sure what it is. Could be a chemical weapon, could be a sex drug. Wonder if they'll let me use their science labs...."

"I think you might outstay our welcome." replied Nayla. "Just because they gave us medical help doesn't mean they'll let you use their toys."

A vial of mysterious liquid seemed a source of little concern for Taylor but still he was curious. It was one of those little things that would bug you until it eventually left your mind or you found out the answer. Pocketing the vial Taylor ran his hand over his beard. At least maybe he'd finally get a good shave and a shower. "Well regardless of what it may or may not be when you get fixed up we are so out of here. We're going back to Vega Station, to Alexi's and we are going to get so drunk that we won't even be able to remember anything about ourselves other than I'm tall, Scottish and handsome...tall and Scottish anyway...and that you're very green."

"Couldn't have put it better myself." beamed the Orion.

Lillian's hands were shaking so badly that she dropped the hypospray onto the metal tray and it made a rather loud clanging noise. For a moment she just froze, unsure of what to do and then she quickly turned so her back was to them.

You've done it now, Lilly--you could have just seen him and then left and he wouldn't have known. He's happy. He has someone. Why are you doing this? You never should have come here. Now you're just talking to yourself. Grab the hypospray and leave.She thought to herself.

She reached to get the hypospray without moving so that her face would be seen and felt...a tricorder. That wasn't a bloody hypospray and now all that she wanted was to be invisible. Tucked away safely in her Ready Room and not standing there like an idiot. Hanging her head she heaved a heavy sigh and moved her hand back farther for the hypospray, grasping her fingers around it so hard they went white from the lack of blood flow.

Please...just ignore me...

When the hypospray hit the tray Taylor jumped slightly in surprise before letting a small chuckle go. He turned to investigate the source of the noise when he saw someone in command red at a medical tray. That was an oddity in its own right but the fact that even from the back the woman looked familiar really started to annoy him as much as the mystery vial.

Nayla seemed puzzled at Taylor's reaction but kept silent as Taylor's mind tried to factor in all the evidence. Bakel Marlo....A captain Crae...someone who looks like Lillian in red in sickbay...the realization hit him causing a sharp intake of breath to occur. His heartbeat could be heard by himself as his mouth dried up. Taylor was completely stunned by the revelation. Maybe it wasn't, maybe it was all just a likely story but he had to know.

"It's you isn't it...Lillian." said Taylor gently, unsure of what to say really.

Oh, you are such an idiot, Lilly...

"For the love of the Four Deities," Lillian said gently, turning around slowly and giving an awkward smile. "I...I was just in here to..."

She paused in her awkward, rambling sentence and leaning on the nearby bulkhead for support because she was right--her legs were going to give out on her. What she needed to do was grow a pair and just take the hypospray and leave as quickly as she had come in. By now she'd thought she had gotten better at thinking before making decisions, but she had been wrong.

"Just medicating myself," Lillian said lamely, looking at the hypospray and avoiding all eye contact. Suddenly feeling like I really need to vomit...

"That's it?" asked Taylor with a hurt expression. "That's all you have to say to me after all this time? According to Marlo I'm dead so I assume that's the information you also have. So you thought I was dead. Me. Apparently...what's that word you black-eyes love to use? Imzadi? So you thought I was dead and the first words to me are 'Just medicating myself'?"

He took several steps away from Nayla so he didn't disturb her with his usual high emotions and began pacing between several empty bio beds. Right now Taylor was at a loss on what to say. Should he say anything?

"I'm sorry, but are you mad at me?" Lillian asked, pain and now anger in her voice, gripping the hypospray tighter. "What am I supposed to say to you, Taylor? 'Taylor, I'm so glad you're back! Just wait until Sareth hears his dad is home!' I don't think so. I am without a doubt overwhelmed and happy that you are alive, but I am the angry one this time. You've been going about having a life letting me think you were dead even though you knew that you weren't--or at least letting me think that you'd walked away from every promise you ever made me. So what do you want me to say to you, Taylor? Right now I am stuck between wanting to pull you close and wanting to beat you in the chest with my fists until I'm not angry with you anymore..."

Lillian could feel tears so she looked away and tried to take a deep breath--she could not afford a panic attack.

"I'm so happy you're not dead," she managed, looking up at him and continuing to use the bulk head for support, not able to stand up on her own. "Really...you don't even understand how glad I am that you're alive..."

She turned away from him so he couldn't see the tear that she blinked out, breathing in quietly and slowly through her mouth so he didn't have to hear her sniffle. Then she reached up quickly and brushed the tears away, trying to pull herself together before turning back to look at him.

"Can I please fix your...?" She asked, pointing to the wound on his face. "It looks like it hurts."

Yeah, he wasn't exactly in the right and Taylor could see that. He had abandoned more than Starfleet and the Marine Corps. He had abandoned Lillian, and for what? So he could go play pirate. Right now Taylor's reason for leaving Starfleet became more and more blurry as he ran it through his mind. Seeing Lillian like this wasn't doing him any favours. He needed to do something...anything.

"Well you're in no state to kick me shitless...come here darlin'." Taylor tried his best to pull Lillian to him so he could hold her. If she wanted to be held, well, that was a different matter all together. "Besides a 'life' is a bit of an overstatement. Doing odd jobs for latinum isn't exactly a life. I mean I can't even protect Nayla...the Orion. She's my co-pilot. I'm supposed to be a friend, a big brother and she gets shot on my watch."

Saving the useless self-pity crap for his spare time Taylor pondered letting Lillian fixing him up. He hated medical treatment and Sickbays. He just couldn't stand them. Lillian was the only one able to actually get close enough to treat him for minor things. If anything it would prove the foundations of their relationship remained; it was doing that. "Aye, I only really like you looking after me anyway. Not the same not having a friendly face in a Sickbay. Can't even pay to get these scars removed."

Friend...big brother...

Why her mind was only focused on that for a moment she understood too well. Love. She still loved the frustrating man standing before her and though she knew she always had and always would, it almost hurt a little more to admit that. Even not out loud she'd admitted it to herself to dwell...and yet she still wanted to be close to him.

"Keep in mind, then, that you don't have to pay me anything," Lillian responded as she neared him, still feeling weak.

She gave herself the hypospray injection and grabbed the dermal regenerator, crossing over to Taylor and realizing as she got closer that all she wanted was his arms wrapped around her. To prove that he was real. She was still so upset and hurt and stunned, but she just needed the reassurance...just a little bit. It was the least that he could do before he left her again, and for that reason alone she was going to not tell him about the baby. As much as he deserved to know, it scared her to think he might be able to walk about from that--after all, he'd proved twice that he could walk away from her.

"Take off the bloody armor," Lillian said as managed to stand in front of him, going with her gut instincts.

Nodding Taylor unclamped the plates and left them beside Nayla's bio-bed. He then propped himself up on the bio bed and awaited Lillian to do whatever she needed to do. Even in his most hated place the feeling of being in a Starfleet vessel was like returning home. There was a comfortable familiarity about it all; the décor, the people, atmosphere. If he was back home then he wanted to stay but how? Nayla would follow him to a Borg ridden planet if he asked so that wasn't the problem. He wasn't a member of Starfleet any more so the chances of him being allowed to stay were slim. Still he had to ask.

"I asked Marlo if you guys needed a hand with anything. I'm sure she thought I meant just for the mining but honestly? Being out of the game hasn't been easy. Honestly? I missed you. I missed it all. The Promenade, the marines, even Lars and his smart ass comments. Now you have your own ship. So my question is: do you need me? Do you have anything for me to do? Not that there is much need for a civilian."

Lillian knew she was looking at him like he was crazy, but only because he would ask such a ridiculously silly question. The admission didn't change everything--though it did change some--but the question? Before she knew it, she was pressing herself up against him, resting her head on his chest and breathing in his scent. She didn't even care about what he smelt like, but he was here...he was solid and he was real and she had missed him too.

"I always need you..."

She took another deep breath and then pulled back, chewing on her bottom lip and then focusing on fixing the hurt on his face. Suddenly all she wanted to do was ask him what had happened to him--it seemed like there were always secrets of some kind between them. How did they fix this? Did she want to? Without a doubt. The problem was that in order to fix this, she had to trust that he wasn't going to just disappear again.

That he'd be the boomerang he'd promised he would be.

The embrace was what he needed right now, especially after tracking Lon for weeks and finally killing him. After spending months of trying to decide on returning or staying away it seemed like his choice was made for him. "I need you too Lillian," he said kissing her forehead. "Just hope you need a gun hand like usual. Am I staying? Yes. Can I promise? Well, I've not got the best track record for promises. I'll understand if you don't want us to be like we were just yet but, well...I've got a chance, right?"

"You're right, I need some time for that...but it's not like I don't still love you..." Lillian admitted quietly, resting her free hand on his as she finished up closing the wound and not leaving a scar behind. "You and Nayla are both perfectly welcome here. At the moment we're a rather empty ship and when we get to Tercius Prime I'm not expecting all that many more people, but definitely more than what we've got now."

She took a deep breath and then decided to risk it.

"I just need to know that you're willing to fight for me too."

"Wouldn't be asking if I wasn't willing," answered Taylor with a smile. "One thing...living arrangements. My ship? Crew quarters? Your place?"

Lillian smiled at that and then the question presented itself and she felt conflicted. Of course she wanted him to come back and be right there again where she knew where he was and that he was safe, and to have him to cuddle, but was that just her hormones? She needed to know without a doubt that this was what he wanted...that this was where he wanted to be--that this time he really wasn't going anywhere. She wanted to tell him about the baby.

They had a lot to discuss.

"I would never make you live on your ship," she said with a soft laugh, shaking her head. "If you and Nayla would like to stay, we have quarters for you..."

She settled her body against Taylor's again and felt suddenly like she had to just latch on and not let go. Lillian didn't want him to be away from her. She would fight tooth and nail for this man no matter what, even though she knew she couldn't just forgive and forget the last two months until they talked about it. Talking about it didn't mean he couldn't stay...so she just reached out a shaky hand and rested it on Taylor's cheek, running her thumb along his jawline and leaning in, making eye contact with him.

"You know where I want you to be, Tay...always...but is that what you want?"

"Like I said I wouldn't be discussing it if I didn't want to stay," said Taylor once more. "If you can put up with me, we can share a room. I want a lot of things Lillian...I want a shower, a shave and a packet of tabs. I want to stop being so damn...fluid. You know just be happy for what I've got rather than go out head first into situations. Most of all, I want you. Now I just need to prove it."

Taylor had always been the type to be the first one to fight. For whatever reason he always stepped up to the mark when duty called. Even with all he had to lose the risks always seemed to outweigh the rewards in his mind. He wasn't exactly over-the-top emotionally broken but sometimes Taylor found it hard to connect and empathize. That sometimes made all the difference between being a little bit off and being an absolute tit.

Cuddling Lillian and placing small kisses on her cheek Taylor felt rather content at finding her again. It seemed like a million in one chance but Taylor wasn't about to question his own luck. "So...Captain? Aren't we moving up in the world. I only made it to Commander...well, Lieutenant Colonel. It's a shame I'll never wear the uniform again but I live with my choices. Some I regret, others I don't. I didn't decide not to come back Lillian I was picked up by some...people. Shady people yet Starfleet. They more or less warped my view on Starfleet. Before them I loved the Fleet, loved being a part of something bigger. Now...now I just miss it."

"I can handle you, I know that for certain." Lillian said with gentle smile, taking a chance and kissing him gently, letting out a soft sigh when their lips connected. "You're incredibly lucky I love you so much."

She pulled back and looked down at her uniform, taking in the red and nodding a little bit--it was strange for her not to be a doctor when she was so used to it. In fact, in her condition, it would be easier to be the CMO, but she could do this. People had faith in her and she needed to have a lot more faith in herself. It would help though if she could exude a bit more confidence to get people to start addressing her more professionally.

Obviously this was how people had once felt about her and her unprofessionalism.

"Whatever position you want, its yours." Lillian told Taylor, taking hold of his shirt as she took a step back because she needed to check on Engineering and the Bridge. "I just want you here. We should do dinner or something...talk, catch up--something light."

"Sure thing." said Taylor happily. "I'll get ready then come over to your quarters tonight for something to eat. I'll think about how I want to make myself useful. Go do your thing I'll find some way to occupy myself."

Entering the room were the ''guests'' were, Reius didn't know who he had in front of him nor did he care. His old General priority took over, ready to give the Orion girl on the bio bed treatment for her wounds. With a grim face, without any source of kindness--one you could find on a old soldier who didn't want to waste time on a little things--he said, "'You, yeah you with the bloody chin--get out of my sickbay if you want your friend taken care of and I mean now. Same for you, Ms. Crae, out!'' He didn't care if he was yelling at the CO, nor did he care if his patient was a non-federate. She was in need of medical treatment and he was going to give it to her.

But as they say, 'once a Marine always a Marine...'

Taylor just blinked at the idiot who came barging in shouting left right and centre. Obviously this thick-necked doctor had been spending a little bit too much time testing experimental hypospray vials. "Right...first things first shite fer brains." said Taylor who's accent got thicker the angrier he got. "Obviously yiv bin spendin' tae much time with yer hand cause yer going blind. As ya kin see ma 'bloody chin' his bin healed so wit the fuck are you on aboot pal? Secondly, let's nae firgit the chain o' command here. Captain Crae can go wirever she bloody well pleases ya tit. Thirdly, obviously the moral implications of denyin' medical aid tae those that need it. Daeing so would get your medical degree pulled. Point number four and this is the important wan. If ya ever try to separate me from ma mate again, the next FNS bulletin board is gonna be aw aboo yer chibbin'."

After his spiel he flicked his index and middle finger at Reius with the words "Ya cunt" added on for best effect. He then turned to Lillian with a shrug. "Least ya winny huff tae worry aboot yer crew gettin' injuried. Won't want tae come here anyway. Good command choice."